Monday Motivational Mumbo-Jumbo

Soooo, all summer, I had “events” to train for, and dieting just wasn’t on my mind . But now … there is not really anything on the horizon- no big challenges, etc. No excuses.

So I stepped on the scale and this is what I saw:

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I’d like to drop about 15 pounds, so today is the first day of the rest of my … bla bla bla.

Onto the “motivational” pictures.

What do we have in the “binders” today… oh, lookie here …

Fat women:

Fat man:

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Fat Cat:

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Fat Dog:

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Fat mouse:

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Fat horse:

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Fat Patrick Star:

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I think I’ve illustrated the “fat” point pretty well. But WHAT diet to do? This one looks nice:

chinese_diet

Ten pounds in a week? Sign me up. Week and a half, and I’d be DONE. I can’t find any information on it, so if anyone knows the ancient Chinese secret to losing 10 pounds in a week, drop me a line.

Then there is Eat All You Want Diet , which speaks to me on a spiritual level. You are supposed to read your body’s cues about what you need to eat, and how much, etc. Which … I’m pretty sure is how most of us ended up in the shape we’re in.

Or perhaps the Skinny Bitch Diet?

In essence this is an extreme vegan diet that describes meat as ‘dead, rotting, decomposing flesh’. The list of forbidden foods includes all animal products (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy), refined flour, sugar, honey, beer, caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) and any food that contains chemical additives like artificial sweeteners. “Sugar is the devil and artificial sweeteners just as bad” they state.

Sounds like FUN!

I think the worst diet that I’ve actually known people to try is the “egg diet”. I probably rolled my eyes the last time someone told me there were going on this diet. LOSE 24 POUNDS in 14 DAYS!!!

Awesome, right?

How does it work? Well, this is basically what you eat:

Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and 1 citric fruit.
-Lunch: 2 slices of bread and some fruit.
-Dinner: a bowl of salad and chicken.

…for two weeks. Someone try it and let me know how it goes.

I’m going to just do the boring “count macros, eat less, work-out ” thing. Mare is encouraged to call me a fat-ass until I reach my goal-ish range. Macrostax is the program I’m using (it’s just an app) and I’ll up my running while I can, and continue with crossfit.

October 21, 2019
Categories: #Problematic, cat blogging, Catnaps, Good Stupid, I am, I am judging you, I Love You Peeps, I used to be funneh and shit, I'm gonna need new batteries, lazy bastards anonymous, Learn some shit, Snake juice guzzler . . Author: Car in . Comments: 105 Comments