WAKEY WAKEY.
Sorry that my promised, and highly anticipated poat is more of an afternoon delight, but I had shit to do.
Mostly, I had to purchase QOTSA Cats fucking in a closet tickets. And I got AWESOME seats. Aren’t you all excited?
Whatever bitches.
I got some things in the mail recently. You gotta see these. First, MJ sent me a graduation present.
I’m going to share a secret with you folks. Pictured below is the GREATEST garden hand tool I’ve ever owned.
Big words, I know – but this has changed my life. And because I love you all so very much (except MJ) I’m going to share this valuable knowledge with you.
This is it:
BEHOLD IT’S BEAUTY. $33 on Amazon, but I got it cheaper at Meijer a few weeks back.
You’re welcome, everyone.
Here’s an old song I’ve been listening to lately – THANK YOU TURBO.
Carry on fine people.
Like a drunk American college student in Thailand, I accepted the internet’s word that the above title means Thursday in Russian and that hooker really was a chick. I just hope I don’t find out years later четверг means “Bite The Wax Tadpole” or something worse. Ever since the wee hours of the morning of November 9th, the 1980’s have been calling America nonstop and they want their foreign policy back. I figure it’s high time we learn some Russki culture.
That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.
So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.
The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.
So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’
Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.
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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!
So here we are, 100 days into the glorious reign of the God Emperor Donaldus Trump II.
Is America great again? No, but its early. Like you, my patience is about as thin as Mare’s Whoreday panties and I do not trust a single person that is connected to Washington DC.
The Bad
Repeal/Replace–May the RINOs of the senate be rushed to the ER with a lightbulb stuck in their collective asses. Upon removal they may find a bright idea, such as repeal/replace. It’s not complicated, assholes.
The budget–May the Freedom Caucus step on their dicks with golf shoes for having the temerity to sink repeal/replace only to turn around and fund PP for the rest of the fiscal year.
The Good
Border crossings are down 70+% based solely on a mean look from the based cheeto god. My suggestion is that he get a teardrop tattoo on his cheek then watch the number climb to 90%.
The world seems to think we might be crazy enough to kick ass and drink Diet Coke. They also seem to believe we are running low on Diet Coke.
Serious note–people seem to be more optimistic about the future. I don’t really talk politics much in public but I don’t feel the weight of the pessimism that is being pushed by the media. Things seem good, which may be a reflection on where I live and how life is going, but it really matters when the people at the top are confident of success rather than dead set on decline. We’ve been told to eat our veggies for so long that a delicious taco bowl (we have the best taco bowl’s, don’t we folks?) seems like manna from heaven. It’s just taco Tuesday, but goddamn that seems like a fine idea.
The Ugly
The media and the DNC (Hillary/Obama wing) are pushing some really dangerous shit. The ridiculousness of RUSSIA! and the attempt to subvert a presidency that simply out hustled a terrible politician is going to escalate quickly. And when it does, they’ll blame Trump. They don’t care that people will be hurt, in fact I believe it’s the desired state to wave a bloody shirt.
I’m not really sure who has the ear of the President. I like Ivanka and Jared and I really like the tax plan that was put out but see Mare’s threadbare Whoreday undies referenced above for my trust levels. Jury is out on the D’s in the White House.
Goofy Shit is Endearing. Fuck Being ‘Too Cool’ Like Obama
Tell us what you really think. As long as it conforms to the standards of polite society. And you remain in this designated square.
How about you bugger off with your conditions?
I read a post at a blog called The Daily Gouge Wednesday night…seemed to cover a lot of the same stuff I am in this one, only better than this POS. http://www.thedailygouge.com/ It’s updated a few times per week, you want the Wednesday April 26th edition, either on the front page or the archive up top.
I went to a blacksmithing class on Sunday. It was a letter opener class, and there were only three of us there, which was nice because it made the class fairly leisurely. The instructor showed us the basics of the project, and then turned us loose in the forge while she walked around and offered comments and suggestions. This was the second class that I’ve taken at Adam’s Forge, and I really enjoy it. Hopefully I’ll be able to attend a few open forge nights in the near future.
