MMM 285: The Agenda is Everywhere

And historical ignorance abounds.  I tried to watch the Netflix Castlevania cartoon over the weekend and made it less than 4 minutes before thumbing it down.  Well-drawn, but utter garbage for writing.  For those who never played the games, Castlevania was about various members of the Belmont family fighting Dracula and his offshoots and allies at various points in late Medieval and early Renaissance history.  Men (white men!), faithful to God (going to church for restoration and items like holy water occurs in the early games), fighting a satanic, evil immortal being.

First scene of this shit is – in 1455 AD, we’re told – a Strong Independent Woman^tm marching past acres of impaled human bodies to Dracula’s castle.  She bravely enters and proceeds to… scold Dracula about being such a naughty person, then ask him to teach her his super-science so she can become a doctor.  A real doctor, not some cunning woman with poultices and boiling nettles.  Dracula (who is basically Disney’s Beast in terms of visible menace) tells her that he likes her spirit and then agrees to do as she asks.  The next scene is 1475 AD, where Lisa (aforementioned aspiring doctor) is being burned at the stake for witchcraft by a group of evil-looking priests, one of whom is a bishop.  The discussion they have while she burns explicitly conflates science and witchcraft, and the bishop gives one of the priests who says he’s been studying a bit of chemistry (“just a study, to better understand our enemies”) a sidelong glance of the “you might be next at the stake” sort.  I bailed.  WTF?  The only thing they got right was that everyone at least appeared to be European, and hey, nice shout-out with the “AD”.  Let’s completely ignore that the university system (invented by the Church for the advancement of Man) has existed for almost 500 years already, and the University of Paris was founded in 1045 AD with Medicine as one of it’s 4 foundational fields of inquiry.  I just want to punch a lot of retards in the face.  Must be Monday.

Her outfit is falling apart, someone help!

HHD

Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day. Interesting that this is the 200th poat titled HHD. Pretty sure they aren’t all mine, but then I’ve used the Olympic titles recently instead of just plain HHD. Anyway…

I’m watching “Captain America: Winter Soldier” while putting this together, so we have to start off with Chris Evans.

Big Berb Friday!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!

Herro. I’m speaking Chinese now and going to meet our new overlords next month. I’m going to bring a picture of Wiser and me and tell everyone that I know Bill Clinton. I’m also going to eat lizard dusted pig face with a light, foamy spider leg reduction with a big bottle of grapefruit Shasta. It’s what they like, according to a book I’ve been reading about Chinese culture, “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.”

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I wrote this song for Victoria LeGrand a few years ago during a drug fueled… You know I’m going to admit something here; I didn’t really write all of the songs that I’ve claimed to. But this isn’t like the time I posted a super hot trans dude and fooled you idiots into thinking he was a girl. These lies were for the simple pleasure of making you weirdos lust after she cock. No wait…that was still the tranny. These lies were about artistic expression. Big titties and veiny wiener art. Nope, still tranny. Welp, looking back on all of my lies, I guess I’m just a liar. A Brazilian barely legal butt licking frottage obsessed liar.

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Today’s model does not have a penis, does not top, and will not slap you in the face with her girl meat if you’re into that sort of thing. I swear to god with my hand on a stack of giant, lady boner bibles that Ann Denise does not have a ding-a-ling. Swearsies.

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Big Boob Friday

Hey there everyone. I think you all know what’s going to happen here today. First, let me just say that it’s snowing like a mother fucker her in Denver and I might not get to go home. Shut up wiser. Yes I know it snowed a lot in those places where stupid people live, but it’s snowing here. On me. It’s serious. I blame mare which means….ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I tried to find sexy pictures of Meghan McCain but it appears she’s just too fat for it. Consider yourselves lucky that you didn’t have to peer at the fat boobed bishface this afternoon. In her place, I give you the medium boobed Hunter Leigh!!!!one!!!!!!one!!!!!! Could you put your gentlemans sausage between her mammary glands? Yes. Would you lose your gentlemans sausage between her mammary glands? No. I blame no one because if you tried you’re a winner.

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Disco Superfly, Disco Lemondade

Who wants candy? Or more appropriately, who wants to know what the hell I’ve been prattling on about for the past few weeks? Follow below the fold for a full explanation of what I’m obsessed with as of late.

But first, let’s do a little music. I wrote this song in the 90s while I was in a group called Marcy’s Playground. We were going to call it Sheryl Anderson’s Playground but it just didn’t have the same ring so we went with the clueless slit licker from the Peanuts.

The Hostages, Giffffffyyyyyyy

You’ll poke your eye out, kid.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day

February 14, where women would like a thoughtful romantic token of love, and the men would be delighted with just a bj. A little music to start us off.

Faceplant friend posted these, so I had to share.

Complete with some earth-shaking booms, baby

Heh.

Half a million miles or so.

Maybe this would be have been the more appropriate song.
Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day.

CRITICALLY IMPORTANT UPDATE [wiserbud]:

SEMI-HARD UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!—-MJ

Big Boob Friday

Welcum to another edition of BBF, hosted by me. Extremely tall and pleasantly well mannered. Let’s start with a joke:

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I wrote this song for Sean because he’ll probably enjoy it while the rest of you people will most likely call me a flamer for *gasp* posting these hipster douchebags. Sean will note the feedback that begins in the second verse, the kick ass guitar solo, and the reference to other folk musicians in the lyrics. The rest of you people will flick boogers and send me hate mail. The vapors!

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This week’s model is Joey Fisher. My guess is that she’s make an appearance in this hallowed post once or twice. But YOBBFO. You only big boob Friday once. Or twice. Whatever. Look, she’s got a bangin’ body and a really sexy look in her eyes that tells me she probably likes vanilla yogurt. A recent resume listed her measurements as TItty-Fuck, Waist-Grab, Shake-That-Ass. You know, I think I even used the first picture as…the first picture. Like I said, whatev.

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HHD

Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day. During a bout of insomnia, I ended up watching “Battle of the Network Stars” on ESPN Classic. The episode I saw must have been from 1983, with Tom Wopat, Scott Baio, and Mr. T. So, inspired by Monday night’s skate party music, let’s hit the Wayback Machine for today’s HHD.

First up, get your Daisy Dukes on for Tom Wopat.

How Long Did it Take?