I read a post on the mothership and started laughing at a few of the pejorative names that were tossed around and it got me thinking about funny phrases and words. I know what you’re thinking…is this going to be the first in a long line of piscatorial posts or might we venture into a realm unknown?
The answer of course, is why not both? Just kidding. I think we can safely shelve our admiration for fisherman, old men, the sea, and how their bounty is turned into a delicious fried patchwork of amphibious parts. Today we embark upon a mission to call forth our favorite malicious insults.
I boughted this album from a far away place called Germanyland!
Well window lickers it’s time for summer. Down here in the SOUTH (filled with racists, you are issued a hood at the Georgia border) the weather is getting a bit warmer and we are bidding adieu to old man winterspring. Notice how I worked in a reference to de Fuhrer PBUH by using German in that last sentence? That’s how racist we are down here. We speak German, hate cold weather, and are super friendly. I literally have no idea what any of this means. I’m just typing whatever pops into my grey mush.
So, it’s time for sidewalk chalk! A time honored tradition where people go outside with their kids, pretend to hear the phone ring, go back inside to make a drink, then go back outside in about 15 or 20 minutes to make sure the kiddos are still in one piece. While most kids fit more into the impressionist or modern art category, I think I’ve found some rather clever uses of sidewalk chalk for us to enjoy. These fun little pieces of temporary art all use the cracks to make something fun and whimsical.
Lots of bad stuff happening. I think we all look around at the world and can’t really believe this nightmare is reality. Lockdowns. Censorship. Stolen elections. Retribution. Fear. Panic. Violence.
I’m not a very emotional person but when I think of the attempts to silence millions of people in our fair country I’m brought to tears. This is the only reason that I become remotely political. When you strip away all of the issues – judges, tax rates, healthcare, race – all of the bullshit, you’re only left with the divine gift of free expression. Either we have it or we don’t.
The beauty of America is (was – hotspur) the belief that we can work out ideas, discuss difficult issues, fight over them, and ultimately come to conclusions that are objectively true and also moral. If all topics that the Left doesn’t favor or won’t benefit them are off limits then the compact is broken. They are attempting to achieve power by silencing their political opponents, which is just another attempt to reduce the divinity of man and subjugate him.
I always think man, the people on You-tube used to be so creative. Remember when it first started how amazing it was? Yeah…see this video? How exciting is THIS?!?!?! The first back flip on You-tube
The first video I ever sent to Merv.
I’d like to thank lauraw for introducing me to this work of art…I believe it is part of the reason Merv fell madly in love with me……….three years after I showed him the video, but really…who’s counting?
The first cat video on You-tube……and as we all know, the Internet was created for cat and dog videos…..I’m pretty sure all videos uploaded to You-tube in 2005 were filmed with a potato.
Cybergoon squad…….the very first “weird side of You-tube” video.
And last, but not least, the VERY first video uploaded to You-tube by one of the founders enjoying his time at the zoo….my guess is, this guy is probably a rich mofo.
Also, it’s entirely possible I sprained my finger picking categories. I might die. I’ll miss you all.
Do me a favor, would you? Go into the bathroom or your bedroom or look down at your shoe and give yourself a long look in the mirror. Try to look a little disappointed, and say this out loud, ‘I will never be a as good of a person as Lauraw. Not if I invented a time machine and prevented Barak Hussein Obama from becoming president. Not if I found and convinced Mila Kunis to spend an evening with MJ. Not if I opened a weed farm and put MJ in charge of quality control. There is nothing I can do to be funnier or more thoughtful that Lauraw.
I wrote this song whilst thinking about Cyn. If you get a chance, skip to 32:54 and 53:10 for other really good songs that you’ll hate and make fun of me for liking.
A picture, such as this, will have to wait. Elsie must be HELD constantly at this point, and Moose pretty much wants to sniff her all over and over and over. Drooling while he does it.
Not just yet
Here she is. Snuggled up to my leg when I put her on the ground.
She is TINY. Sweet as can be. Snuggles right in really deep.
