Ode To The Ham Sandwich

As we have often heard and most people know (mainly from the TV genre known as “police procedurals“), a grand jury will indict a ham sandwich. Fewer people know WTH a grand jury is much less what indict means. Where we all can find common ground is in the ham sandwich. Let’s meet the players

pains

Shout out to Lithuanian Dark Rye Bread! Zajabis!

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Thorsday Substitute Poat

Since Jimbro is off in the mountains receiving a heavy load from some shady contractor, I’ve agreed to put up a poat.  The old one was smelling worse than your mom after Fleet Week.  We haven’t had a rip-roaring, honest-to-God hurt feelings fight on this blog in far too long, so let’s talk about music.

So, I’m about two weeks out from leaving my job, and by the time you read this I will hopefully have an offer for a new job outside of California.  Even if I don’t, I’m still leaving this state.  And that means one thing… ROADTRIP!  For the past nine months I’ve driven 45-75 minutes each way up to Santa Barbara each day for work.  Obviously, spending that much time on the road means listening to the radio a lot.  Thank the gods for Pandora, and Youtube on my phone.  So I thought I’d put together a list of some of my favorite songs to listen to while driving.  I decided to limit it to ten songs, about what I used to burn on a CD before a long road-trip.  Obviously there are others, but if I had to pick ten to listen to for a couple of hours in parts of the country where the only radio stations are messican polka and the baptist station... the mixture below would be my top choice. Yeah, some of them are covers, but they’re better than the originals for keeping me awake and focused while on the road.

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BBF

Hello two for ones, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

 

Your model for today was floated by Jimbro, she is a talented pianist and composer, born July 3rd, 1985 in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. Please slow your roll and say hello to Miss Lola Astanova!

 

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Emergency Thursday Poat

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Since the usual suspects were not available, I’ll go ahead and put up a poat that’s fresher than your mom after fleet week.  Content will be minimal, a sampler of themes from the rest of the week.

We’ve got well-formed glutes and poorly-tucked penii. *check*

How about some hard-bodied pretty-boys? *check*

Bore, God of Blunder? *Check* and *Check*

And titties and a vacant stare. *Check*  I’m not sure if she’s been featured before, and I’m too lazy to ask.

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You know what today is?!?

I think these were named after Hostages!

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Big Berb Friday!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!

Herro. I’m speaking Chinese now and going to meet our new overlords next month. I’m going to bring a picture of Wiser and me and tell everyone that I know Bill Clinton. I’m also going to eat lizard dusted pig face with a light, foamy spider leg reduction with a big bottle of grapefruit Shasta. It’s what they like, according to a book I’ve been reading about Chinese culture, “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

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I wrote this song for Victoria LeGrand a few years ago during a drug fueled… You know I’m going to admit something here; I didn’t really write all of the songs that I’ve claimed to. But this isn’t like the time I posted a super hot trans dude and fooled you idiots into thinking he was a girl. These lies were for the simple pleasure of making you weirdos lust after she cock. No wait…that was still the tranny. These lies were about artistic expression. Big titties and veiny wiener art. Nope, still tranny. Welp, looking back on all of my lies, I guess I’m just a liar. A Brazilian barely legal butt licking frottage obsessed liar.

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Today’s model does not have a penis, does not top, and will not slap you in the face with her girl meat if you’re into that sort of thing. I swear to god with my hand on a stack of giant, lady boner bibles that Ann Denise does not have a ding-a-ling. Swearsies.

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