pecan | Changing Headers since March 2009

Place Holder Poat

Do your thing, push it down.

EDIT: MJ

Biden, who was almost always the dumbest person in the Senate and is now suffering from obvious dementia, referred to Putin as President Trump yesterday. I say this for the blog…Fake President Biden, you deserve all of the tragedy in your life. Ever stop to think that perhaps god was trying to tell you something you old corrupt racist?

Donald Trump plans tax reduction, says cuts will be ... — My man, President in Exile, Donny Two Scoops, First of his Name, Donald J Trump

'Our national embarrassment': Donald Trump dragged after ... — Based Orange Cheeto God

The 11 Best President Donald Trump Photos of 2017 | Breitbart — God Emperor of the United States (GEOTUS)

Three Factors Swinging Against Trump 2020 | The WealthAdvisor — Future Emperor Baron Trump’s (Conquerer of China) Father

Melania Trump fake theory reignites as new pictures are ... — Melania Trump, Mother to Emperor Baron I

June 17, 2021
Categories: 1979 Bitchez, 7 / 9 fucks given, Beriberi, CHAD, Chapeau, Crime and Punishment, Drugs, duck face, I am, Microvag, Nice Melons, peanuts and corn the night before, pecan, pelvic rest, Taint what you think, Taking The Browns To The Super Bowl, Thanksgiving, The 1% . . Author: Car in . Comments: 197 Comments

Down the Rabbit Hole

I always think man, the people on You-tube used to be so creative. Remember when it first started how amazing it was? Yeah…see this video? How exciting is THIS?!?!?! The first back flip on You-tube

The first video I ever sent to Merv.

I’d like to thank lauraw for introducing me to this work of art…I believe it is part of the reason Merv fell madly in love with me……….three years after I showed him the video, but really…who’s counting?

The first cat video on You-tube……and as we all know, the Internet was created for cat and dog videos…..I’m pretty sure all videos uploaded to You-tube in 2005 were filmed with a potato.

Cybergoon squad…….the very first “weird side of You-tube” video.

And last, but not least, the VERY first video uploaded to You-tube by one of the founders enjoying his time at the zoo….my guess is, this guy is probably a rich mofo.

Also, it’s entirely possible I sprained my finger picking categories. I might die. I’ll miss you all.

November 19, 2020
Categories: !RALGNAB, # Hashtag, #Championshiplevelboobs, #DeepanalBumpParty, #H2, #hashtag, #indogyears, #Problematic, #Reboob, 10/10 Would Smash, 1979 Bitchez, 2017 Big Boob Championships, 4/10 Would Still Smash, 7 / 9 fucks given, 7 of 9 fucks not given, 80s, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, 9/11 Bush's fault, ACHOO!, alcohol, Aliens, almond, amazing post, American Hero, And Now Another Poat by Pupster, ann coulter, As Little as Possible, asshat anonymous, asshole, bacon, Bacon Strips, bacon wrapped booger, Baconwrappedboobbeer, bad trip, BADASSDOM, Badtards, Ball de Cheese, Balls, bangin' your bud, BANGLAR After Action Report!, BANGLAR BALL BUSTER, BANGLAR BILLY MAYS HERE!!!!, BANGLAR BIRTHDAY!!, BANGLAR COFFEE, BANGLAR KING KONG!!, BANGLAR!, Barack Obama, barely passable trannies, Baseball, BBF, bbq, Beanie, Beauty Personified, Beaver Button, beefcake, Beer, Beer Tree Farm, Belly Button Micro Penis, Beret, Beriberi, Big Stones, Birfday, Birthday Beat Down, birthday beating for bro-cav, Birthday Cake, Black helicopters, Blankie, Blue Man Group, BOO!!!, Boobs, Books, BOOP!, Booze, Bowel Prep, Bowler, braunschweiger, Brazil, Breitbart, Brian Williams, bro-cav is sorry he's not sorry about leering at boobs, BroCav says - 2/10 would not pick again, BroCav wants one of you lame bastigae to create a recipe category - i see nothing good coming of that - but who am i to criticize the genius of the ppl around this chat room: salt to taste, Brown Snow, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Brut, Bugout Jelly, Bunker Pants!, bushmcchimpyhitlerhalliburton, but not the good kind, butt-pokey blues, Button Nose, Buzzcut, By The Beard Of Odin!, Caffeine, CAIR, california lesbian in love, Canine, Cartman, Cash for Crunkers, cashew, cat blogging, Catnaps, cats are evul, cereal, CHAD, Chapeau, Cheedy, cheese, Cheese Ball, Cheese Log Guzzler, Cheez Wiz, chi-chi was here category, Chicks dig a nice tool, Chief Grumpybutt, Chocolate, Chubs, Cinco De Mayo, Citrus Ursine Weiner Beverage, Cockfacefuckaloo, Compound W, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, conspiracy theory, Consumption, cool tunes, Coonskin, coonskin cap, Corncob Pipe, cow snot, Cowboy, Crime and Punishment, crisp bills, CRUNK JUICE!!!, Cults, Dan Rather, Dan's Pickled Eggs, Dan's Pickled Nutsack, Dang. I mean...dang., DDH, Death by Fishstick, Deck The Halls, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, Democrat Clown Car 2020, democrats, Dial C for cooter, dicking bimbos, dig deep the gathering gloom, dinkie dinky dunkers divin' deep, Does this look infected?, Dog Centric, dog love, Don't Make Me Kill You, Don't Talk Shit About Total, Double or nothing, Douche-bagger, Dr B wants to Spank you, Drinking heavily, Drugs, Drunken SeaHorse Blogging, duck face, ducks are people too, Earworm dammit, Easter Eggs, Easter Pig, Eat a bag of dicks, Ed Balls, Ejaculate Responsibly - car in demands it, Electrical, ember shoes, Emily, Emily's Dull Affect, erection day coverage, Fake Butt Accurate, fancy first dates and frilly underwear, Fart! Fart! 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or so teh Pope doth say, Jayson Blair, Jeebus, Jesus Freak, John Galt, Joke thread, Juice, Just Another Fucking Category, just another jimbroglio, just the D…, Kenya, Kinky Afro, Knockers, Kyle, Lactation, lazy bastards anonymous, Lazy Man's Lobster, Le Luc Long, Learn some shit, Leave Poland Alone, LEMON PARTY BISHES!!!, Lesbians, libtards, Like you know how to read., Literature, Loaded dice, Lobster Benedict, Lobster Newburg, Lobster roll, Lobster Thermidor, LOVE SALT!!!, Luckiest Dog Alive, Lumbago, Lumber, lying phquer, macadamia, Magic Carrot For Your Mom, Magic Hat, Make Him Stop - everybody probably, Makin' Bacon, Man, Man-Lesbian, Man-lesbians, ManBearPig, Marathon not a sprint, mardi gras groping, Marez-ee-dotes, marriage, Master Henry, Maxi Pads, meatdickbreath, meghan mccain fat, memememems, Mercurochrome, Merry Christmas, mesadick, Methadone Clinic Cougar, Microvag, milestones, Mini Eggs, misogyny, Mister Mxyzptlk, mittelschmerz, Moist, Molar, monkey love, mons of Marmota monax, Moon Pie Smash, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, mother fuckin' snakes under a mother fuckin' board, Mother's Day, motorboating done wrong, motorboating the brown-ringed zero, Muddle My Mint, Muppet Porn & You, Music Classics, mutha fuckin bootleg fireworks, My safe contains your mom, My Sharona, Nasal Nostalgia, Nate Silver, needs more tartar sauce, Never Gonna Give You Up, new post, new post needed ASAP!!!, NHL, Nice Melons, Nigeria, No Drama, No more wire hangers, no wait ---- a TRULY Amazing Post, North American Goat Love Association, nose nuggets, NOT another post by Pupster, Not Boobs, not boyfrien, Not Enough Categories ffs, Not in the mood for a funny poat, not mannish monday madness, Not yo baby, O, October Surprise, Oh Yeah?, Okay, Old Person, Old Spice, One Foot Muff, Oops., open your chaste mouth, oprah's big booty band, Oprah's Chocolate Starfish, Oprah's Slut Club, Oso made me do it!!!!, OWS, OWS Douchebags, oxycontin, oy!!, Pants Up, Don't Loot, paris hilton whore, Peace Through Douche, peanut, peanuts and corn the night before, pecan, pelvic rest, pelvic thrust, Penis Sipper, people make me sick, People Was Educated, personal junk, pets, Phone blogging, Pinch A Loaf, Pink Floyd, playing Hide the Salmon, Pleurisy, Plugged nickel, Plumbing, poat, police involvement, polishing turds, Politics, Pompadour, Poon In Ivy, POON!, Prankophilia, Pre-Law, Premolar, presidential portrait - 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we don't have a Z, zero fucks, ZOMFG!!11ty!, Zzyzx . . Author: pajama momma . Comments: 241 Comments

Speaking of C**ts

So funny I bust my felt wiiiiiiddddeee open.

April 11, 2017
Categories: !RALGNAB, #H2, #hashtag, #Problematic, 9/11 Bush's fault, alcohol, almond, Brian Williams, Brown Snow, Brut, Bugout Jelly, dicking bimbos, Double or nothing, No more wire hangers, North American Goat Love Association, Not Boobs, OWS Douchebags, oxycontin, paris hilton whore, Peace Through Douche, peanut, pecan, Phone blogging, Pleurisy, Plugged nickel, Plumbing, poat, Premolar, pron, Punk Rock, Pure Genius, quesadillas, QWERTY, right wing rethuglican, robust hindquarters, Rocky Dennis, Sandra Fluke, Say "What" Again, Scurvy, Secret Santa, Shark Week, She-Meat, shut your whore mouth, truther, tubgirl, Tuesday, TurtleFacePlant, Uncategorized, unicorns, You're a TOTAL douche, You're gonna love my nuts, Your dad likes this, Your Mom, Your mom likes this, Zzyzx . . Author: MJ (ghee/ghem) . Comments: 103 Comments

19th Annual Halloween Extravaganza Post

Hello fellow H2ers. As you all know, October 29th or 30th is the day that we all set aside our differences–zumba or crossfit, fish sticks or chicken nuggets, terrible heavy metal or terrible alt-rock, test anxiety or work anxiety, grabbing pussies or manginas, flame throwers or hot pepper induced magma sharts, pickles or cheetos,– to celebrate our annual Halloween extravaganza and the ritual circumcision of a perfectly good gourd.

Please post pictures of your carlos-o-lanterns, your kids candy haul, a house that you egged and tee-peed, or funny Halloween stuff.

In case you missed it…here’s the drink recipe from this week’s SES.

Zombie MJ

1 oz light rum

1 oz gold rum

1.5 oz dark rum

1/2 oz 151 proof rum

1/2 oz pineapple juice

1/2 oz papaya juice

1/2 oz fresh lime juice

Fill a pint glass almost full with ice. In a shaker, combine the light, dark, and gold rum. Add the juice, and shaky shaky. Pour over the ice, and pour the 151 proof rum over the back of a spoon to float it on the drink.

Fun garnish: Take a sprig of mint and dip it in lime juice then coat it in sugar. It should dry with the sugar adhered to the mint. Very pretty.

Happy Halloween, babies.

MJ:

October 29, 2016
Categories: #Problematic, Barack Obama, Baseball, bbq, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, cool tunes, Coonskin, CRUNK JUICE!!!, dicking bimbos, Emily's Dull Affect, Gentian violet, Granny Clinton, Grippe, Hostages Legal Aid, Huevos divorciados, Jeebus, Just Another Fucking Category, Mercurochrome, peanut, pecan, pelvic rest, Sodium Chloride Fornication, Someone needs a sandwich, Space pens, Steamed Lobster, Stetson, Sweet Tunes, Tuesday, Xanthan gum, Yellow Fever, Your mom likes this, Your mom should be on the new ten, ZOMFG!!11ty! . . Author: MJ (ghee/ghem) . Comments: 206 Comments

My New Back Tattoo

One of my buddies sent this to me. Good luck finding it on the innerwebtubes. I think it’s been embargoed because it’s so fucking awesome.

I’m not so sure I like Trump as our candidate but I fucking hate political correctness and I love the fact that the media and GOP establishment have giant elaborate sand castles up their vagina about him.

Fuck you political correctness, fuck you media and fuck you GOP establishment.

Trump Gun

Have fun in your safe zones, liberals.

You know what I like? Macroaggressions.

Continue reading →

December 7, 2015
Categories: American Hero, BADASSDOM, Balls, Booze, CRUNK JUICE!!!, Ed Balls, fuck you, John Galt, Man-Lesbian, pecan . . Author: Rosetta . Comments: 25 Comments

Fun Football Factoids!

As summer’s heat begins to wane (except for here, where it’s expected to be over 100 degrees this week) and a chill creeps into the air, it is time once again for America’s Game! No, not that one–The Footballs!

Now, you can just watch the game, or you can quit being such a fat, worthless, fat fucking pantload and learn some shit about it. Here are a few facts I’ve gleaned about this fascinating subject:
Continue reading →

September 6, 2015
Categories: #hashtag, Balls, Baseball, Blue Man Group, Caffeine, CHAD, Citrus Ursine Weiner Beverage, CRUNK JUICE!!!, Douche-bagger, Emily's Dull Affect, Fourth Grade, goatse, Helen Thomas's Scrotum, I'm not judging you, Kenya, Kyle, Literature, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, Okay, pecan, POON!, rape culture, Rocky Dennis, Ronaldus Maximus, She-Meat, supersonic faggotronic, Tastes More Like Regular, This is fucking bullshit, unicorns, whatever, Your Mom . . Author: Sean M. . Comments: 102 Comments

Emily Nut Gargled Thor?

Greetings fans of all things nut. Welcome to the post where we discover which nut is your favorite. It’s a big world with all kinds of nuts in it so it’s hard to choose just one. In order to limit weight gain it is important to choose one nut. No one said it had to be a small nut. Go ahead and grab a huge one if you’d like. ‘Merica … the freedom to choose your nut! I bet Bernie Sanders would stand behind that statement. Hillary? Not so much. How old is Chelsea? Add her age plus 9 months and there’s the last time someone nutted on Hillary.