BBF

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

 

Your model for today was born on August 24th, 1990 in Stargard Szczeciński, Poland.  She stands 5’10” and measures 35G – 24 – 37 and 130 lbs.  Please get yourself situated for Miss Ewelina Olczak AKA Victoria Macreatis.

 

My Friends Are Better Than Your Friends

Wait, wut? So quick baby update and a big thank you to some very nice people for sending gifts to the house. Its been a truly wonderful experience to understand how many people are wishing the little guy well. I’m super pleased that he’ll have a whole group of crazy aunts, uncles, and inflatable sheep to make sure he doesn’t turn into a giant pain in the ass.

Blankie Engineered by NASA

Shane’s World

Ok, all the pervs who got that, raise your hands.

Whoa. You people are sick!

Shane obviously is an H2 lurker

Who Dat? Not My Preznit!

As I’m sure you are all aware president Obama is set to make his big comeback to the US and public life after pretending to write his memoirs on a mega yacht with Oprah and Tom Hanks (WILSON!!!!!!!). Here’s an excerpt of his first draft that will be later turned into dramatic prose by a little known college professor and spontaneous combustion enthusiast. 

Chapter 1

Barack’s version: Sat down to watch a rerun of SportCenter at 11 after calling SlowJoe and a quick workout with Mooch. Fell asleep. Woke up during the nooner of SC just in time to see Venus Williams winning some white shit tourney for the third time. Man, what an ass. I’d like to put a Mike Tyson mask on her and lay into them hindquarters. Trump sucks! San Demus High School rules!

Ayers version: Five Nine score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.

Speaking of C**ts

So funny I bust my felt wiiiiiiddddeee open.

BBF–Old School Edition

Hi There. You have been selected to view Big Boob Friday!!!!!! Please to be scrolling down for crotchel tingles?

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You guys will all hate this, but I’m thinking of number between -1 and 1 that indicates the number of bowel movements I would offer you. If you look closely, the band, Yeasayer references Reagan so there’s a little something for you. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? Now get up, dance, and clap like seals.

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Today’s model emailed me a few minutes ago to inform me that she’s deeply, deeply, in love with this blog and honored to be featured here. Sure, it was mostly legal stuff about keeping a distance of 1000 feet, but I know how to read between the lines. Please smooth out your eyebrows, hitch up your overalls, and pick the tobacco from your teeth to welcome Viola Bailey!!!!!!!!!

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Big Berb Friday!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!

Herro. I’m speaking Chinese now and going to meet our new overlords next month. I’m going to bring a picture of Wiser and me and tell everyone that I know Bill Clinton. I’m also going to eat lizard dusted pig face with a light, foamy spider leg reduction with a big bottle of grapefruit Shasta. It’s what they like, according to a book I’ve been reading about Chinese culture, “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.”

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I wrote this song for Victoria LeGrand a few years ago during a drug fueled… You know I’m going to admit something here; I didn’t really write all of the songs that I’ve claimed to. But this isn’t like the time I posted a super hot trans dude and fooled you idiots into thinking he was a girl. These lies were for the simple pleasure of making you weirdos lust after she cock. No wait…that was still the tranny. These lies were about artistic expression. Big titties and veiny wiener art. Nope, still tranny. Welp, looking back on all of my lies, I guess I’m just a liar. A Brazilian barely legal butt licking frottage obsessed liar.

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Today’s model does not have a penis, does not top, and will not slap you in the face with her girl meat if you’re into that sort of thing. I swear to god with my hand on a stack of giant, lady boner bibles that Ann Denise does not have a ding-a-ling. Swearsies.

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A Crazy Ride

The Hostages, Giffffffyyyyyyy

You’ll poke your eye out, kid.

 

F for F-fort

Here’s some bullshit I thought was funny for you to ignore while you talk about being angry about pirates buggering each other on a teevee show or something in the comments. Enjoy!
 

 

 

 
You should actually pay attention to this because this band kicks ass.
 

 
Oh, and these guys, too.