Dog Days Of Summer

The Bangor State Fair has come and gone, leaving only children’s memories of the merry go round, bellies full of cotton candy and a steady drip from your wang from that threesome with the carnie’s girlfriend. We’ve had a weird summer this year. The weather hasn’t really been all that hot. We’ve had great days here and there and some memorable good times of course. It just seems as if we’re staring at back to school shopping and packing up camp when things never really got going. I know time seems to move faster as you age but this is ridiculous. This guy learned all he knows about swallowing swords from your mom

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David Brooks is the Sandwich Artist of Virtue Signaling

From the NYTimes, so don’t click.

Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican.

American upper-middle-class culture (where the opportunities are) is now laced with cultural signifiers that are completely illegible unless you happen to have grown up in this class. They play on the normal human fear of humiliation and exclusion. Their chief message is, “You are not welcome here.”

–David Brooks

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Pick a letter, any letter. Alright…keep it in your head. was it an “A”? Great. Now choose any odd number between 1 and 99. Next add your age. Divide by 4. The answer, if my calculations are right, is that Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby share more than a common first name.

clinton-cosby-getty

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Großer Boob Freitag

Hello beaver chasers, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

I really dig this band, I haven’t heard a song I don’t like.

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Your features today are a current TV Personality and former Adult Model, born February 8th, 1978 in Frankfort, Oder, East Germany.  She measures 37-24-33, stands 4’11” and 123lbs.  Bitte hol mir ein Bier and say hello to Miss Bettie Ballhaus !

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19th Annual Great Pumpkin Festival

im-done.png

 

Dear fuquar’s de hose,

It’s that time of year again…Halloween(er)!!!!!!

As you know, we’ve spent the past 18 years showing each other our pumpkins, and this year is not the time to quit. We are simply 2 legitimate to do so. 2 legit to quit.

This Saturday, at 12pm EST I will begin a thread so scary, so frightening, so goddamn shart inducing that you’ll, er, shart.

Side note: I would like a thesaurus for Christmas. Just sayin’.

See you this Saturday,

MJ

 

 

 

Sunday Stuff

ms0wukh

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Give Em What They Want

I think you know where this is going…

True story: I saw Natalie Merchant at U of I with Sheryl Anderson. It was sugary sweet.

Cheerful woman eating chocolate

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Totally Trampy Tuesday

I believe I owe the title of this to b-rad, who suggested this after beasn mentioned being mortified at seeing some little hussy strutting through a store in what may as well have been her underpants. She wasn’t good enough to snap a picture of the offending strumpet for us, but there’s plenty of tramp-related content online. I’ve collected some for your perusal below, but take note: this some trampy, trampy stuff…
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