Memegrass

Today, we have a new music category!

I may not survive to write more posts, so enjoy it while you can!

Proof That God Loves Trump: The Women in His Life

I don’t care how fat, purple haired, and poorly tattooed you are…if you don’t think Melania Trump is beautiful, there’s something wrong with your brain. Everyone pretended to love and was eerily forced to affirm that Moochelle was radiant and smart while neither were really true. She’s a dog and everyone  knows it. Melania, on the other paw, is intelligent, well spoken, and fiercely protective of her family. She has class, which we sorely need.

Proof that god loves Trump: Melania

 

A sarcastic or vengeful god would have given Trump a more Chelsea-esque daughter to mock his obvious love of himself. But instead, our benevolent creator granted him with not one, but two lovely female offspring. Ivanka and Tiffany are warm, funny, intelligent, and dedicated to their families. They don’t need a PR campaign or obviously fake attempts to appear as insert-consultant-generated-words-to-convey-humanity-here to their fellow countrymen. And they both look good in leather pants, which is more than we can say for Chubble.

Proof that God loves Trump: His daughters

And lastly, there is no greater gift to a politician than a good foil. As I’ve often said, there’s only one person that Trump could have beaten to become President, and there’s only one person that Hillary could have lost to. No matter the situation, she appears robotic, tone deaf, scripted, and always attempts to lie when the simple truth will do. Dropped something on your foot or stubbed a toe? Nope! She was running down the stairs, coffee cup in hand, shouting important orders to an unnamed underling. Pass out and get chucked into van like a side of beef? She’s just fine! It’s a lovely Spring day and why look here! A random child to hug which will make a splashy picture! She’s so strong and brave to stand upright in this unrelenting 68 degree heat!

Hillary is a Christmas nightmare. The terrible gift that just keeps giving.

Proof that God loves Trump: Hillary Rodham Clinton

Enemies of the State

Speaking of C**ts

So funny I bust my felt wiiiiiiddddeee open.

MMM 201: Working on my dad bod

I’m getting fat. Not making/getting time for the gym, barely eating right, not getting enough sleep, and I turn 40 next week. Fatherhood and this whole “driving to work” thing is killing me. The former is worth it, the latter is not. I need motivation this week, and lots of it.

Also sleep. And some steak. And less alcohol. And like a hundred pullups.

Stones fan?

MMM 200: Fallout 4 ate my Day Edition

I miss you all.  No time to write before I have to be in bed so I can sleep really fast and get up early to get a few hours on the clock at the office  before my wife has to go to a dental appointment and I have to hang out with Li’l Possum for the afternoon. This is the 200th MMM poat — believe it or else — so I should really have done something auspicious.  I didn’t.

So, pictures!  First, a triptych.

Big Tooth Thorsday

We got a lot of rain yesterday and the weather (nsfw) finally turned fall-like. I blame the Blood Moon. I took a couple of days off to get my upper wisdom teeth removed as well as getting a crack in my tooth repaired. It was the old bait and switch. The crack in my tooth near a filling has been driving me batshit crazy over the past month or two. The wisdom teeth were just hanging out there bothering no one except the dentists thinking about the sweet extraction money they were passing up on an insured patient. Really, I’ve been hearing that those teeth would need to be pulled “someday” for the past 30 years or so. Turns out the wisdom teeth came out and it was too bloody to do the filling repair for my cracked tooth. I’ll be back.