Big Boob Friday

Everyone shut your smollet hole and pay attention for a second. Donald Trump is god’s gift to conservatives. You may quibble with his demeanor, his communication style, or his brash NY sensibilities. You may not quibble with his results. As George Washington once said of the great Civil War general Winston Churchill, ‘I can’t spare this man. He fights.’

Ladies and gentleman, I believe this is the difference between the GOP and Trump voters. The CC republicans can’t and won’t fight, whereas his base is begging for it. Brigadier General Jay-Z said it best when referring to the chickenheads of the Afrikorps on the eve of the battle of Saratoga…

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a ho (never trump)
This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy
But a pussy having no goddamn sense try and push me
I tried to ignore ’em, talk to the Lord
Pray for ’em, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight

If that doesn’t perfectly describe Jonah Goldberg I don’t what does. Loud as a motorbike, but couldn’t bust a grape in a food fight. Dammit man, do a few burpees and have some self respect.

Today’s model is a gorgeous and slim bed duster. You’re welcome! Please put down your ski masks, white face, clothesline, and red hats and welcome Antonella Khallo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Holding Poat – Bad Trip part ducks

that’s french you ignant bastards –

Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

MMM 174: New Wagon Edition

Hi folks. So Sunday was busy for me. Church, trip to Tractor Supply, built my new 1000lb-capacity “utility cart” (big green wagon), and painted about 1/3 of the baby’s room. I did manage to eat two (2!) solid meals today, though they were very soft food and I had to chew them only on the right side of my mouth. Anyhow, I can’t wait to get back to work so I can relax!

Did you there are competitions in bikini? Like, it’s a skill ‘n’ stuff.

Emily Nut Gargled Thor?

Greetings fans of all things nut. Welcome to the post where we discover which nut is your favorite. It’s a big world with all kinds of nuts in it so it’s hard to choose just one. In order to limit weight gain it is important to choose one nut. No one said it had to be a small nut. Go ahead and grab a huge one if you’d like. ‘Merica … the freedom to choose your nut! I bet Bernie Sanders would stand behind that statement. Hillary? Not so much. How old is Chelsea? Add her age plus 9 months and there’s the last time someone nutted on Hillary.

Nutz meet boltz

Update:

huh?