Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex | Changing Headers since March 2009

Sunday Ginger Monday Boots

“The point of sloths is to bring a sense of wonder…Did you know that every other animal’s favorite animal is the sloth?” – Ann Burton.

July 10, 2022
Categories: Allegedly, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex . . Author: Pupster . Comments: 69 Comments

Alex Chilton

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April 5, 2022
Categories: Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, I feel like chicken tonight. . . Author: Jay in Ames . Comments: 134 Comments

Crytidz – a Message from the Good Doctor

Because I post stupid shit that doesn’t even make sense to me most of the time, one of our brothers here at hostageland sent me a link for this little beastie:

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.X3_GfvHlh_8Fdpafkon4kAHaEK%26pid%3DApi&f=1

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January 27, 2022
Categories: #DeepanalBumpParty, alcohol, Aliens, amazing post, asshat anonymous, asshole, Balls, BroCav says - 2/10 would not pick again, Brown Snow, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Cheedy, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, conspiracy theory, Cults, foreskin, Genital Itch, Learn some shit, Moist, monkey love, sissymaryrosettacunt, Suddenly Sumo, this post sucks, Turkey Taint, whiskey, worst post evah!, Your mom sends her love . Tags: Brain Diseased, Seriously, That's Gonna Leave A Mark . Author: jam2 . Comments: 161 Comments

I read a post on the mothership and started laughing at a few of the pejorative names that were tossed around and it got me thinking about funny phrases and words. I know what you’re thinking…is this going to be the first in a long line of piscatorial posts or might we venture into a realm unknown?

The answer of course, is why not both? Just kidding. I think we can safely shelve our admiration for fisherman, old men, the sea, and how their bounty is turned into a delicious fried patchwork of amphibious parts. Today we embark upon a mission to call forth our favorite malicious insults.

Smoothbrain

Cockholster

Friend of Dorothy

Assface

Blue lipped mother fucker (non obama specific)

Chickenman

Dickbag

Peen lover

9/10 would smash this smoothbrain cockholster

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April 29, 2021
Categories: #hashtag, Bacon Strips, bacon wrapped booger, Baconwrappedboobbeer, Belly Button Micro Penis, Beret, Compound W, condom free septic tank, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, conspiracy theory, Eat a bag of dicks, Ed Balls, Ejaculate Responsibly - car in demands it, Fake Butt Accurate, fancy first dates and frilly underwear, H2 Eulogy, Hai Karate, how much wood wood a peckerwood peck if a peckerwood was drunk and went around pecking wood?, I feel like chicken tonight., I Feel the Need for Speed, Mini Eggs, NOT another post by Pupster, Plugged nickel, Plumbing, rhymes with "your mom", Ride the pony, Smoke a pole, Smokeshow, Summaries, Tastes More Like Regular, Ten Gallon, TurtleFacePlant, We don't need no stinking categories, whiskey, You Love Fish, It's Your Favorite, Your Welcome Hotspur . . Author: MJ (ghee/ghem) . Comments: 193 Comments

Down the Rabbit Hole

I always think man, the people on You-tube used to be so creative. Remember when it first started how amazing it was? Yeah…see this video? How exciting is THIS?!?!?! The first back flip on You-tube

The first video I ever sent to Merv.

I’d like to thank lauraw for introducing me to this work of art…I believe it is part of the reason Merv fell madly in love with me……….three years after I showed him the video, but really…who’s counting?

The first cat video on You-tube……and as we all know, the Internet was created for cat and dog videos…..I’m pretty sure all videos uploaded to You-tube in 2005 were filmed with a potato.

Cybergoon squad…….the very first “weird side of You-tube” video.

And last, but not least, the VERY first video uploaded to You-tube by one of the founders enjoying his time at the zoo….my guess is, this guy is probably a rich mofo.

Also, it’s entirely possible I sprained my finger picking categories. I might die. I’ll miss you all.

November 19, 2020
Categories: !RALGNAB, # Hashtag, #Championshiplevelboobs, #DeepanalBumpParty, #H2, #hashtag, #indogyears, #Problematic, #Reboob, 10/10 Would Smash, 1979 Bitchez, 2017 Big Boob Championships, 4/10 Would Still Smash, 7 / 9 fucks given, 7 of 9 fucks not given, 80s, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, 9/11 Bush's fault, ACHOO!, alcohol, Aliens, almond, amazing post, American Hero, And Now Another Poat by Pupster, ann coulter, As Little as Possible, asshat anonymous, asshole, bacon, Bacon Strips, bacon wrapped booger, Baconwrappedboobbeer, bad trip, BADASSDOM, Badtards, Ball de Cheese, Balls, bangin' your bud, BANGLAR After Action Report!, BANGLAR BALL BUSTER, BANGLAR BILLY MAYS HERE!!!!, BANGLAR BIRTHDAY!!, BANGLAR COFFEE, BANGLAR KING KONG!!, BANGLAR!, Barack Obama, barely passable trannies, Baseball, BBF, bbq, Beanie, Beauty Personified, Beaver Button, beefcake, Beer, Beer Tree Farm, Belly Button Micro Penis, Beret, Beriberi, Big Stones, Birfday, Birthday Beat Down, birthday beating for bro-cav, Birthday Cake, Black helicopters, Blankie, Blue Man Group, BOO!!!, Boobs, Books, BOOP!, Booze, Bowel Prep, Bowler, braunschweiger, Brazil, Breitbart, Brian Williams, bro-cav is sorry he's not sorry about leering at boobs, BroCav says - 2/10 would not pick again, BroCav wants one of you lame bastigae to create a recipe category - i see nothing good coming of that - but who am i to criticize the genius of the ppl around this chat room: salt to taste, Brown Snow, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Brut, Bugout Jelly, Bunker Pants!, bushmcchimpyhitlerhalliburton, but not the good kind, butt-pokey blues, Button Nose, Buzzcut, By The Beard Of Odin!, Caffeine, CAIR, california lesbian in love, Canine, Cartman, Cash for Crunkers, cashew, cat blogging, Catnaps, cats are evul, cereal, CHAD, Chapeau, Cheedy, cheese, Cheese Ball, Cheese Log Guzzler, Cheez Wiz, chi-chi was here category, Chicks dig a nice tool, Chief Grumpybutt, Chocolate, Chubs, Cinco De Mayo, Citrus Ursine Weiner Beverage, Cockfacefuckaloo, Compound W, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, conspiracy theory, Consumption, cool tunes, Coonskin, coonskin cap, Corncob Pipe, cow snot, Cowboy, Crime and Punishment, crisp bills, CRUNK JUICE!!!, Cults, Dan Rather, Dan's Pickled Eggs, Dan's Pickled Nutsack, Dang. I mean...dang., DDH, Death by Fishstick, Deck The Halls, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, Democrat Clown Car 2020, democrats, Dial C for cooter, dicking bimbos, dig deep the gathering gloom, dinkie dinky dunkers divin' deep, Does this look infected?, Dog Centric, dog love, Don't Make Me Kill You, Don't Talk Shit About Total, Double or nothing, Douche-bagger, Dr B wants to Spank you, Drinking heavily, Drugs, Drunken SeaHorse Blogging, duck face, ducks are people too, Earworm dammit, Easter Eggs, Easter Pig, Eat a bag of dicks, Ed Balls, Ejaculate Responsibly - car in demands it, Electrical, ember shoes, Emily, Emily's Dull Affect, erection day coverage, Fake Butt Accurate, fancy first dates and frilly underwear, Fart! Fart! Don't be a Shart!, fat chicks, Federal Witness Protection Program, filbert, Finely Freckled, fire in the hole, Fire melt steel mantra, fishy, flick it, flick it good, Floppy Disk, flower power, flowering flower, Floyd, Follically challenged, Foreignotica, foreskin, Fourth Grade, Fuck golf, Fuck Overtime I'm on Salary, FUCK SALT!!!, Fuck the GOP, fuck you, FUCK YOU ICE, fucking genius, Fucking Wagon, Fukksize Ghey Slacker, funny, furry, Garden, gardenblogging, General Bitching, Generic Category Category, Genital Itch, Gentian violet, Glitter Shit, Glitter Vomit for the Bulemics, Go Vote!, goatse, Good Stupid, GOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!, GOP Assholes, Gotta tattooed tit say number 13, Gout! Gout! Let it all out!, Granny Clinton, Grippe, groomin' your shroom, grope em if you got em, H2 Eulogy, H2 Pets, H2 Wedding, Hai Karate, Hambone, Hanks, Happy, Happy B-Day Michael, Happy Birfday Baby Jesus!!, Happy Birfday Wiser, Hardware, Headless Whoresman, Heads I win, Heavy Metal Thunder, Helen Thomas, Helen Thomas's Scrotum, Help me Regis, hey Poncho - that's Wiser!, High and tight, High Society Trash Bloggin', Hitler, Holidays, homophobe, hopey changey shit, Hosefuckers, Hostages Legal Aid, Hot Diggity Dog, Hot Dog Size Clitoris, Hot-n-tot's birthday beating, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, how much wood wood a peckerwood peck if a peckerwood was drunk and went around pecking wood?, Huevos divorciados, Hulk Smash, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, I am, I am judging you, i can't believe 3PO didn't have a golf catergory in here, I did not stick a cigar in that chick's cootch, i don't care if it doesn't rime - anciently or otherwise, I Don't Give A Shit, I feel like chicken tonight., I Love You Peeps, I used to be funneh and shit, I Will Kick Your Ass, I'm 7 Indians, I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy, I'm all out of bubble gum, I'm gonna need new batteries, I'm not judging you, i'm zero indians, If You Don't Like PattyAnn, illuminati, Incisor, Invisible Hand Spanking Machine, is tee-roy still in prison?, is there such a thing as bad bud? better axe the muppet, is there such a thing as bad head, Is This Ham Still Good?, It must be true!, It's Decorative Gourd Season Motherf*ckers, It's OK to be Ghey - or so teh Pope doth say, Jayson Blair, Jeebus, Jesus Freak, John Galt, Joke thread, Juice, Just Another Fucking Category, just another jimbroglio, just the D…, Kenya, Kinky Afro, Knockers, Kyle, Lactation, lazy bastards anonymous, Lazy Man's Lobster, Le Luc Long, Learn some shit, Leave Poland Alone, LEMON PARTY BISHES!!!, Lesbians, libtards, Like you know how to read., Literature, Loaded dice, Lobster Benedict, Lobster Newburg, Lobster roll, Lobster Thermidor, LOVE SALT!!!, Luckiest Dog Alive, Lumbago, Lumber, lying phquer, macadamia, Magic Carrot For Your Mom, Magic Hat, Make Him Stop - everybody probably, Makin' Bacon, Man, Man-Lesbian, Man-lesbians, ManBearPig, Marathon not a sprint, mardi gras groping, Marez-ee-dotes, marriage, Master Henry, Maxi Pads, meatdickbreath, meghan mccain fat, memememems, Mercurochrome, Merry Christmas, mesadick, Methadone Clinic Cougar, Microvag, milestones, Mini Eggs, misogyny, Mister Mxyzptlk, mittelschmerz, Moist, Molar, monkey love, mons of Marmota monax, Moon Pie Smash, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, mother fuckin' snakes under a mother fuckin' board, Mother's Day, motorboating done wrong, motorboating the brown-ringed zero, Muddle My Mint, Muppet Porn & You, Music Classics, mutha fuckin bootleg fireworks, My safe contains your mom, My Sharona, Nasal Nostalgia, Nate Silver, needs more tartar sauce, Never Gonna Give You Up, new post, new post needed ASAP!!!, NHL, Nice Melons, Nigeria, No Drama, No more wire hangers, no wait ---- a TRULY Amazing Post, North American Goat Love Association, nose nuggets, NOT another post by Pupster, Not Boobs, not boyfrien, Not Enough Categories ffs, Not in the mood for a funny poat, not mannish monday madness, Not yo baby, O, October Surprise, Oh Yeah?, Okay, Old Person, Old Spice, One Foot Muff, Oops., open your chaste mouth, oprah's big booty band, Oprah's Chocolate Starfish, Oprah's Slut Club, Oso made me do it!!!!, OWS, OWS Douchebags, oxycontin, oy!!, Pants Up, Don't Loot, paris hilton whore, Peace Through Douche, peanut, peanuts and corn the night before, pecan, pelvic rest, pelvic thrust, Penis Sipper, people make me sick, People Was Educated, personal junk, pets, Phone blogging, Pinch A Loaf, Pink Floyd, playing Hide the Salmon, Pleurisy, Plugged nickel, Plumbing, poat, police involvement, polishing turds, Politics, Pompadour, Poon In Ivy, POON!, Prankophilia, Pre-Law, Premolar, presidential portrait - poon in ivy, pron, pruritus ani, Pull My Finger Dammit!, Punk Rock, Puns are awesome, Pure Genius, pushing the tit wheelbarrow, quesadillas, QUID PRO QUO, QWERTY, racist, rape culture, Really, redhead, Redhead Bonus Points, Redheaded Dumpster Fire, Regaling the old Rumpus Room, Remembrance, rhymes with "your mom", Richard Butt RIP, riding the cock carousel, right wing rethuglican, robust hindquarters, Rocky Dennis, Ronaldus Maximus, Rosetta Likes This, Rub meat, Rule 34, Rumpus Room Rumba, rush limbaugh, Russian Collusion, Sac and Fox, Safety, Sandra Fluke, Say "What" Again, Scurvy, Secret Santa, Shark Week, She-Meat, Sherwin Fucking Williams, shit squirters, SHIZZLAP, show me your tits, shut your whore mouth, skittles, slut, Smoke a pole, Smokeshow, Snake, Snake Juice, Snake juice guzzler, soakin' the ole T-bone, Socialism!, Sodium Chloride Fornication, Someone needs a sandwich, Sorry., Space pens, starfish, Steamed Lobster, Stetson, Stetson (for men), STFU, Stop Trying To Make TuesD'AWWW Happen, Strap On Anonymous, Stroller, stupid fucking hippies, Suck It., Suddenly Sumo, Summaries, Superblood, supersonic faggotronic, Sure Why Not, Sweet Tunes, swinging with friends, Tails you lose, Taint Pics of Osprey, Taint Tanner, Taint what you think, Taking The Browns To The Super Bowl, Tards, taste the rainbow, Tastes Less Like Regular, Tastes More Like Regular, teh funny, Ten Gallon, tenterhooks, The 1%, The Bear Is Loose, the big OOOOOOOOOOOO, The Cat's Pajamas, The More You Know, the old ass-hair combover trick, The Religion of Peace, The Religion of Piece, The Wire, Things that really matter, This Blog Powered by Squirrel Farts, This is fucking bullshit, This is why I shouldn't watch movies I haven't seen in years., this poat is dedicated to XBeeRad, this post stinks, Thor!, Thorific, those are some big boobs, Those Who Serve, Three card Monte, Tincture of iodine, Tinfoil lingerie, TITS, Too Much Pressure, Totally Nude, Touser Snake Lovers Anonymous, transphobe, Trump's Fault, truther, Tube Steak Fever, tubgirl, Tuesday, Turkey Taint, TurtleFacePlant, Uncategorized, unicorns, Uniform, unintended consequences, vagine, Vaseline Kiss, Vlatabadababadoodoo, walnut, WarPr0n, We don't need no stinking categories, weather blog, Weekend Memes, weiner, What the Fuck, Jenny?, whatever, Where's Cyn?, Where's MJ?, Where's Thor?, Whiny little twerp, whiskey, Whitey is teh Debble, Who Cut The Cheese?, Who You Calling Racist?, who's turn is it to grope Cyn, Why Do We Need Categories?, wing nut wingnut, Wipe your Cobarruvias!, Wisdom, wisermeany, With a tire iron, Xanthan gum, Yard and Garden, Yellow Fever, yo!, You have some Junk in the Trump, You Love Fish, It's Your Favorite, You Make Me Feel Like Dancing, you might be gay if you like this, You People Make Me Sick, YOU WISH, You're a douchenozzle for playing the Rosetta card, You're a TOTAL douche, You're gonna love my nuts, Your dad likes this, Your Mom, your mom has a robust rumpus room, your mom is a fish monger, your mom likes a slippery trout, Your mom likes this, your mom loves felt love, Your Mom LOVES my snake juice, Your mom sends her love, Your mom should be on the new ten, your mom's cooter, your mom's flower, Your Welcome Hotspur, Z - we don't have a Z, zero fucks, ZOMFG!!11ty!, Zzyzx . . Author: pajama momma . Comments: 241 Comments

Monkey Meat Madness – Tuesday Tales of the Bush

“I told my children that we cannot continue eating bush meat or any dry meat because we fear that the Ebola is very near now,”

Next thing you know people will stop having sex in the bush too….

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February 12, 2019
Categories: #DeepanalBumpParty, #H2, braunschweiger, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, Ejaculate Responsibly - car in demands it, fancy first dates and frilly underwear, foreskin, Genital Itch, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, i can't believe 3PO didn't have a golf catergory in here, is tee-roy still in prison?, lazy bastards anonymous, Like you know how to read., Marez-ee-dotes, Master Henry, mesadick, monkey love, Muppet Porn & You, new post needed ASAP!!!, Nigeria, no wait ---- a TRULY Amazing Post, not mannish monday madness, One Foot Muff, oy!!, pruritus ani, Pull My Finger Dammit!, rape culture, Remembrance, She-Meat, Stop Trying To Make TuesD'AWWW Happen, Suck It., supersonic faggotronic, The Bear Is Loose, This Blog Powered by Squirrel Farts, unintended consequences, Where's Cyn?, Whiny little twerp, who's turn is it to grope Cyn, Z - we don't have a Z . . Author: jam2 . Comments: 142 Comments

New Year in Review – a myopic

So the year is well under way.

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January 3, 2019
Categories: #DeepanalBumpParty, amazing post, asshat anonymous, Bowel Prep, BroCav says - 2/10 would not pick again, butt-pokey blues, chi-chi was here category, Chicks dig a nice tool, Citrus Ursine Weiner Beverage, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, Dial C for cooter, Double or nothing, Ejaculate Responsibly - car in demands it, Electrical, foreskin, Fukksize Ghey Slacker, Genital Itch, grope em if you got em, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, is tee-roy still in prison?, just another jimbroglio, lazy bastards anonymous, Marez-ee-dotes, monkey love, no wait ---- a TRULY Amazing Post, Oso made me do it!!!!, oy!!, polishing turds, pruritus ani, Pure Genius, rhymes with "your mom", soakin' the ole T-bone, Where's Thor?, who's turn is it to grope Cyn . Tags: hi jewstin, xbrad thinks susan estridge is hot . Author: jam2 . Comments: 129 Comments

What the ever living f*%^ is wrong with you people?

Pick One –

Make it yours –

You know you want to…

Acute Stress Disorder

Agoraphobia

Amnesia, Dissociative

Anorexia Nervosa

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Bipolar Disorder

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Brief Psychotic Disorder

Depersonalization Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

Dyspareunia

Dysthymic Disorder

Erectile Disorder, Male

Gambling, Pathological

Gender Identity Disorder

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

Hypochondriasis

Impotence

Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Kleptomania

Masochism, Sexual

Major Depressive Disorder

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Orgasmic Disorder, Female

Orgasmic Disorder, Male

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

Premature Ejaculation

Pyromania

Sadism, Sexual

Schizophrenia

Schizoaffective Disorder

Schizophreniform

Sexual Arousal Disorder, Female

Sexual Aversion Disorder

Shared Psychotic Disorder

Somatization Disorder

Substance Abuse

Substance Dependence

Transvestic Fetishism

March 6, 2018
Categories: #DeepanalBumpParty, #Problematic, American Hero, asshat anonymous, bad trip, Barack Obama, Black helicopters, Blankie, Blue Man Group, BOOP!, california lesbian in love, Chicks dig a nice tool, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, coonskin cap, cow snot, CRUNK JUICE!!!, Don't Talk Shit About Total, foreskin, fucking genius, Genital Itch, goatse, grope em if you got em, i'm zero indians, just another jimbroglio, Man-lesbians, Marez-ee-dotes, Moist, new post needed ASAP!!!, Not Boobs, Oso made me do it!!!!, oy!!, Poon In Ivy, riding the cock carousel, Rumpus Room Rumba, Sherwin Fucking Williams, Where's Cyn?, zero fucks . . Author: jam2 . Comments: 119 Comments

BBF

Hello basket cases and basket faces, welcome to the first installment of:

Got Totally Robbed in 2017 for Big Boob Friday Championships-

Contestant #1 who I am totally reposting from last year.

Today’s model did not have an good agent, competent legal representation. or readily available nakies which probably was an automatic disqualifier for the cheaters who elevated these over this, this, aaaand this in last year’s championship round.

She has the best nam e, the best smile, and wholesome good looks that should, in a world with any justice, make her the queen of the universe.

Please welcome back the imaginary girlfriend Colorado Alex wishes he was always talking about, Miss Carolina Neto!

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January 12, 2018
Categories: #Championshiplevelboobs, 2017 Big Boob Championships, BBF, Boobs, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, Dang. I mean...dang., those are some big boobs, You People Make Me Sick . Tags: Pylon Pileon . Author: Pupster . Comments: 189 Comments

Colorado Alex’s Excellent Eurotrip Vacation

So I’m currently in Spain after spending the week in Baumholder, Germany. One of the perks of the job is that we go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors. One of the downsides of the job is that we have to go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors. It’s normally cool, but sucks when the base is located in a backwater next to nothing but small towns and the locals don’t speak English. But luckily I don’t have to do an assessment of Fort Polk this year.

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November 19, 2017
Categories: #Problematic, 4/10 Would Still Smash, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, amazing post, As Little as Possible, braunschweiger, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, dicking bimbos, Drinking heavily, Gout! Gout! Let it all out!, Helen Thomas, High Society Trash Bloggin', Huevos divorciados, Hulk Smash, I am judging you, Kinky Afro, Lactation, Master Henry, Mercurochrome, motorboating done wrong, Nate Silver, No more wire hangers, North American Goat Love Association, Peace Through Douche, slut, Snake juice guzzler, taste the rainbow, Tastes Less Like Regular, Tastes More Like Regular, This is fucking bullshit, Trump's Fault, Where's Cyn?, Where's MJ?, Your mom sends her love . . Author: Colorado Alex In Exile . Comments: 209 Comments