I Wear My Meme Glasses at Night

Yeah, you probably saw that one coming.

Simple + Machine = Simple Machine

I remember reading about simple machines back in elementary school. Probably read it in an encyclopedia one day. Yeah, pre-internet, pre-video games we lived a boring life. Our parents bought the World Book Encyclopedia and we actually used it since going to the library was a pain in the ass when you didn’t have a car. Or driver’s license for that matter. This quote always puzzled me as a kid

Dunking Minnetonka

POS Spring

So we’re 1 week (+/-) out from teh calendericacal spring and we have nothing but blue skies and butterflies in the forecast (hhe he heeeeeee).

We got enough snow overnight to be irritating enough to cause delays around the are. I checked out Mr. Weatherman and that punk says there’s at least two more weeks of cold weather – down into the teens; the robins and redwing blackbirds better have packed their electric underoos cuz baby it’s gonna be cold out for a little bit longer.

MMM – Car-in’s version because Possum is sick

First a bit of motivational music- this is a real toe tapper.

 

 

Let’s see who I have in my binders of women.

The woman on the left is doing a chest to bar, which … bad-ass.

 

This looks pretty hard-core too, but I don’t want to try it.

The dreaded wall balls. I hates them.

Kettlebells are good.

The way I feel after most workouts.

See? Kettlebells are hard. This is kettlebell girl.

 

Are you motivated? I am.

 

/side note – I’m happy to see that “beer tree farm” has made it to our categories. Well played.

 

Closing song:

 

Update: I can’t believe I didn’t include this!

 

 

Gallimaufry Thursday

Fancy word for a hodgepodge that I’ve never heard before but describes this poat to a “T”. The Oprah made a brave and historic speech the other night at the Golden Globes. At least that’s what every liberal commentator in the MSM is claiming. It’s almost time for the liberal pollsters to tell us her overwhelming odds of victory.

My Friends Are Better Than Your Friends

Wait, wut? So quick baby update and a big thank you to some very nice people for sending gifts to the house. Its been a truly wonderful experience to understand how many people are wishing the little guy well. I’m super pleased that he’ll have a whole group of crazy aunts, uncles, and inflatable sheep to make sure he doesn’t turn into a giant pain in the ass.

Blankie Engineered by NASA

Maximum Minimum Thursday

Oh hi! I’m just a maximally creepy dolphin making sure your doors and windows are secure

Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

Sing-along Sunday

Cheerfully stolen off Faceplant and edited to remove the repeated choruses. You can figure ’em out.

Grandma got run over by the Trump train.
Rigging all the polls election eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as karma.
But as for me and America we believe.

She’d been drinking too much kool aid.
And we begged her not to cheat.
But she wasn’t on medication.
So she made deals with Arabs and DC elites.

(chorus)

When we found her the next morning.
People all screamed Trump was worse.
She had track marks on her forehead.
And incriminating emails in her purse.

Now we’re not real proud of liberals
They’ve not been taking it real well.
See them burning down their cities
Looting stores and overall just raising hell.

Now that Trump has won the White House.
All the snowflakes are about to crack.
And we just can’t help but wonder:
Will he let illegals stay or send them back?
SEND THEM BACK!!!

Now the economy is on an upswing.
And Americans sleep in peace. Ahh.
And the red white and blue fireworks.
Remind me how Mattis will deal with the middle east.

I celebrated with all my neighbors.
As Hillary fell from grace.
And now it makes me proud to say
God bless President Trump and the USA!

Cue Hotspur’s favorite quote.