Big Bazoombas Friday™

Ohai.  Welcome to Big Boob Friday.  Put some pants on for God’s sake.  And take a shower.  Have some self-respect you piece of shit.

Do you know who Simona Halep is?  She’s an 18 year old tennis player from Romania.  She has a devastating serve as you can see here.

Today your musical interlude is an audio and video mashup and it kicks all kinds of phat ass up and down the street all day long.  Stick with it to at least the aerobics class…

NEW MODEL ALERT!!!   NEW MODEL ALERT!!!   NEW MODEL ALERT!!!

After a few years of Big Boob Friday, it has become increasingly difficult to find brand spanking new hot chicks that meet all the strict requirements to be featured on this page.  So it’s a treat when it happens.

Here some stuff you will need to know.  Today’s peach was born in Georgia on December 31st, 1985.  For some reason she’s shifty regarding the actual town which is odd.  She currently resides in Hawaii so she probably hangs out with Mare a lot.

She was the June 2006 Penthouse Pet which is nice.  Her most favorite color is red and her favorite movie is Garden State which is actually a pretty good choice.  She likes to listen to the Stones and The Doors.  The combination to her vault is 36D-28-35.  I know from her dossier that she likes to touch other women’s naked buttocks if you’re into that sort of thing.

If you hate your job and want to be fired immediately, you can visit her website HERE.

But before you do that, please punch the nearest goat and welcome the newest member of the BBF club and your beauty queen for today, Friday, April 30th, 2010, Shay Laren!!  YAY!!!

On this day…

* in 1789, George Washington was inaugurated as the first President of the U.S.

* in 1792, composer Johann Friedrich Schwencke was born.

* in 1798, the Department of the Navy was established.  Good job MCPO.

* in 1803, the U.S. doubled in size via the $15 million Louisiana Purchase.

* in 1828, the great Zulu king Shaka was killed by a crazed tea-bagger.

* in 1893, SS foreign minister Joachim von Ribbentrop was born.

* in 1904, the ice cream cone made its debut at the St. Louis World’s Fair.

* in 1927, Princess Juliana won a seat on the Dutch Council of State.

* in 1933, country singing truther moron Willie Nelson was born in Abbott, Texas.

* in 1935, the World Congress for Women’s Rights met in Istanbul.

* in 1945, GOP donor and conservative activist Adolf Hitler committed suicide at the age of 56.

* in 1953, singer Merrill Osmond was born in Ogden, Utah.

* in 1968, singer Frankie Lymon died of a heroin overdose.

* in 1975, the last U.S. helicopter left the U.S. embassy in Vietnam.  On a related note, fucking cunt.

* in 1982, actress and sometime-hottie Kirsten Dunst was born.

* in 1983, blues legend Muddy Waters died at the age of 68.

* in 1988, the largest banana split ever (4.55 miles long) was made in Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania.

That’ll do, pig.  I am a bachelor this weekend which is excellent.  As I tell Mrs. Rosetta, how can I ever miss you if you’re never gone?  Hahaha.  But seriously, it’s going to be a good weekend.

I hope your weekend is excellent and that you don’t get killed.

Cheers!

FIAF Pre-BBF Poat

It’s Friday. Precursor to the dreaded weekend. But that’s no reason why we should get depressed! Monday is just around the corner. Just beyond the horizon.

As a distraction until we have bewbs, I offer the following debate question; is Nickelback single-handedly responsible for the current decline in rock music?

This Is a Post About Blue Cheese

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Due to illness, the part of Cuffy’s Ass will be played by Swiss Cheese.

“What is your problem?”

I mean, other than that you showed up dressed for a luau and not a murder trial.

Other than Mare, why do we have this as a state? Seems like more trouble than it’s worth.

Old? Yes. Funny? Not necessarily.

(OMG I spelled that last word right!)

Captain Picard

Watch the entire movie here.

HHD

Good morning, ladies!

What was that?  Shut up and post the pics?  Oh, okay. 

H2 Icons (First in a Series)

Get your motor runnin’ …

head out on the highway … and watch your knees!

Monday TittyWeb Roundup

The booger-eating morons in Hollywood are doing yet another retread of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles next year.  Here’s what they’re going to look like.

That should make kids poop their pants.

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Clarice?

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Are you familiar with Groupon?  No, it’s not orgy related.  Unfortunately.  You pick your city and give them your email address and they send you an awesome coupon each day.  Usually for restaurants, spas, concerts and that sort of crap.  Some of the deals are awesome so you should sign up.  Send me 50% of the money you save you cheap bastard.

Here’s a video for those of you that can’t read.

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Fin.

Balls Pulled Over

Uh-oh:

Ed Balls was condemned by road safety campaigners last night after being caught driving while talking on a mobile phone – as his children slept in the back seat.

The Children’s Secretary was fined £60 and given three points on his licence after being stopped by police on a dual carriageway last weekend.

Mr Balls said he had picked up the phone because he feared that his children would be disturbed if he used the car’s hands-free system.

Heh.  Balls was afraid to go hands-free.  But he did it For The Children™, so there is that.

This guy…

…was unavailable for comment.  (Note the continuity between poats.  Clever, no?)

Obligatory: