BBF

Hello teetotalers, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Big Baisemain Friday.

 

baisemain (beɪzˈmæn) n : archaic a kissing of the hand; thus, a sign of respect

 

 

Your model for today was born May 19th, 1997 in Orlando, Florida.  She stands 5′ 3″, 36E-28-35 and 125 lbs.  Please make yourself comfortable and say hello to Miss Brittney White.

 

Pre-Internet Funny

It’s hard not to take for granted all of our digital entertainment options. Even the younger Hostages haven’t had the internet as we know it all their lives. Back in HS we learned typing on ancient manual typewriters and there was a Computer Club with about 10 kids in it. Yeah, we had a rotary dial phone at my house until I was in college. Now barely  anyone has a  home phone and it seems nearly every kid has spent more time on YouTube on their phone than they have watching TV. Today we reflect on the pre-gif-era of entertainment as our ancestors experienced it. Well, not exactly since this isn’t the Hostage Weekly Magazine in your mailbox.

BBF

Hello two for ones, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

 

Your model for today was floated by Jimbro, she is a talented pianist and composer, born July 3rd, 1985 in Tashkent, Uzbekistan. Please slow your roll and say hello to Miss Lola Astanova!

 

Gilding Your Mom’s Lily

This is that story

It could be all a lot worse if Hillary was in office. Go Donny Two Scoops!

Fishy – in a pos way

The weekend was a bust for fishing. Saturday was the first time I tried to do a little trout fishing in the area I now live. Lots of water, but it’s mainly mud-bottom stuff that non-salmonids do well in but the cold water fish don’t.

“Taco Tuesday 2: This Time She Doesn’t Have Applause Because the ProBiotics Seem to Have Worked” : Dating the POS Way (An Advice Column for a Friend with a Title Shamelessly Stolen {& slightly altered} From teh Same Friend)

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So the big day haz finally arrived.

Mood Music

Almost time to Whistle -POS Groundhog Style

Marmota monax – a pig by any other name is still your mom.

aka: woodchuck, whistle-pig, or land-beaver (heh)

How many names does she have, one might ask.

So, it’s almost time for the best non-holiday holiday of the year. We’ve been cooped up in our wintry nests long enough that it seems reasonable for us to rely on a rodent to scry  our future – whatevs; the little  beast prolly can’t be any worse at it than the local weather man/woman/person/Akava’ine/ Bakla/Bissu/ Calabai/Fa’afafine/ Fakaleiti/ Hijra/ Kathoey/ Khanith/ Koekchuch/ Māhū Maknyah/ Mukhannathun/ Muxe/ Sworn virgin/ Takatāpui/ Travesti/ Two-Spirit/ Winkte…. you get the point.

Lies, Damnable Lies – POS Calumny

Imagine my surprise when aspersions were flung at me recently!!!

Something is Fishy

So –

I was surfing teh webs and came across an interesting little factoid about the Angler Fish –

There’s an obvious mom joke lurking in there…

You Are An Asshole

Do me a favor, would you? Go into the bathroom or your bedroom or look down at your shoe and give yourself a long look in the mirror. Try to look a little disappointed, and say this out loud, ‘I will never be a as good of a person as Lauraw. Not if I invented a time machine and prevented Barak Hussein Obama from becoming president. Not if I found and convinced Mila Kunis to spend an evening with MJ. Not if I opened a weed farm and put MJ in charge of quality control. There is nothing I can do to be funnier or more thoughtful that Lauraw.

Then punch yourself in the balls/vag.

Behold, the Deadmaublanket5.