The Martyrdom of St Bert & Ernie


Am I a terrible friend? Yes, of course.

But to make up for my obvious ingratitudeness and total dismissal of the time, energy, and thought put into my Secret Santa gift by my, er, my Secret Santa, I called the local TV station (44 NEWS) who arranged for a convent to bring by all of the homeless, orphaned children in the tri-state area for the big unveiling.

You can imagine their upturned, shining faces plastered with grins and looks of anticipation as I tore into the wrapping paper. The nuns were similarly enraptured and bowed in prayer, thanking god for the opportunity to witness this miracle. The air was vibrating with possibility–broadcast live into every living room within farming distance.

The paper gave way to a neon shoe box, and I paused to give a short speech:

Children of Indiana, Kentucky, and Illinois; assorted nuns and local dignitaries: I stand here before you, humbled by the contents of this box. In it are the hopes, dreams and aspirations of a generation. This is the moment that history will remember as the turning point of time which gave way to those who are on the right side of history. This is the moment where the snows began to recede and we rose up to throw off the chains of the past stating, ‘this is the moment of history!’

I lifted the lid of the shoe box, and gently unfolded the tissue paper to reveal the contents of the box:

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Secret Santa 2017

My secret Santa sent this wonderfully-wrapped assortment:


Which turned out to be this neat selection of goodies:


And this lovely ornament that I almost missed:


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MMM 301: Secret Santa Edition

hot christmas girls3.jpg

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Hello movers and shakers, welcome to Big Boob Friday.




Your model for today was born May 7th, 1987 in Lyon, France. 37E-25-35, 5’4″ and 114lbs, please get down in front and say bonjour to Miss Anissa Kate!

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Hello students, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.


God I love that song.

Me:  Big boat deluxe,  big boat denied

Google Play:  Big boat devolves, big boat deny

Lyrics A-Z:  Big broken love, big broken knives

Revolve Lyrics:  Big boat deloves, big boat denies


Your model was born in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on February 5th, 1991, and currently resides in Los Angeles, California.  She stands 5′8″, 110lbs and 34C-24-34 on the nevergonnahappen scale.  Please stop ignoring the pussy and welcome, Miss Ellie Gonsalves!

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Secret Santa 2016: The Unwrapping

I’m stuck in a CPR class until 730, so if you can add your own photo here, go for it, otherwise, just email me and I’ll get them into the post ASAP.

Advent music:

Leon’s gift:


Jimbro’s gift:


Teresa’s gift:


and being modeled:


Brent’s gift:


XBradTC’s present:


Pupster’s Gift (?)




PUP EDIT: I’m not sure if this anonymous Amazon package was my SS gift or a Secret Nessie the Wonder Dog admirer, but thanks, she loves it.

Tomswifty received this bundle of goodies:


Seanm’s gifts:


Colorado Alex in Exile’s gift


Jay in Ames, pretty wrapping, seems to be popular!


Baby, it’s cold outside. But not inside!


MJ’s gift from Mare, if she really exists:



Secret Santa Poat 2016

Punchin’ heretic bishops, old-school.

Anyhow, it’s that time of year again, and I’m humbly stepping up to provide the key function of randomly assigning people to buy presents for other people after they’ve elected to be included in such a scheme.  I don’t know how Cyn did the forms in years past, so if you want in this year, email my user name at the gee mail thingy by midnight Monday (11-28-2016), and I’ll get you a victim’s name by 8am on Tuesday morning.  Please include your name, FULL address, your handle here, and an anecdote about the H2 so I’ll know you aren’t a creepy stalker type (well, one that doesn’t actually comment, anyhow).  We will plan to open presents on Sunday, December 18, at 8pm EST, so HAVE IT IN THE MAIL by December 7.