Hello champagne drinkers, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.
Your model for today was born on September 3rd, 1996 in Chicago, Illinois. She does teh pron and has really pretty eyes. 5’5″ tall, 34D-24-35, please think things through and welcome, Miss Lana Rhoades!
Right here: 
Or, if you’re not the social type, here, off by yourself:
Pay no attention to the fact that the deck currently has no rails. That has NOTHING to do with the plans for MJ’s “disappearance”. We’re ordering the wire this week, and hopefully that will be rectified.
Perhaps you’d want to zip around the lake on one of our jet skis!!! For the low, low price of a glass of wine paid to me, this can happen.
My crack mechanic (#2 son Matt) is at work getting them in top condition as I write:
We have TOP NOTCH accommodations here at Chez Car in and this can be had at a very reasonable rate *
*again a nice hearty glass of wine, and whoever needs it/asks first
I got a bunch of these cool light things for the deck, but I haven’t figured out how exactly I’m going to put them up:
I may try something new while I have guests, and as soon as I figure what this guy is saying I’ll try to whip some of this up. I don’t know how many more times I’m going to have to watch it …
There’s sure to be some awesome music on the deck too as I give everyone a very complete presentation of what’s currently rotating on my playlist.
And don’t forget the real reason for coming to Lapeerpalooza …
He’s dirty.
He’s smelly.
But he’s 155 pounds of pure love. Let’s all have a nice round of applause for MOOOOOOSE.
(not actual size – this is from last year)
Well, i don’t know what the heck else I can do to convince everyone?
Maybe this – one last picture of moose:
Hello astronauts, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.
Your model was born June 23rd, 1996 in Jihlava, Czech Republic. She stands 5’6″, 34DD-23-34 and 110lbs. Please step-up and welcome, Miss Marketa Pechova! (AKA Cikita Pechová, Cikita, Chikita, Chiquita, Marketa P., Magdalene, Cecilia, Cheyenne, Tchikita, Janine, Karina Myerson, Destiny Scott).
WAKEY WAKEY.
Sorry that my promised, and highly anticipated poat is more of an afternoon delight, but I had shit to do.
Mostly, I had to purchase QOTSA Cats fucking in a closet tickets. And I got AWESOME seats. Aren’t you all excited?
Whatever bitches.
Hello students, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.
God I love that song.
Me: Big boat deluxe, big boat denied
Google Play: Big boat devolves, big boat deny
Lyrics A-Z: Big broken love, big broken knives
Revolve Lyrics: Big boat deloves, big boat denies
Your model was born in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on February 5th, 1991, and currently resides in Los Angeles, California. She stands 5′8″, 110lbs and 34C-24-34 on the nevergonnahappen scale. Please stop ignoring the pussy and welcome, Miss Ellie Gonsalves!
A new building across the street from us is now finished and people are moving in. The neighbors in our building have been really nice, mind their own business (except a Mrs. kravitz like lady two doors down, she gets a pass because she is the neighborhood watch lady), are friendly and by all appearances normal.
Yesterday while my husband and I were loading kayaks onto our truck in front of our place a new neighbor lady comes over, we introduce ourselves and she asks where we like to kayak. I told her about a few spots, then she immediately starts telling me about another new neighbor who closed just two hours ago….
Part 2
Before I tell you what she said about the neighbor who just closed, I will describe this lady. She is short and has very wild and wiry gray hair. I think she’s my age or younger but looks older (at least my husband thought so). Walks fast like she’s on a mission. She had kind of strange lisp (I AM NOT MAKING FUN OF THAT, JUST PAINTING A PICTURE) and talked very fast, so I had to concentrate.
In a 4 minute conversation she said that the neighbor who just closed was visiting his place on New Years Day and when he saw her (they had never met) he introduced himself and then wanted to give her a New Years Hug and kiss. She put her hand out (she demonstrated) and said, “No, I can’t, I have strep throat!” I said, not understanding at first, “Yes, strep is going around.” Then she said, “No, he was just weird.” I said, “Ahhh, thanks for the heads up!” She then goes on to tell me during that same conversation with this guy he says, “My bank is closed and I need cash, can I write you a check?” She says, “I don’t think so!”
She then looked at the kayaks and says, “We have 2 but I told my husband he can’t get a boat until he sells his dirt bike, motorcycle, and his other toys!” I said, “You’re very prudent.” I’m not sure why she told me but whatever. She left and my husband looked at me and said “What just happened?” and I said, “I’ll tell you in the car.”
Next episode, I meet the neighbor who had just closed two hours ago…
Part 3
Now, not 5 minutes after the lady neighbor left (Jill) (Oh, and when she said her name and her husband’s, Jill and Bill she said, “We’re the new Jack and Jill!” I dutifully chuckled and coughed), my other new neighbor (whose name I think is Jim, when I just asked my husband he said, “I have no idea I’ve already flushed it.”) Anyhoo, he sees me with the kayaks and almost runs over and says loudly, before even giving his name, “I JUST CLOSED TWO HOURS AGO!!” I said, “congratulations and welcome.” I put my hand out and said, “My name is Mare (cough), nice to meet you.” my husband walks out, introduces himself and he said, and I’m not kidding at all….
“My name is Jim and I’ve had a hell of a year, just crazy. I’m from a place just north of Orlando. I had a nervous breakdown a few months ago because I was getting a divorce. My wife wasn’t meeting my needs. It took 3 months to change my loan and get to closing. I have only a new dinning set I bought at Ashley furniture and two boxes of clothes. Are you going to the party tomorrow and I have a kayak and where is a good place to launch?”I said, “So sorry to hear that, you really are starting out fresh, and I like to go to Maximo park.”We get in the truck and my husband says, “We’ve been so fortunate with neighbor’s I’m not sure how this is going to work out.” And when I told him about the hugging and check cashing he said, “We need to build a wall down the middle of the street.”
So now that Roamie has met Mare and disappeared forever, I guess I’ll have to fill in with a Saturday Poat.
Lets see what I can find in the auxiliary funny folder:
Here is the Christmasy Part
The part for Leon
And finally
*UPDATE- Must Credit Pupster*
Also, I need a tie-breaking vote on the previous poat to determine a winner, I’ll leave the poll open for now. Go vote if you haven’t yet you filthy animals.
The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
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