Monday Motivational Mumbo-Jumbo

Soooo, all summer, I had “events” to train for, and dieting just wasn’t on my mind .   But now … there is not really anything on the horizon- no big challenges, etc. No excuses.

So  I stepped on the scale and this is what I saw:

 

I’d like to drop about 15 pounds, so today is the first day of the rest of my … bla bla bla.

Onto the “motivational” pictures.

What do we have in the “binders” today… oh, lookie here …

Fat women:

 

Fat man:

 

Fat Cat:

 

Fat Dog:

Fat mouse:

 

Fat horse:

 

Fat Patrick Star:

 

I think I’ve illustrated the “fat” point pretty well. But WHAT diet to do? This one looks nice:

 

 

Ten pounds in a week? Sign me up. Week and a half, and I’d be DONE.  I can’t find any information on it, so if anyone knows the ancient Chinese secret to losing 10 pounds in a week, drop me a line.

Then there is  Eat All You Want Diet , which speaks to me on a spiritual level.  You are supposed  to read your body’s cues about what you need to eat, and how much, etc. Which … I’m pretty sure is how most of us ended up in the shape we’re in.

Or perhaps the Skinny Bitch Diet?

In essence this is an extreme vegan diet that describes meat as ‘dead, rotting, decomposing flesh’. The list of forbidden foods includes all animal products (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy), refined flour, sugar, honey, beer, caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) and any food that contains chemical additives like artificial sweeteners. “Sugar is the devil and artificial sweeteners just as bad” they state.

Sounds like FUN!

I think the worst diet that I’ve actually known people to try is the “egg diet”.  I probably rolled my eyes the last time someone told me there were going on this diet.  LOSE 24 POUNDS in 14 DAYS!!!

Awesome, right?

How does it work? Well, this is basically what you eat:

Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and 1 citric fruit.
-Lunch: 2 slices of bread and some fruit.
-Dinner: a bowl of salad and chicken.

 

…for two weeks.  Someone try it and let me know how it goes.

I’m going to just do the boring “count macros, eat less, work-out ” thing.   Mare is encouraged to call me a fat-ass until I reach my goal-ish range.   Macrostax is the program I’m using (it’s just an app) and I’ll up my running while I can, and continue with crossfit.

 

 

BBF

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

 

Your model for today was born April 7th, 1986 in Athens, Tennessee.  She stands 5′ 8″ and measures 36-26-36 and 122 lbs.  Please be nice and say howdy to Miss Alison Angel!

 

One for You, One for Meme

Merry Christmas

Wow, seems like we were just using our Halloween avatars! Christmas stuff has been on display for weeks in my neck of the woods and I’m sure it’ll be worse the next time I go in a store.

Last Few Days At Camp

In Maine I discovered early on that quite a few people have a camp they migrate to in the summer. “Camp” is a term with a wide latitude. It may mean a shack with an outhouse out in the williwacks or an oceanfront mansion next to the Bush clan down in Kennebunkport. Ours is a worn out place built in the 60’s with a living room floor that’s uneven, a plumbing / septic system that gives us fits and hideous wallpaper in the bedrooms. The main attraction? The screened in porch is 10 feet from the water’s edge. It really is beautiful. There are a lot of PITA things we deal with given that our neighbors are just 30 feet away on either side of us but I’ve grown to like the change of pace that our summers give us now. Once the kids head back to school it becomes a challenge to head up for the weekend or even a day. By the time we pack everyone’s crap up, two dogs and their food, buy groceries, etc we’re all frazzled. We’ll see what happens after the kids are moved out.

Thursday New Poat

Good morning boys and girls and xbrads.

Here’s a fresh poat for everyone.

Scott and LauraW continue their vacation. Beasn continues the home improvement project from hell.

After five years out I’ve started to get recruitment letters asking me if I want to apply for a commission in the Army Reserve. They must be truly desperate for people.

Leon is busy denouncing the moral degredation of today’s youth.  Car in, meanwhile, has had enough of your shit.  Perhaps she shouldn’t have sent Ethan to Jimbro to get his surgery.  MJ’s busy trying to keep the spice in his marriage.

Wait… where the fuck is Xbrad?

Mare needs a little encouragement some mornings.

Shhhh… it’s going to be ok, Pupster.

Should we organize a 21-rep salute?

And now, some music:

This pretty much sums up how I feel most days. But then I realize that I have you assholes as my fake internet friends, and everything is going to be alright.

This one’s just plain fun. As is this one.

Go forth and take on the world. Remember, it’s Thursday night, so celebrate.

BBF

Hello lazy dogs, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model is from Austria, she stands 5’7″ and measures 38E-26-37 and 118lbs.  Please Grüße das Vaterland and welcome,  Miss Lillith von Titz!

Maximum Minimum Thursday

Oh hi! I’m just a maximally creepy dolphin making sure your doors and windows are secure

Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

Big Phat Poat

Long time commenter and flyboy Phat expressed a fondness in the last poat for Michael Steel, and since he’s looking for entertainment I thought I’d not judge but accommodate his proclivities.