Big Borscht Friday

Russia, Russia, Russia! If I rolled my eyes like I want to, I would be able to see into my brain. It occurred to me a few days ago that my father in law insisted on joining me on a walk last November and started talking about the election. His theory was that Hillary had been harassed for 20 years and there has never been any evidence of a crime so all of the allegations must be bullshit. After I collected my jaw from the ground I muttered something like, ‘so what you’re saying is you have just eaten 10 space cakes and didn’t share any of them?’ Not true, I actually didn’t say anything because I don’t really talk about politics with anyone but my lovable internet family. But I can’t wait to use that line this Thanksgiving–he’ll tell me it doesn’t matter, Trump is actually a Russian spy, and I’ll say something like, ‘so what you’re saying is you’ve just eaten 10 sputnik cakes and didn’t share any of them?’

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Little Known Fact…Stalone invented Zumba

Keeping with our Russian theme, today’s model is from a former Eastern Bloc country or possibly Mother Russia herself. I mean, just look at her. She’s like 5″11, weighs 120 pounds, has tatas bigger than Red Square, and looks like Mr Bean. Please give a warm, stern looking nod of approval to Karin Spalnikova!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!

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Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

RIP Rosetta, The Hardest Working Man on the Tittyweb Jenkins

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Nuance

By now, you’ve already seen this:
 

 
After a number of people pointed out that TFG getting photographed eating ice cream by Tiger Beat kind of isn’t, you know, what Memorial Day is all about, the Dems put up a couple of other tweets. They were a little more appropriate, but instead of, say, a photo of the gravestones at Arlington (admittedly, kind of hard to find), they had inspirational quotes from the Exalted Leader. Of course.
 
Anyway, I thought I’d sample a little bit of what some other political figures were up to on Twitchface this weekend….
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It’s Not What You Think

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Big Boob TITS–A Story of Love, Redemption, and Liver Damage

Good morning repeat customers to the Fappening II, Oprah Poses with Stedman and Gail. I think you are all disgusting pigs for looking at boobs of really hot chicks because I’m a feminist and feminists defend the right for ugly chicks to pretend they are having sex. Which leads me to our second topic: what song did MJ write?

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I guess we could think about the weekend like this: rather than Dave falling into a body of water, The Almighty Hisself was going to recognize TITR by making the body of water fall onto Dave. Blog people, we are going to bear witness to a miracle in the desert…rain. To those of you that couldn’t make it…I wrote this song for you way back in 1975 with a bunch of hosers with really bad teeth, limited musical talent, and a scorching case of herpes.

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This is a hot chick with great big titties and a British accent. Her name is Libby Smith and I’m 99.99% sure that you’ve seen her before, either in your Fappening folder or in a former edition of BBF. Please put down your tweezers and weenus and give her a big ‘ol welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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