So we’re 1 week (+/-) out from teh calendericacal spring and we have nothing but blue skies and butterflies in the forecast (hhe he heeeeeee).
We got enough snow overnight to be irritating enough to cause delays around the are. I checked out Mr. Weatherman and that punk says there’s at least two more weeks of cold weather – down into the teens; the robins and redwing blackbirds better have packed their electric underoos cuz baby it’s gonna be cold out for a little bit longer.
Shockwaves went through the Hostage world when some skank stole the gilded crown from Sweet Vapid Ellie. Whatever, we’re tough and can move on. After all, it’s what we did twice during the Obama years for 8 long years.
Where’s Jewstin?
So – been kinda busy with trying to button up a bunch of outside projects before snow shows up. I just saw beasns‘ comment about picking your nose and having your head cave in – I Raffed out Roud – and still am. I have no idea why some things strike me as funny – but that comment did.
Turd – another of those things that i always laugh at; along with fart jokes…. whatev- i’ll die low brow, so fuck it.
The Tour of France by bicycle lasts most of the month of July. This year I think I read 2 articles about it. One was how the 2 guys who cover the race on TV are brilliant and the other one a couple of days ago discussing how the rider from the winning team is part of a system that has made the race boring by their success. Despite reading both of these articles (skimming is more like it) I cannot tell you who actually won the race. 
Crashes in bike races, especially road bikes, is part of the fun of watching. Sort of like NASCAR. Fast cars driving around an oval shaped track for hours on end. When they show the highlights, what do they show other than the winner drinking milk and the crashes? That’s right.
The Tour de France is one of those elitist sports that people who don’t watch the debased American sports like football and soccer claim to watch. Sort of like being a vegan…you’ll know if someone follows the tour within 5 minutes of meeting them. World cup soccer, international tennis, cricket, the list goes on and on. All of these things are fine, including being a vegan if you want to do that (dog whistle to Leon), I just don’t want to hear about how they’re superior to traditional American sports!
Right here: 
Or, if you’re not the social type, here, off by yourself:
Pay no attention to the fact that the deck currently has no rails. That has NOTHING to do with the plans for MJ’s “disappearance”. We’re ordering the wire this week, and hopefully that will be rectified.
Perhaps you’d want to zip around the lake on one of our jet skis!!! For the low, low price of a glass of wine paid to me, this can happen.
My crack mechanic (#2 son Matt) is at work getting them in top condition as I write:
We have TOP NOTCH accommodations here at Chez Car in and this can be had at a very reasonable rate *
*again a nice hearty glass of wine, and whoever needs it/asks first
I got a bunch of these cool light things for the deck, but I haven’t figured out how exactly I’m going to put them up:
I may try something new while I have guests, and as soon as I figure what this guy is saying I’ll try to whip some of this up. I don’t know how many more times I’m going to have to watch it …
There’s sure to be some awesome music on the deck too as I give everyone a very complete presentation of what’s currently rotating on my playlist.
And don’t forget the real reason for coming to Lapeerpalooza …
He’s dirty.
He’s smelly.
But he’s 155 pounds of pure love. Let’s all have a nice round of applause for MOOOOOOSE.
(not actual size – this is from last year)
Well, i don’t know what the heck else I can do to convince everyone?
Maybe this – one last picture of moose:
So funny I bust my felt wiiiiiiddddeee open.
The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
April 11, 2019
“Screw all those whores! I’m never going to be embarrassed about loving The US of A and wanting my President and government to put my Country’s interests first.
You don’t like America? Get the eff out.”