1. Central Illinois has remained flat and cold. No change in the weather or geography.
2. Putting on pants for church instead of wearing jeans like everyone else will result in the numerous insect bites on your ass. God provides humility at all times.
3. The ending of Breaking Bad was awesome. If you disagree, please explain in the comments. Also, you’re an ijit.
4. Why is that when you leave your house for a week, you always expect that it will be burned down or something?
5. Throw away bouquets of flowers before you leave. They smell like a really big fart after a week, or so I’ve heard.
6. Badfinger is a terrible name for a band, but they’re pretty good at the music thing.
7. Remember to turn off the comment thingy on your phone before you hand it to your 17 year old niece to play Candy Crush, because she WILL read aloud to the entire room, “MCPO Airdale on BBF, Girls and Guns….”
8. This is what my mom and dad look like online.
9. Kids grow up fast, but you all know that already.
10. I can’t think of a number 10, so here’s a super hot girl gif.
Let’s see what’s in the funneh folder for today.
Could this be a play on words to suggest girls with large mammary glands? Could it be literally, girls with guns? The answer is below the fold. You’ll just have to ‘continue fapping,’ to find out.
I hope you all had a loverly Christmas and got all of the gifts you wanted. It is cold in Illinois, and the hat that I received from my secret santa has been quite useful. So far, no one has noticed that reindeer humping, which has been kind of fun. Either that or they’re being polite. I’m going to guess it’s the former, not the latter.
Please to be enjoying some Metric:
Thank you to all you wonderful Hostages for letting me spend another year as a part of your lives, your ups and downs, challenges and triumphs.
I can’t think of a single day this past year when at least one of you cretins hasn’t brought a smile to my face.
Happy Christmas Eve, y’all. We got some snow this morning that just might stick around for a while. White Christmas!
Greetings, fellow revelers who — like me — are probably working this week. Upsides: your office is probably mostly empty, so this is almost certainly your best chance to photocopy your tush this year. Downsides: if your hiney breaks the copier and you get stuck, you might be there awhile.
Speaking of hineys…