Speaking of C**ts

So funny I bust my felt wiiiiiiddddeee open.

19th Annual Halloween Extravaganza Post

Hello fellow H2ers. As you all know, October 29th or 30th is the day that we all set aside our differences–zumba or crossfit, fish sticks or chicken nuggets, terrible heavy metal or terrible alt-rock, test anxiety or work anxiety, grabbing pussies or manginas, flame throwers or hot pepper induced magma sharts, pickles or cheetos,– to celebrate our annual Halloween extravaganza and the ritual circumcision of a perfectly good gourd.

Please post pictures of your carlos-o-lanterns, your kids candy haul, a house that you egged and tee-peed, or funny Halloween stuff.

In case you missed it…here’s the drink recipe from this week’s SES.

Zombie MJ

1 oz light rum

1 oz gold rum

1.5 oz dark rum

1/2 oz 151 proof rum

1/2 oz pineapple juice

1/2 oz papaya juice

1/2 oz fresh lime juice

Fill a pint glass almost full with ice. In a shaker, combine the light, dark, and gold rum. Add the juice, and shaky shaky. Pour over the ice, and pour the 151 proof rum over the back of a spoon to float it on the drink.

Fun garnish: Take a sprig of mint and dip it in lime juice then coat it in sugar. It should dry with the sugar adhered to the mint. Very pretty.

Happy Halloween, babies. 

MJ:

 

My New Back Tattoo

One of my buddies sent this to me.  Good luck finding it on the innerwebtubes.  I think it’s been embargoed because it’s so fucking awesome.

I’m not so sure I like Trump as our candidate but I fucking hate political correctness and I love the fact that the media and GOP establishment have giant elaborate sand castles up their vagina about him.

Fuck you political correctness, fuck you media and fuck you GOP establishment.

 

Have fun in your safe zones, liberals.

You know what I like?  Macroaggressions.

Fun Football Factoids!

As summer’s heat begins to wane (except for here, where it’s expected to be over 100 degrees this week) and a chill creeps into the air, it is time once again for America’s Game! No, not that one–The Footballs!

Now, you can just watch the game, or you can quit being such a fat, worthless, fat fucking pantload and learn some shit about it. Here are a few facts I’ve gleaned about this fascinating subject:

Emily Nut Gargled Thor?

Greetings fans of all things nut. Welcome to the post where we discover which nut is your favorite. It’s a big world with all kinds of nuts in it so it’s hard to choose just one. In order to limit weight gain it is important to choose one nut. No one said it had to be a small nut. Go ahead and grab a huge one if you’d like. ‘Merica … the freedom to choose your nut! I bet Bernie Sanders would stand behind that statement. Hillary? Not so much. How old is Chelsea? Add her age plus 9 months and there’s the last time someone nutted on Hillary.

Nutz meet boltz

Update:

huh?