Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican.
American upper-middle-class culture (where the opportunities are) is now laced with cultural signifiers that are completely illegible unless you happen to have grown up in this class. They play on the normal human fear of humiliation and exclusion. Their chief message is, “You are not welcome here.”
Scott and LauraW continue their vacation. Beasn continues the home improvement project from hell.
After five years out I’ve started to get recruitment letters asking me if I want to apply for a commission in the Army Reserve. They must be truly desperate for people.
Leon is busy denouncing the moral degredation of today’s youth. Car in, meanwhile, has had enough of your shit. Perhaps she shouldn’t have sent Ethan to Jimbro to get his surgery. MJ’s busy trying to keep the spice in his marriage.
This pretty much sums up how I feel most days. But then I realize that I have you assholes as my fake internet friends, and everything is going to be alright.
I’m going to share a secret with you folks. Pictured below is the GREATEST garden hand tool I’ve ever owned.
Big words, I know – but this has changed my life. And because I love you all so very much (except MJ) I’m going to share this valuable knowledge with you.
This is it:
BEHOLD IT’S BEAUTY. $33 on Amazon, but I got it cheaper at Meijer a few weeks back.
You’re welcome, everyone.
Here’s an old song I’ve been listening to lately – THANK YOU TURBO.
