Darlene and Bubba Wayne Get It On at the Circle K

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This is just something I threw together this afternoon, egged on by a friend’s Zombie stories and nothing better to do.  Not being from the South, said friend failed to realize that what I wrote was sheer White Trash poetry. 

It isn’t often that one can read a literary “masterpiece” that combines the Circle K, moonpies, RC Cola, mullets, and White Rain in just a couple of paragraphs….

I told him I managed to make a “best of” here – I included all of the hackneyed cliches of the Southern trailer park in 250 words or less:

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Is this THE greatest invention evah?

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[Update: Andy] Pinto says, “Oh hells yes”! (NSFW)

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Pictures that you get when searching for shuttle

071114-N-9177B-001
POHANG, Republic of Korea (Nov. 14, 2007)  U.S. Marines from the 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit and Republic of Korea Marines from the 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, prepare to move to the next objective during the Korean Integrated Training Plan exercise. The U.S. light armored vehicle was transported to the beach by one of the three landing craft, air cushions that shuttled Marines and equipment from ship to shore from the amphibious assault ship USS Essex (LHD 2). U.S. Navy photo (Released) Continue reading

Where is my coffee and bacon?

Since the other poat was starting to smell like old champagne cheese, sweaty palms, and cellulite (pronounced cell-you-leet) you gets this. Here is a great tune. If you don’t like it then you suck.

 

Looks like some hostages have placed some shit for sale

Enjoy this fine Saturday because I said so

Super Happy Fun-Fun BBF Time!

Good afternoon miscreants and welcome to another guest edition of Big Boob Friday, where we all learn yet again that BBFs do not necessarily need to weigh the equivalent of a Banglar Party Van or look like she has been hit by one.

Today we introduce our official BBF mascot:  Lana Kane!

Please don’t ask me where Rosetta is.  I honestly have no idea.  He said something about “working very hard and having a number of important meetings today” but personally I think he’s taken a page from the WI Dems playbook and is hiding out in an Illinois bar.  Let’s all hope he enjoys his time there and remembers to wipe his chin before he returns.

As usual, we will start today’s celebration with a song.  Surprisingly, last night’s thread regarding guitar players stayed relatively on topic for quite a while.  That is truly an accomplishment for this place, where everyone generally has the attention span of a crack-addicted chipmunk with ADD.  And from what I gleaned from the discussion, Mark Knopfler is quite well-liked by the majority of those who care.  I agree.  This is the song that made me a fan and was also what prompted me to by my first CD and CD player:

I’ve noticed over the years a lack of BBF gals from Eastern Europe.  This is simply unacceptable and I do not understand why the regular proprietor of BBF seems to hate Eastern European women so much.  Well, today, I plan to rectify that situation.

Today’s lovely young lass was born in the Czech Republic on April 24, 1976, where she spent her formative years.  But as she blossomed, it became quite obvious that she had the attributes that would soon make her a international sensation, if only she could get out of Czechoslovakia.  So, off to LA went this pretty young thing, where she quickly found work as a massage therapist.   I have no facts to back this up, but I imagine she was quite successful in this career.  In the meantime, she began modeling and the rest is, as they say, history.  And with her lucky lottery numbers of 34DDD-19-34, if Xbrad hasn’t rubbed one out to her yet, it just a matter of seconds before he does.  So let’s all step back a few feet and give a great big Hostage welcome to the future former Mrs. Wiserbud, Denise Milani!

Seriously, does it get any better  than this?

Sit back and break out your blue books, for these will be on the test:

1836 – Samuel Colt is granted an United States patent for the Colt revolver.  Liberals everywhere finally have something to focus there inherent whininess on.

1901 – J. P. Morgan incorporates the United States Steel Corporation.

1919 – Oregon places a 1 cent per U.S. gallon tax on gasoline, becoming the first U.S. state to levy a gasoline tax.  Fuck you, Oregon.

1945 – World War II: Turkey declares war on Germany.  Hilarity ensues.

1948 – The Communist Party takes control of government in Czechoslovakia and the period of the Third Republic ends.

1986 – Corazon Aquino becomes the Philippines’ first woman president.

Notable births of the day:

1873 – Enrico Caruso, Italian tenor
1894 – Meher Baba, Indian spiritual figure
1913 – Jim Backus, American actor
1913 – Gert Fröbe, German actor
1928 – Larry Gelbart, American comedy writer
1943 – Musician George Harrison
1963 – Baseball player Paul O’Neill
1965 – Carrot Top, American comedian

And one notable death

2006 – Darren McGavin dies at the age of 83

Enjoy your weekend and try not to spill any liquor on the rug.  From what I’ve learned recently, that really pisses the bride off for some reason.  I don’t know what her problem was.  I mean, I did clean it up.

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The Next Generation

Generally speaking, the late night threads are consumed with insults, dick jokes, worries about xBrads teef, and the occasional dick-joke-insult.  Last night was no different, but the thread also contained a fairly serious conversation.  You see, Andy and JackStraw went to see Mark Steyn deliver a speech last night.  If you haven’t read his book, America Alone; tsk tsk.  It’s very good, even if it is kind of uncomfortable to read.  No one wants to face the truth of the demographic nightmare that is creeping across Europe, effectively changing their culture.

During the speech, a question was raised by an audience member:

Will the Europeans push back as the Islamic tide breaks?

The response was summarized by categorizing the European population in the following way:

1) Old folks who are too tired to resist
2) Young people who leave
3) Converts to Islam (go along to get along)

Fack!  Well, ok.  That sort of leaves us in a future position to save the world (again).  So lets take look at the next generation to see who will be defending us, and our way of life: Continue reading

Thursday Foreignotica XXV

Last week’s song were Indian. Here are a few traditional Pakistani songs.

The first is called Luddi Hey Jamalo. I have no idea what it means, but rumor has it that it’s Sindhi or something. It’s sung at dholkis and sometimes even at mehndis.

This clip can also tell you something about the high quality of Pakistani videos.

[Length = 5:27; relevant portion = 0:51-5:27]

The second one is in Panjabi called “Nach Panjaban” (Dance, Panjabi Woman). It’s often played at mehndis.

[Length = 4:29]

The third is called “Balle Balle Ne Tor Panjaban Di“. It’s in Panjabi and I have no idea what it means. It’s often sung at dholkis.

[Length = 5:38]