Monkey Meat Madness – Tuesday Tales of the Bush

“I told my children that we cannot continue eating bush meat or any dry meat because we fear that the Ebola is very near now,”

Next thing you know people will stop having sex in the bush too….

New Year in Review – a myopic

So the year is well under way.

What the ever living f*%^ is wrong with you people?

Pick One –

Make it yours –

You know you want to…

Acute Stress Disorder

Agoraphobia

Amnesia, Dissociative

Anorexia Nervosa

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Bipolar Disorder

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Brief Psychotic Disorder

Bulimia Nervosa

Conversion Disorder

Cyclothymic Disorder

Delusional Disorder

Depersonalization Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

Dyspareunia

Dysthymic Disorder

Erectile Disorder, Male

Exhibitionism

Fetishism

Frotteurism

Fugue, Dissociative

Gambling, Pathological

Gender Identity Disorder

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

Hypochondriasis

Impotence

Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Kleptomania

Masochism, Sexual

Major Depressive Disorder

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Orgasmic Disorder, Female

Orgasmic Disorder, Male

Pain Disorder

Panic Disorder

Pedophilia

Phobias

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

Premature Ejaculation

Pyromania

Sadism, Sexual

Schizophrenia

Schizoaffective Disorder

Schizophreniform

Sexual Arousal Disorder, Female

Sexual Aversion Disorder

Shared Psychotic Disorder

Somatization Disorder

Substance Abuse

Substance Dependence

Transvestic Fetishism

Trichotillomania

Vaginismus

Voyeurism

 

BBF

Hello basket cases and basket faces, welcome to the first installment of:

Got Totally Robbed in 2017 for Big Boob Friday Championships-

Contestant #1 who I am totally reposting from last year.

Today’s model did not have an good agent, competent legal representation. or readily available nakies which probably was an automatic disqualifier for the cheaters who elevated these over this, this, aaaand this in last year’s championship round.

She has the best name, the best smile, and wholesome good looks that should, in a world with any justice, make her the queen of the universe.

Please welcome back the imaginary girlfriend Colorado Alex wishes he was always talking about, Miss Carolina Neto!

 

Colorado Alex’s Excellent Eurotrip Vacation

So I’m currently in Spain after spending the week in Baumholder, Germany.  One of the perks of the job is that we go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors.  One of the downsides of the job is that we have to go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors.  It’s normally cool, but sucks when the base is located in a backwater next to nothing but small towns and the locals don’t speak English.  But luckily I don’t have to do an assessment of Fort Polk this year.

MMM 285: The Agenda is Everywhere

And historical ignorance abounds.  I tried to watch the Netflix Castlevania cartoon over the weekend and made it less than 4 minutes before thumbing it down.  Well-drawn, but utter garbage for writing.  For those who never played the games, Castlevania was about various members of the Belmont family fighting Dracula and his offshoots and allies at various points in late Medieval and early Renaissance history.  Men (white men!), faithful to God (going to church for restoration and items like holy water occurs in the early games), fighting a satanic, evil immortal being.

First scene of this shit is – in 1455 AD, we’re told – a Strong Independent Woman^tm marching past acres of impaled human bodies to Dracula’s castle.  She bravely enters and proceeds to… scold Dracula about being such a naughty person, then ask him to teach her his super-science so she can become a doctor.  A real doctor, not some cunning woman with poultices and boiling nettles.  Dracula (who is basically Disney’s Beast in terms of visible menace) tells her that he likes her spirit and then agrees to do as she asks.  The next scene is 1475 AD, where Lisa (aforementioned aspiring doctor) is being burned at the stake for witchcraft by a group of evil-looking priests, one of whom is a bishop.  The discussion they have while she burns explicitly conflates science and witchcraft, and the bishop gives one of the priests who says he’s been studying a bit of chemistry (“just a study, to better understand our enemies”) a sidelong glance of the “you might be next at the stake” sort.  I bailed.  WTF?  The only thing they got right was that everyone at least appeared to be European, and hey, nice shout-out with the “AD”.  Let’s completely ignore that the university system (invented by the Church for the advancement of Man) has existed for almost 500 years already, and the University of Paris was founded in 1045 AD with Medicine as one of it’s 4 foundational fields of inquiry.  I just want to punch a lot of retards in the face.  Must be Monday.

Her outfit is falling apart, someone help!

BBF

Hello Deer Friends, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model is from Jolly Olde England, born January 14th, 1990, she stars with her prettier sister in some reality show or something over there.  At 30H-24-32, 5’4″ and 119lbs, please welcome Miss Billie Faiers!

19th Annual Halloween Extravaganza Post

Hello fellow H2ers. As you all know, October 29th or 30th is the day that we all set aside our differences–zumba or crossfit, fish sticks or chicken nuggets, terrible heavy metal or terrible alt-rock, test anxiety or work anxiety, grabbing pussies or manginas, flame throwers or hot pepper induced magma sharts, pickles or cheetos,– to celebrate our annual Halloween extravaganza and the ritual circumcision of a perfectly good gourd.

Please post pictures of your carlos-o-lanterns, your kids candy haul, a house that you egged and tee-peed, or funny Halloween stuff.

In case you missed it…here’s the drink recipe from this week’s SES.

Zombie MJ

1 oz light rum

1 oz gold rum

1.5 oz dark rum

1/2 oz 151 proof rum

1/2 oz pineapple juice

1/2 oz papaya juice

1/2 oz fresh lime juice

Fill a pint glass almost full with ice. In a shaker, combine the light, dark, and gold rum. Add the juice, and shaky shaky. Pour over the ice, and pour the 151 proof rum over the back of a spoon to float it on the drink.

Fun garnish: Take a sprig of mint and dip it in lime juice then coat it in sugar. It should dry with the sugar adhered to the mint. Very pretty.

Happy Halloween, babies. 

MJ:

 

Big Boob Friday

Good morning boys and girls. I’ll confess that I went to bed last night having completely forgotten about this, but as I drifted off in to sweet dreams I was suddenly jerked awake with the thought that I had agreed to do this week’s BBF. So this BBF is thrown together at the last minute, but really isn’t that the standard with this place? You don’t get the BBF you want, but perhaps the BBF you need, and even deserve.

MMM 205: Making America Great Again in 2016

So the year begins and HOLY CRAP I’m excited.  It’s going to be amazing.  2016 is bound to be better than 2015.  Here’s my reasoning:

You know all those things that can’t go on forever?  Remember how things that can’t go on forever… don’t?  Every single one of those things is now closer to ending.  SOMETHING is going to fail catastrophically this year, and gravity will bring something with no business in the air crashing to the ground.  Keep the popcorn handy.  If it’s the EBT system, oh man, hilarity will surely ensue.  Another market crash?  WOOOOO!  The only thing better would be an actual zombie apocalypse.

ARE YOU PUMPED?

Lat work.