Ahh-ite, line up, time to get the weekend kickin’. Pupster took a hike is away smokin’ dope and head bangin’ with his buddies on the left coast working hard. Handing the keys to an unstable person is probably a sign of stress. We may need to put up the H2 emergency signal for the West Coast Cabal to go bail help him out.
It could be all a lot worse if Hillary was in office. Go Donny Two Scoops!
Make it yours –
You know you want to…
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
Sexual Arousal Disorder, Female
You know, I used to absolutely hate poetry. Hated reading it, hated writing it, just generally hated everything about it. I was a prose guy, and I thought there was something silly and frivolous about scribbling thoughts into stanzas and trying to get them to scan and rhyme and all that crap.
Then, something changed. Maybe it was getting sober, though I have no idea why that would have any bearing on this. But over the past few years, I’ve found that there are certain instances where I can best put my thoughts in order by taking up quill and scroll and just churning out some of the old doggerel.
Before we go any further, let’s just get this out of the way here and now:
Okay, now that we’ve dispensed with that (yeah), allow me if you will to emote all over you below:
Remember when Chumpo used to post really interesting things about art? This isn’t it –
So Your Boyfriend BO & Your Girlfriend Mooshel had their pictures done; no offense to the skanky (insert Hotspur word)/ wenches that did them, but DAAAAAAMMMMMn!
So I tried my hand at a truly befitting preznitz-dental portrait :
I think it captures the essence of the oblah-blah years.
I don’t care how fat, purple haired, and poorly tattooed you are…if you don’t think Melania Trump is beautiful, there’s something wrong with your brain. Everyone pretended to love and was eerily forced to affirm that Moochelle was radiant and smart while neither were really true. She’s a dog and everyone knows it. Melania, on the other paw, is intelligent, well spoken, and fiercely protective of her family. She has class, which we sorely need.
Proof that god loves Trump: Melania
A sarcastic or vengeful god would have given Trump a more Chelsea-esque daughter to mock his obvious love of himself. But instead, our benevolent creator granted him with not one, but two lovely female offspring. Ivanka and Tiffany are warm, funny, intelligent, and dedicated to their families. They don’t need a PR campaign or obviously fake attempts to appear as insert-consultant-generated-words-to-convey-humanity-here to their fellow countrymen. And they both look good in leather pants, which is more than we can say for Chubble.
Proof that God loves Trump: His daughters
And lastly, there is no greater gift to a politician than a good foil. As I’ve often said, there’s only one person that Trump could have beaten to become President, and there’s only one person that Hillary could have lost to. No matter the situation, she appears robotic, tone deaf, scripted, and always attempts to lie when the simple truth will do. Dropped something on your foot or stubbed a toe? Nope! She was running down the stairs, coffee cup in hand, shouting important orders to an unnamed underling. Pass out and get chucked into van like a side of beef? She’s just fine! It’s a lovely Spring day and why look here! A random child to hug which will make a splashy picture! She’s so strong and brave to stand upright in this unrelenting 68 degree heat!
Hillary is a Christmas nightmare. The terrible gift that just keeps giving.
Proof that God loves Trump: Hillary Rodham Clinton
Enemies of the State
In Maine I discovered early on that quite a few people have a camp they migrate to in the summer. “Camp” is a term with a wide latitude. It may mean a shack with an outhouse out in the williwacks or an oceanfront mansion next to the Bush clan down in Kennebunkport. Ours is a worn out place built in the 60’s with a living room floor that’s uneven, a plumbing / septic system that gives us fits and hideous wallpaper in the bedrooms. The main attraction? The screened in porch is 10 feet from the water’s edge. It really is beautiful. There are a lot of PITA things we deal with given that our neighbors are just 30 feet away on either side of us but I’ve grown to like the change of pace that our summers give us now. Once the kids head back to school it becomes a challenge to head up for the weekend or even a day. By the time we pack everyone’s crap up, two dogs and their food, buy groceries, etc we’re all frazzled. We’ll see what happens after the kids are moved out.
The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
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