BBF

Hello floaters and ranters, welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model is from Miami, Florida, born January 25th 1994, 5’6″, 36DD-27-36 and 126lbs. Please focus and say hello to Miss Karlee Grey!

Music Poat

I know you’ll all ignore this anyway, but once I get it out of my system perhaps we’ll all feel better.

Dog Days Of Summer

The Bangor State Fair has come and gone, leaving only children’s memories of the merry go round, bellies full of cotton candy and a steady drip from your wang from that threesome with the carnie’s girlfriend. We’ve had a weird summer this year. The weather hasn’t really been all that hot. We’ve had great days here and there and some memorable good times of course. It just seems as if we’re staring at back to school shopping and packing up camp when things never really got going. I know time seems to move faster as you age but this is ridiculous. This guy learned all he knows about swallowing swords from your mom

Imagine yourself here: Lapeerpalooza TOWMJGM

Right here:

Or, if you’re not the social type, here, off by yourself:

 

Pay no attention to the fact that the deck currently has no rails. That has NOTHING to do with the plans for MJ’s “disappearance”. We’re ordering the wire this week, and hopefully that will be rectified.

Perhaps you’d want to zip around the lake on one of our jet skis!!!  For the low, low price of a glass of wine paid to me, this can happen.

 

My crack mechanic (#2 son Matt)  is at work getting them in top condition as I write:

 

 

We have TOP NOTCH accommodations here at Chez Car in and this can be had at a very reasonable rate **again a nice hearty glass of wine, and whoever needs it/asks first

 

I got a bunch of these cool light things for the deck, but I haven’t figured out how exactly I’m going to put them up:

 

I may try something new while I have guests, and as soon as I figure what this guy is saying I’ll try to whip some of this up. I don’t know how many more times I’m going to have to watch it …

There’s sure to be some awesome music on the deck too as I give everyone a very complete presentation of what’s currently rotating on my playlist.

And don’t forget the real reason for coming to Lapeerpalooza …

 

He’s dirty.

He’s smelly.

But he’s 155 pounds of pure love. Let’s all have a nice round of applause for MOOOOOOSE.

 

(not actual size – this is from last year)

 

Well, i don’t know what the heck else I can do to convince everyone?

Maybe this –  one last picture of moose:

 

 

 

BBF

Hello spelunkers and drink-mixers, welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Our model for today was born December 27th, 1989 in Wordsley, Dudley, West Midlands, England.  5’5“, 34E-25-37 and 105 lbs, please express yourself artistically  and say hello to Miss Caitlin Wynters!

Highly Recommend

Hi weirdos. Here are a few things I would like to rate as a hostage:

 

TNT flooring: Meth heads that pretend to be Jesus freaks so you’ll trust them with your really big job that they swear is going to be just perfect. Will they work more than a few hours a day? No. Will they smoke meth in your house? Yes. Will you need to have the floor completely removed and done by someone else? Yes. Will the meth heads remind you of someone but you can’t quite place them? Yes.

SHHHHHHHH

I’m going to share a secret with you folks. Pictured below is the GREATEST garden hand tool I’ve ever owned.

 

Big words, I know – but this has changed my life. And because I love you all so very much (except MJ) I’m going to share this valuable knowledge with you.

 

This is it:

 

 

BEHOLD IT’S BEAUTY. $33 on Amazon, but I got it cheaper at Meijer a few weeks back.

You’re welcome, everyone.

 

Here’s an old song I’ve been listening to lately – THANK YOU TURBO.

 

 

Carry on fine people.

Weekend Memes

Hotspur’s new truck

Socks helping with the rent

Beansersdgdgresasd’s basement renovation took an unexpected turn

Jewstin is early Christmas Shopping

Colex wants a paper umbrella with that

Mare updates her look

Jimbro seems bored

And then he ate it

CARin gets in a fight

Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

Sean’s Delicious Calamari

You people make me sick. We spent an entire day talking about turtlenecks when there are very real and important things going on in the world!

1. Some chick no one has ever heard of was asked not to be rude by the guy whose job is to chastise rude people.

2. Some homeless lady was the butt of a mild joke about her hair which was racist and also anti-domicileless.

3. A cranky alcoholic colicky baby who is running for president in 2020 mentioned the chick no one had ever heard about and the homeless lady.

4. Car in called me twice just to talk.

Ok fine, I made that last one up but the rest are 100% real stories that were covered wall to wall by the very serious gossip columnists we pretend are reporters and journalists. And you trogdilytes trogdelites trogderplites losers decided to make the funneh about foreskin.

Shame!