What I felt like poating

Until something better newer comes along.

Chat Room Starter Thread

Now with 100% moar boob-free content!!

Big Boob Friday™

Good afternoon, RomneyPhones.

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Cyn and I wrote this song way back in 1987. We’d been living in Hollywood for a few months when we ran into a guy that called himself Axl. I developed a pretty strong addiction to huffing Aquanet, and Cyn…well Cyn was called Sin back then IYKWIMAITYD. In order to keep ourselves stocked up on hair care products and meth, but mostly hair care products, we decided to write a few songs for our new friend Axl and his buddies Slash, what’s his name, that other guy, and that dude that plays the drums.

Cyn wrote the first part:

If I say I don’t need anyone
I can say these things to you
‘Cause I can turn on anyone
Just like I’ve turned on you
I’ve got a tongue like a razor
A sweet switchblade knife
And I can do you favors
But then you’ll do whatever I like.

I responded with the chorus:

Here I am
And you’re a Rocket Queen
I might be a little young
But Honey I ain’t naive
Here I am
And you’re a Rocket Queen oh yeah
I might be too much
But honey you’re a bit obscene.

Cyn:

I’ve seen everything imaginable
Pass before these eyes
I’ve had everything that’s tangible
Honey you’d be surprised
I’m a sexual innuendo
In this burned out paradise
If you turn me on to anything
You better turn me on tonight.

I don’t really remember anything after that. I woke in the hospital a few days later, apparently brought in by someone calling themselves Mrs. Robinson. Or so the doctors told me.

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This week’s model has probably been here before, but it’s not like you guys/gals would remember. Most of you don’t remember how you got in front of the computer, let alone what happened a few weeks or months ago. Anywho, please give a 47% welcome to 100% of Sophie Howard!!!!!!!!!

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BREAKING: Draft of Obama’s 2013 Inauguration speech discovered

Must credit Wiserbud!

DRAFT

President Barack Obama’s 2013 Inauguration Speech

Are you fucking kidding me??  Seriously, are you people out of your fucking minds?  You re-elected me?  ME??   I’m the worst fucking President this country has ever seen and you stupid fucking idiots actually voted me to a second term??  Jesus Christ, people, what the hell do I have to do here?

Did you honestly think I really wanted a second term?  Fuck no, I didn’t even want a FIRST term, you fucking fools!  Didn’t I make that painfully obvious with all the dumbass  shit  I pulled during this campaign?  But noooooo, you goddamn assholes had to re-elect me anyway.

Amen, brother, amen.

How Happy are you that the NFL Refs are coming back?

Are you this happy?

HHD – Eye Candy Edition

Yesterday I learned that our President is “eye candy.”

News to me.

AACK. First, we need a nice, cleansing, long look at a crowd favorite. It’s been here before, it’ll probably be back in the future. I give you – Bond, James Bond.

^Eye. Candy.^ If those hags on The View think Obummer is “eye candy” then it’s time they be let out to pasture.

Debate Questions

According to President Ladies Tee and the YellowMedia™ debatin’ is hard. They’d both like you to know that Obama isn’t really good at it, while conversely Mitt Romney, as Uncle Joe would say, is literally the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln. One might be led to think that there is something foul afoot by the democrat media, driven initially by Jim Messina, Obama’s ginger pedophile campaign manager.

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How can it be that the media presents Mitt Romney as a veritable gaffe machine yet also the greatest orator of our time?

Because shut up, that’s why.

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Monday Muscular Motivational

I feel like I really ought to follow Rosetta’s lengthy, content-rich poat with something to make the lurkers feel like poats here are often worth reading.

Since that would be an utter disservice to them and a flat-out lie, this poat is gonna have even less than usual text, but a little more than the normal content. I’ve got some kinda crud infection in my throat, it’s high-intensity week in my training cycle, and I’ve got to finish this week’s lunch prep in about 20 minutes. Happy Monday, folks.

43 days until the election. The president means to harm the nation, and must be replaced. Help that to happen.

Open Letter to Democrat Voters

No, not you embarrassing “journalists” who serve as nothing other than flaccid propaganda organs for this administration.  You go fuck yourselves.  I mean really?  You don’t know how to spin horrific events in Libya until Jay Carney sends you a sext?

Think about that you MSNBC hacks.  You get your talking points from Jay fucking Carney.  No one expects more from MSNBC but the rest of you MSM bluenecks are all blatant shills, idiots and losers and you are pathetic at the trade you sorrily pretend to practice.  You please go ahead and vote for Obama because he makes you feel, unsuccessfully I’m guessing, like less of a old guilt-ridden condescending privileged racist.

This letter is also not intended for the other out-of-touch sneering warm-mongering Democrat-members of the 1% who pretend to care about the “little people”.