Thorsday Substitute Poat

Since Jimbro is off in the mountains receiving a heavy load from some shady contractor, I’ve agreed to put up a poat.  The old one was smelling worse than your mom after Fleet Week.  We haven’t had a rip-roaring, honest-to-God hurt feelings fight on this blog in far too long, so let’s talk about music.

So, I’m about two weeks out from leaving my job, and by the time you read this I will hopefully have an offer for a new job outside of California.  Even if I don’t, I’m still leaving this state.  And that means one thing… ROADTRIP!  For the past nine months I’ve driven 45-75 minutes each way up to Santa Barbara each day for work.  Obviously, spending that much time on the road means listening to the radio a lot.  Thank the gods for Pandora, and Youtube on my phone.  So I thought I’d put together a list of some of my favorite songs to listen to while driving.  I decided to limit it to ten songs, about what I used to burn on a CD before a long road-trip.  Obviously there are others, but if I had to pick ten to listen to for a couple of hours in parts of the country where the only radio stations are messican polka and the baptist station... the mixture below would be my top choice. Yeah, some of them are covers, but they’re better than the originals for keeping me awake and focused while on the road.

BBF

Hello two for ones, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

 

Your model for today was floated by Jimbro, she is a talented pianist and composer, born July 3rd, 1985 in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. Please slow your roll and say hello to Miss Lola Astanova!

 

Emergency Thursday Poat

Since the usual suspects were not available, I’ll go ahead and put up a poat that’s fresher than your mom after fleet week.  Content will be minimal, a sampler of themes from the rest of the week.

We’ve got well-formed glutes and poorly-tucked penii. *check*

How about some hard-bodied pretty-boys? *check*

Bore, God of Blunder? *Check* and *Check*

And titties and a vacant stare. *Check*  I’m not sure if she’s been featured before, and I’m too lazy to ask.

Who Dat? Not My Preznit!

As I’m sure you are all aware president Obama is set to make his big comeback to the US and public life after pretending to write his memoirs on a mega yacht with Oprah and Tom Hanks (WILSON!!!!!!!). Here’s an excerpt of his first draft that will be later turned into dramatic prose by a little known college professor and spontaneous combustion enthusiast. 

Chapter 1

Barack’s version: Sat down to watch a rerun of SportCenter at 11 after calling SlowJoe and a quick workout with Mooch. Fell asleep. Woke up during the nooner of SC just in time to see Venus Williams winning some white shit tourney for the third time. Man, what an ass. I’d like to put a Mike Tyson mask on her and lay into them hindquarters. Trump sucks! San Demus High School rules!

Ayers version: Five Nine score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.

Speaking of C**ts

So funny I bust my felt wiiiiiiddddeee open.

Upon Which We Proclaim Our Joy for The C**t’s Demise

 

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Added, cuz it’s freakin hilarious!

The Day After The Shirtless Males Post

This is a half-assed post for today. The whole-assed masterpiece is tomorrow. There will be some early bewbs for your enjoyment.

You know what today is?!?

I think these were named after Hostages!

Big Berb Friday!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!

Herro. I’m speaking Chinese now and going to meet our new overlords next month. I’m going to bring a picture of Wiser and me and tell everyone that I know Bill Clinton. I’m also going to eat lizard dusted pig face with a light, foamy spider leg reduction with a big bottle of grapefruit Shasta. It’s what they like, according to a book I’ve been reading about Chinese culture, “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.”

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I wrote this song for Victoria LeGrand a few years ago during a drug fueled… You know I’m going to admit something here; I didn’t really write all of the songs that I’ve claimed to. But this isn’t like the time I posted a super hot trans dude and fooled you idiots into thinking he was a girl. These lies were for the simple pleasure of making you weirdos lust after she cock. No wait…that was still the tranny. These lies were about artistic expression. Big titties and veiny wiener art. Nope, still tranny. Welp, looking back on all of my lies, I guess I’m just a liar. A Brazilian barely legal butt licking frottage obsessed liar.

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Today’s model does not have a penis, does not top, and will not slap you in the face with her girl meat if you’re into that sort of thing. I swear to god with my hand on a stack of giant, lady boner bibles that Ann Denise does not have a ding-a-ling. Swearsies.

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MMM 174: New Wagon Edition

Hi folks. So Sunday was busy for me. Church, trip to Tractor Supply, built my new 1000lb-capacity “utility cart” (big green wagon), and painted about 1/3 of the baby’s room. I did manage to eat two (2!) solid meals today, though they were very soft food and I had to chew them only on the right side of my mouth. Anyhow, I can’t wait to get back to work so I can relax!

Did you there are competitions in bikini? Like, it’s a skill ‘n’ stuff.