Monday Motivational Mumbo-Jumbo

Soooo, all summer, I had “events” to train for, and dieting just wasn’t on my mind .   But now … there is not really anything on the horizon- no big challenges, etc. No excuses.

So  I stepped on the scale and this is what I saw:

 

4287465-a-scale-with-two-feet-of-the-person-standing-on-it-on-a-wooden-floor-the-scale-says--too-much

I’d like to drop about 15 pounds, so today is the first day of the rest of my … bla bla bla.

Onto the “motivational” pictures.

What do we have in the “binders” today… oh, lookie here …

Fat women:

th

 

Fat man:

I_578bca_781411

 

Fat Cat:

th-1

 

Fat Dog:

th-2

Fat mouse:

th-3

 

Fat horse:

5c2ff6042c735df4b7e08e9027b1a751

 

Fat Patrick Star:

enhanced-buzz-5666-1379190163-9

 

I think I’ve illustrated the “fat” point pretty well. But WHAT diet to do? This one looks nice:

 

chinese_diet

 

Ten pounds in a week? Sign me up. Week and a half, and I’d be DONE.  I can’t find any information on it, so if anyone knows the ancient Chinese secret to losing 10 pounds in a week, drop me a line.

Then there is  Eat All You Want Diet , which speaks to me on a spiritual level.  You are supposed  to read your body’s cues about what you need to eat, and how much, etc. Which … I’m pretty sure is how most of us ended up in the shape we’re in.

Or perhaps the Skinny Bitch Diet?

In essence this is an extreme vegan diet that describes meat as ‘dead, rotting, decomposing flesh’. The list of forbidden foods includes all animal products (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy), refined flour, sugar, honey, beer, caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) and any food that contains chemical additives like artificial sweeteners. “Sugar is the devil and artificial sweeteners just as bad” they state.

Sounds like FUN!

I think the worst diet that I’ve actually known people to try is the “egg diet”.  I probably rolled my eyes the last time someone told me there were going on this diet.  LOSE 24 POUNDS in 14 DAYS!!!

Awesome, right?

How does it work? Well, this is basically what you eat:

Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and 1 citric fruit.
-Lunch: 2 slices of bread and some fruit.
-Dinner: a bowl of salad and chicken.

 

…for two weeks.  Someone try it and let me know how it goes.

I’m going to just do the boring “count macros, eat less, work-out ” thing.   Mare is encouraged to call me a fat-ass until I reach my goal-ish range.   Macrostax is the program I’m using (it’s just an app) and I’ll up my running while I can, and continue with crossfit.

 

 

You’re all Tools

 

So, last Friday was Toolday: the day Tool fans from all around the world had waited 13 long years to arrive.  The. New. Album.  And some people just walked around like it was a normal day.   Oblivious to it’s greatness.

Behold the “unboxing”   of the limited edition. Yes, I have it. Unlike everyone else who didn’t pre-order.

 

Continue reading

Hotspur Meets His Match

In the sad wake of Notre Dame burning yesterday, I mentioned getting engaged there. Oso said she enjoyed hearing it, but that was only a tiny part of the story.

Here I will tell a complete version of my history. I will start at the beginning.

In January of 2000, a close friend of mine, Rick, invited me to an “Ignore The Super Bowl Party.” The idea was to keep the sound off during the game so everyone could chat, then turn it on during the commercials, so everyone could laugh. That was back in the days of the Dotcom bubble, and the commercials were hilarious.

During the week before the game, if Rick asked me once, he asked me five times if I was coming on Sunday. I told him yes each time. But when Sunday came I really didn’t want to go, but I thought, “Fuck, I told him five times I was coming. I’ll just go and stay for a drink and say I have to get up early in the morning, then leave early.”

So I went.

Continue reading

Beasts

All kinds of fantastic animals

1.2 billion views….  no idea who that is.

https://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2019/04/25eb8-brazilian2btree2bhopper.jpg Continue reading

BBF – My Way

I know you are still recovering from my BBF poat of several years ago, but you didn’t revoke my keys to the blahg so I live for another day.

I’m not doing your usual Titsianna Gigglioni, bed dusting, veiny tits, stretch marks model. Instead Ima put you guys some knowledge.

First of all on this day in history:

1242 – Russian troops repelled an invasion attempt by the Teutonic Knights. 

1614 – American Indian Pocahontas married English colonist John Rolfe in Virginia. 

1621 – The Mayflower sailed from Plymouth, MA, on a return trip to England.  

1792 – U.S. President George Washington cast the first presidential veto. The measure was for apportioning representatives among the states. 

1843 – Queen Victoria proclaimed Hong Kong to be a British crown colony. 

1887 – Anne Sullivan taught Helen Keller the meaning of the word “water” as spelled out in the manual alphabet. 

1895 – Playwright Oscar Wilde lost his criminal libel case against the Marquess of Queensberry. Wilde had been accused of homosexual practices. 

1908 – The Japanese Army reached the Yalu River as the Russians retreated. 

1923 – Firestone Tire and Rubber Company began the first regular production of balloon tires. 

1930 – Mahatma Ghandi defied British law by making salt in India. 

1941 – German commandos secured docks along the Danube River in preparation for Germany’s invasion of the Balkans. 

1951 – Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death for committing espionage for the Soviet Union

1953 – Jomo Kenyatta was convicted and sentenced to 7 years in prison for orchestrating the Mau-Mau rebellion in Kenya

1955 – Winston Churchill resigned as British prime minister. 

1984 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Los Angeles Lakers) became the all-time NBA regular season scoring leader when he broke Wilt Chamberlain’s record of 31,419 career points. 

1985 – John McEnroe said “any man can beat any woman at any sport, especially tennis.” 

1989 – In Poland, accords were signed between Solidarity and the government that set free elections for June 1989. The eight-year ban on Solidarity was also set to be lifted. 

1999 – In Laramie, WY, Russell Henderson pled guilty to kidnapping and felony murder in the death of Matthew Shepard

2004 – Near Mexico City’s international airport, lightning struck the jet Mexican President Vicente Fox was on. 

2009 – North Korea launched the Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket, prompting an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council. 

Continue reading

No Rush

MJ says today’s brystals will be of the noon-ish flavor.

So you swine will have to wait a lil’ while.

 

Here’s some inspirational posters to help you along.

 

heteroclite

The weirdest stuff cracks me up. My sig-ot is used to my bizarreness and makes sure to steer me out of the way of unsuspecting people when we’re out and about and I’m feeling plucky.

Cubic Houses (Rotterdam, Netherlands) I recommend checking them out when you’re in the netherregion smoking dope with phat

I’ve seen this place a few times. I like the netherlands. The ppl are friendly, the beer is good, and hookers.

Continue reading

BBF

Hello packmates, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

 

 

Your model for today was born October 3rd, 1993 in Berlin, Germany. She stands 5’10”, 38E-26-39. Please reach out and say Achtung Baby to Miss Leila Lowfire.

 

Continue reading

You really should go do something more meaningful than read this pos post

Things mawr meaningful:

meaningful-use-stage-3-first-look

 

How about taking up knitting:

Continue reading