Winter Wonderland

Yes, snow sucks for anyone past high school age. When you were a kid and woke up to snow falling there was a chance of either no school or you had been kidnapped and taken to Siberia by Russian Eskimo Ninjas. Nowadays with all the global warming crap out there the Siberians are more likely to be injured by falling coconuts than hoarfrost. Anyway, thinking about the run up to Christmas from a childlike perspective, it was critically important that there be snow on the ground for Santa’s sleigh. Those poor bastards in SoCal and Florida made the reindeer drag the sled on asphalt roads which really slowed Saint Nick down (#Santa’s Ragnar).

One of my favorite Christmas songs. Shane MacGowan has cleaned up (I think), got a dental rehab and dentures and still performs. Sadly Kirsty MacColl died in an accident. The lyrics are mostly unintelligible without the prompts at least for me. Anyway, I like how the Spirit of Christmas shines through the obvious misery of the singers which is my interpretation of the song.

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Happy Thanksgiving

Hello assorted Hostages, lurkers, lackeys, hangers-on, cretins and other assorted turkey taints! By now most of the family either has or soon will assemble for one of the most hallowed days of football this year. There’s nothing more heartwarming than Cleveland Browns fans thinking they’re going to the Super Bowl. So grab the clam dip and Ruffles chips and scroll on down to be delighted.

rockwell-thanksgiving-parody-01

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Meme Floyd

In honor of al Baghdadi’s pursuer going back to work yesterday

 

iLikeYourPrideShirt

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Summer’s Swan Song

Here it is, the unofficial end of summer. If your kids aren’t already back to school they’ll be there soon. Visions of paste and sharpened #2 pencils fill our heads. It already  feels a little like fall here. Nights are cooler and the humidity is long gone. When I went to the grocery store I saw the mums and Halloween candy out. Even the national burnt coffee chain has rolled out the PSL before Labor Day. We’ll probably have another heat wave or two before fall begins in earnest. I wish someone would let the ticks and mosquitoes know it’s time to go away.

corn-sept

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Black Betty, err, meme, whatever…

Let’s light this candle!

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Enjoy Summer

stoningtons-bounty-of-summer

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A Momentous Tragedy has Befallen Us

There has been an event that cannot go unmentioned. One that will betray the trust we all put into one of America’s greatest institutions.

I was carrying out one of the greatest pleasures that all Americans enjoy all too often. A task where we celebrate the labors of our fellow Americans at the pinnacle of their everyday efforts. Something everyone can be proud of, something everyone does without much thought, but the impact of which will reach down to the core of the self. Such a delightful experience, with a beautiful globally warmed environment keeping my temperature at an elevated level.

After arriving home from my enlightened journey through the aisles of one of America’s greatest institutions, I was unaware of the events about to unfold. I let my guard down. I relaxed. I was not at the peak of my abilities. this made the tragedy that much more astounding.

It was during the preparations for the upcoming week that the full effect of events would hit me like a ton of bricks. I held aloft the sword of Damocles, ready to dispatch an unsuspecting victim to the list of accomplishments that must be completed to fulfill the week, when I witnessed the unfolding of the tragedy to befall all tragedies.

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Don’t You Forget About Meme

 

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