Story of the Meme

BBF

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

Your model for today was born June 9th, 1996 in The United Kingdom. She stands 5′ 6″ and measures 34 – 24 – 35 and 126 lbs. Please zoom in on Miss Scarlett Jones.

BBF

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

Your model for today was born May 19th, 1998 in Odessa, Ukraine. She stands 5′ 7″ and measures 36 – 24 – 35 and 115 lbs. Please welcome Miss Stella Cardo.

BBF

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

Your model for today was born March 6th, 1996 in Brampton, Ontario, Canada. She stands 5′ 7″ and measures 37 – 22 – 35 and 128 lbs. Please honk for Miss Malaika Terry.

Upside Down Again

Well here we are in silly season again where the corporate media tell us that a 70 year old woman who shops at Forvever 21 is a fashion icon.

Do they ever get tired of carrying water for the loser left and their late middle aged, childless, over the hill bosses?

Spoiler: no, they don’t.

What makes me laugh is that they had an actual fashion icon, a model, and a truly beautifully exotic woman in the whitehouse for 4 years and they decided she was ugly, didn’t know how to dress, and was pedestrian. If you stretch it back an administration the garbage media told us that a mannish linebacker who shops at J Crew (so white!) was the black Helen of Troy. What a joke. Jill and Michelle Obama are slobs. Melania is Aphrodite reborn.

MJ: I won’t let you down, I will not give you up. Media: All we have to do now, is take these lies and make them true somehow.

Down the Rabbit Hole

I always think man, the people on You-tube used to be so creative. Remember when it first started how amazing it was? Yeah…see this video? How exciting is THIS?!?!?! The first back flip on You-tube

The first video I ever sent to Merv.

I’d like to thank lauraw for introducing me to this work of art…I believe it is part of the reason Merv fell madly in love with me……….three years after I showed him the video, but really…who’s counting?

The first cat video on You-tube……and as we all know, the Internet was created for cat and dog videos…..I’m pretty sure all videos uploaded to You-tube in 2005 were filmed with a potato.

Cybergoon squad…….the very first “weird side of You-tube” video.

And last, but not least, the VERY first video uploaded to You-tube by one of the founders enjoying his time at the zoo….my guess is, this guy is probably a rich mofo.

Also, it’s entirely possible I sprained my finger picking categories. I might die. I’ll miss you all.

You Gotta Be Shittin’ Me

Ode To The Ham Sandwich

As we have often heard and most people know (mainly from the TV genre known as “police procedurals“), a grand jury will indict a ham sandwich. Fewer people know WTH a grand jury is much less what indict means. Where we all can find common ground is in the ham sandwich. Let’s meet the players

Shout out to Lithuanian Dark Rye Bread! Zajabis!

Watermelon Douche Chills

Gather round my friends and lend an ear, there’s a tale needs to be told. This is the abridged version. For the complete story you’ll need to pony up 50 cent to my publisher.

You see, there was once a man, so big he shook the ground with each mighty step. For a snack he’d eat an entire ox and pick the gristle from his big-as-a-surfboard teeth with the ox horns.

You Are An Asshole

Do me a favor, would you? Go into the bathroom or your bedroom or look down at your shoe and give yourself a long look in the mirror. Try to look a little disappointed, and say this out loud, ‘I will never be a as good of a person as Lauraw. Not if I invented a time machine and prevented Barak Hussein Obama from becoming president. Not if I found and convinced Mila Kunis to spend an evening with MJ. Not if I opened a weed farm and put MJ in charge of quality control. There is nothing I can do to be funnier or more thoughtful that Lauraw.

Then punch yourself in the balls/vag.

Behold, the Deadmaublanket5.