It’s started. GO!!!
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May 31, 2008
Categories: Adults In Diapers, Christmas cheer, Poo flinging monkeys, Tards, business, man-lesbians, teh funny . . Author: Rosetta
1,018 Comments
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Molar Breaker Crunch Cereal
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Chocolate Chokeables Cereal
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Kellogg’s Dead Puppies with Marshmallow Dead Kittens
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Mini-broccoli toasties cereal
and introducing
cheesy mini-broccoli toasties cereal
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General Mills Daddy Cocks
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 8:22 pmEndive and Arugala Bites!
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 8:24 pmBrussels Sprouts Cereal
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Corona Crunch
Count Stalkula
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 8:25 pmObama Bits
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CRAP! I have to leave in a minute. Please don’t do all the good ones before I get back.
Post Heroin Pops
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 8:28 pmMagical Mysteries
Now with Dust Bunnies!
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General Mills Abortion Smacks
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MUTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!! My four year old just asked me if that was me in The Clap video
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 8:32 pmGeneral Mills Wifey Smacks
Now with added mini beers!
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 8:32 pmOh, no he di’nit!!!
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oh that’s my favorite MCPO
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yes he did, he’s not living to see his next birthday, even though he’s asking me if he can have an elevator for his birthday. maybe I’ll take him to a high rise downtown and tell him it’s his
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 8:36 pmIt would take him awhile to find his way down the Modis building! ;^)
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good idea, he is after all my, “spirited” child
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Nipple O’s
“Nature’s goodness, just like you used to get from mom”
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*chirp chirp
Rosetta’s wife must have come back from her boyfriend’s house
*sigh
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 8:54 pmForensic Crunch
(As advertised on CSI)
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 9:14 pmCrack Crystals
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Instapundit Puppy Surprise
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OT: Back when I was married, I’d ask my mother, wife, and sister (when they’d be sitting or standing together) detailed and pointed questions about pregnancy and childbirth. It totally embarrassed them all.
Ironically, I knew more about female health than my wife did. I remember boring her with lectures on how her body worked.
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Colon Blow-os-NOW with extra toots!
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 10:07 pmMetal Filings Crunch
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 10:20 pmTricks*
Now with a free condom inside!
*From the brilliant mind of PattyAnn
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 10:21 pmValtrex Crunch
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Hahaha C3PO, I forgot about the toys inside.
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Where the hell did everybody go? They’re probably over having fun at Ace’s. Bastards and Bitchfaces.
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on May 31, 2008 10:24 pmNope – They’re in the Kos Swamp laughing at the pink baboons.
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Did I tell anyone I was called to be Gospel Doctrine Sunday School teacher? That means I teach the adults. People around my age, a few older. It’s so much fun. I’m preparing tomorrow’s lesson.
Which I hope will work this time. Last week I prepared the lesson and then forgot the teacher’s manual (with all my notes and all) at the office. But I still winged it well enough that they liked the class.
Bring the Spirit, help them learn, inspire them – those are my goals.
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Golden Graham Showers
(submitted by Mrs. Rosetta)
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General Mills Donkey Punches
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Post Herpes Simplex VI Snaps
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Sugar Bukkake Bites (No Milk Needed)
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“(submitted by Mrs. Rosetta)”
hahaha…that one was just sick ![:)]()
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Hi Patty Ann.
Patty Annal Flakes
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Comment by Mrs. Rosetta on June 1, 2008 12:45 amPatty Annal Flakes
PattyAnn, This one was from me and I have to tell you I felt a little bad about it. I hear from Mr. Rosetta that you are the sweetest Hostage that has ever lived. Nothing personal – I know you can bring it.
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“Patty Annal Flakes”
Okay. It’s ON, Mrs. Rosetta.
But another time. It’s late, I’m old…etc.
![:)]()
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I like Mrs. Rosetta. So I won’t point out that “Patty Annal” makes no sense whereas “Patty Anal” does.
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Thanks, PA! I love it.
And Mrs. Rosetta: You’re right. PA is one of the nicest Hostages.
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Muslihoon Doesn’t Get Funny Jokes Flakes
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General Heather Mills Sugar Frosted Legs
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Kellogg’s Bed Wetter Snaps
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I may set the record for most consecutive comments tonight so you all can kiss my ass.
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Scott McClellan Douche Smacks
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You’re Going To Be A Garbageman Sugar Pops
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Mommy Doesn’t Love You Snaps
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Keith Richard’s Liver Chex
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Surprisingly, this is more fun with other people.
Loser Chex
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Kellogg’s Santa’s Not Real Flakes
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Tooth Fairy Enamel Chunks
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Dad’s Kidney Stone Pebbles
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Jaeger Bomb Smacks (with free shot glass)
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You’re Going To Hell Loops
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Taco Bell™ Rejected Meat Puffs
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Comment by forged rite on June 1, 2008 2:43 am29 comments in a row. If that’s not the record, it’s pretty damn close.
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I remember boring her………………..Comment by Muslihoon on May 31, 2008 9:46 pm
Nooooooooooo, I don’t believe you.
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Comment by lauraw on June 1, 2008 9:45 amOh, God, you are slaying me Rosetta.
Good, good, laugh this morning. I’m dying over here.
Thank you so much for sharing your disgusting brilliance with the world.
Best one? ‘Salt.’
I do believe I have pissethed myself.
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YAY!!!
I like when I make lauraw happy.
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Death (cinnamon)
PA, that is, perhaps, your funniest comment ever.
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I don’t like it when you make her happy. I much prefer to hear her scathing brilliance. For example, her comment on IB, “……..needs to take a bleach-and-ammonia enema and pass away in agony, amid a puddle of his own dissolved internal organs”.
That my friends, is a thing of beauty.
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Why don’t you and lauraw make out?
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 10:07 amAm I invisible?
![:(]()
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What’s that buzzing sound?
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 10:13 amIt’s probably your vibrator, you hoor
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I would totally make out with her. I’d make out with her more than bart even. I bet she’s totally hawt and that would make me all hot and it would get good and messy and stuff.
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Go to The Hostages here if you want to do spell stupid shit with other idiots. It’s fun for about 3 minutes.
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Colon Splatter — the new and improved version of Colon Blow.
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 10:24 amnice strikes, PJ.
i’ll pretend that i didn’t notice your earlier phail
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It’s probably your vibrator, you hoor
Hahahaha.
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General Mills Jews Schindler Didn’t Save Crispies
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 10:26 ammaple fucking walnut ice cream
yes, it still bothers me to this day.
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I’m sorry bart, I just got all excited with lauraw talk. I really wish she woudln’t return all the letters I send her. I know that if she’d read just one, she’d fall madly in love with me.
I’m still waiting to see if my letters to mesa get returned. Anyone wanna send me their address so I can obsess over them?
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You know what made maple walnut ice cream so utterly repulsive, at least the one we bought that one day, it was made with black walnuts. Black walnuts are the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted. They’re the devil’s nuts.
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I’m bare-foot. does that make you hot?
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Did you used to put Cheerios up your nose?
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Dingleberry Delight Crunch
Now with 42% more dingleberries!
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No, I did put a vitamin up my nose once and had to go to the doctor to remove it.
Madeleine however put a craft bead up her nose. I was in the middle of moving and was pregnant with Garren and due any day and I wasn’t positive she did it, so I just figured I’d wait to see if she got a sinus infection. She did.
I took her to the doctor, they wrapped her up in a sheet, spread her nose open with some little instrument and pulled out a craft bead. I said, sweet ok, we can go now.
The doctor said, no, wait a minute and went back in and proceeded to pull out 3 more craft beads. I think that was the year I got the, Mother of the Year Award.
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Why did you have craft beads around the house?
Were you making a shawl?
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Kellogg’s Bhut Jolokia Pops
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I was trying to make you a jacket for Christmas using my Bedazzler. I hope you’ll like it.
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I think the kid in the toilet is just upset because that’s obviously where he has to take a bath.
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I think the kid in the toilet is just upset because that’s obviously where he has to take a bath.
Hahahaha.
Bedazzler RULES!!!
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 11:27 ambetter than the Flowbee?
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I can’t believe people actually bought that thing.
Frightening.
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I was gonna say, PJM: the stupidest thing about that pic is the mess in the bathtub. Horrendous and inexplicable.
“Fruity Fudge” does not compute.
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I’ve been tempted to buy the Flowbee. Can’t be worse than the haircuts I already give my kids and it’d be less messy.
i> the stupidest thing about that pic is the mess in the bathtub. Horrendous and inexplicable.
I do not judge clutter as I live in clutter. I AM clutter.
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 11:38 amCorn Pops were good.
They were big yellow things, if I remember rightly.
I remember one of my siblings, one morning, carefully placing several Corn Pops in his/her mouth and then revealing his/her accomplishment by presenting the rest of us with a big smile.
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 11:39 amDentistry-O’s!
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 11:39 amDecay-O’s!
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 11:40 amCavity Flakes
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 11:41 amMaybe they were called Sugar Pops?
I dunno
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 11:58 amWho here has ever had a bird for a pet?
Stupidest pet ever.
If anyone ever gives you a parakeet for a gift, give it back to them.
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I watched a bird for my aunt and uncle when they went out of town, by the end of my babysitting experience I wanted to smoosh it’s tiny head between my fingers.
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Both, Bart: they were known as Corn Pops and Sugar Pops.
Your sibling had grills!
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It’s simple, Bart. Anything in cereal land that was named “Sugar” was changed to “Corn”
Sugar Pops=Corn Pops
Sugar Smacks=Corn Smacks
So, from now on, when you hear “Sugar” replace it with “Corn”
Okay, Corn?
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Rosetta, I feel bad that we all left you last night. And you went all psycho. Well, psycho-squared.
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What would you like with your coffee?
Cream and corn.
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Don’t feel bad, PattyAnn!
I still had fun cracking myself up although it is more fun when other people are being stupid with me.
Easy Sugar Corn Cookies
INGREDIENTS
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 cups white sugar corn
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 2:25 pmI’m having sugar corn on the cob for dinner in a few minutes.
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How do you make your sweet tea?
Step 1: Make tea
Step 2: Add corn
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Comment by Bart on June 1, 2008 2:29 pmCorn Smacks?
Heh. Better get back to the drawing board.
Smack = heroin
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Corn, Corn came out in 1969. A lot of brilliant, totally cool, awesome people were born that year.
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Dang, I missed all the fun.
Stupid life.
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Comment by Tushar on June 1, 2008 6:23 pm>>Lice Krispies
I think they are already selling those in China
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Rosetta: How could anyone born in that year give their birthyear without giggling?
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Kellogs Snow Flake Frosties IS TEH PWNZORD!!!!111!! OMG!!11
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WTF? Did the filter eat my comment?
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WTF? Did the filter eat my comment?
No, rosetta hates you.
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 11:06 amHi guys, have a good weekend?
*avoids making eye contact with PJM*
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Lauraw, um, hey……………..um, did anything come in the mail for you? at all? Ever?
I’m uh, I’m just curious. No biggie if it hasn’t.
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Michael Jackson’s Honey Nut Molest-e-O’s
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Honey Bunches o’ Broken Glass Shards
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Uncle Larry’s Sugar Nuts ‘n’ Secrets
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 1:48 pmLuekemia Charms!
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Kellogg’s Six Months To Live Chex
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General Mills Mommy’s-A-Whore Loops
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Cleveland Steamer Turds ‘n’ Flakes
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Kellogg’s Douchbag Crisps
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 2:05 pmCold Sore-ios!
and…
Honey Nut Cold Sore-ios!
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Post Viagra w/ diamond shaped marshmalllows
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Comment by forged rite on June 2, 2008 2:07 pminappropriate racial stereotype smacks
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 2, 2008 2:09 pmforged rite – BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Even the Soviet judge gives it a 10!
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YAY! You did one! I’m so proud of you forged rite! And it was even funny. Good job big boy!!
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What did all those people do when WP linked this post?
I wish that gif was smaller.
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Comment by forged rite on June 2, 2008 2:13 pmAw shucks
*holds head high*
*realizes i can’t think of anymore*
*slinks away quietly*
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 2:15 pm“I wish that gif was smaller.”
Sarcasm Flakes
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Catholic Priest Sleepover Puffs
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Monsters Live Under Your Bed Flakes
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:25 pmBerkley Krisps – chockful of fruits, nuts and flakes.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:26 pmClamato Chex
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Comment by pajama momma on June 2, 2008 2:23 pm
You’re Adopted Bran
Ahem…
Comment by Rosetta on June 1, 2008 1:39 am
Sugar Adopted Kid Pops
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:27 pmHoney bunched my nuts.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:27 pmwedgie delight.
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Honey bunched my nuts.
Hahahaha!!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:29 pmMunge Mix
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:31 pmHobo stew Chex
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John Edwards’ Father Worked In A Textile Mill Pebbles
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 2, 2008 2:33 pmHonky Honey Chex
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 2, 2008 2:34 pmWigga Wheats
* free Hip-hop rhymes in every box
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Stupid Bran
…wait for it.
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 2, 2008 2:36 pmToasted Phelps Homo-Honey Crunch
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 2:37 pmHoney Catacombs
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 2:38 pmTurnin’ Trix
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 2, 2008 2:39 pmPfleger Race Pimp Pops
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Stupid Bran
That made me think of one of my son’s bullies at school. He told my son he didn’t want to go near my son because he didn’t want to catch “stupid ivy”. Graham actually found that amusing as the kid is in special ed and graham is an honors student.
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Boners…with real wood in every bite!
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 2, 2008 2:41 pmFilk Flakes
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That made me think of one of my son’s bullies at school. He told my son he didn’t want to go near my son because he didn’t want to catch “stupid ivy”. Graham actually found that amusing as the kid is in special ed and graham is an honors student.
What does that story have to do with organic nuts or eating local honey?
FAIL!
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You’re an ass rosetta
Rosetta”s Bully Bran
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 2:44 pmUm, I think Hostess or Drake’s had something called Boners — it was a chocolate covered chocolate cake roll with peanut butter flavored filling.
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I Eat Pieces Of Shit Like You For Breakfast Flakes
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Cream of Sum Yung Man Wheat
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:47 pmRosetta’s Ass Krisps
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:47 pmPorn Flakes
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You’re an ass rosetta
Sticks And Stones!!!
Pork ‘n’ Beasn Flakes
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Tushar’s Expired Visa Grahams
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Jeff
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! YES!!!!!!!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:51 pmMancakes, with Jelly and Syrup
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Your Frog Isn’t Sleeping He’s Dead Pops
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:52 pmAngel pubic hair pasta
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 2:52 pmAnal Apertures.
*rimming with nutritious goodness*
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Spix
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
That one is thing of beauty in its simplicity.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:55 pmfruits, and their nuts
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:56 pmpooter pies
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Weetabix Shit Pillows of Steel Wool Bran
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Beeries! With Spent Condoms in Each Box!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 2:58 pmKashi Go Lean (over the table)
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Beavis’ Assmunch Crunch. hehehehehehehe
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:04 pm>>Cinnamon Toast Hunch
with essence of Lauraw
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:05 pmToe Jam on Toast
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The English Patient Cereal
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Bart-O-Meal ![:)]()
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Honey Bunches of Loneliness
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 3:12 pmColon Crunchberries
free rectal scope prize inside!
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Billy Mays’ Kaboom Cereal
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 3:15 pmGonads!
collect both Gonads toys, Lefty and Righty
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Alec Baldwin’s Thoughtless Little Pig Clusters
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:18 pmStrawberry shortbus cake
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:19 pmPancakes with choade syrup.
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Blueberry Disappointment Squares
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“You’re the Milkman’s Kid” Flakes. A surprise in every bite!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:20 pmGonorrhea Granules
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Strawberry shortbus
Hahahahaha.
+ 500 points
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:21 pmBen Dover Bisquits.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:23 pmFungustibles
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:24 pmApple Critters
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 3:24 pmSchizoids!
So delicious you’ll lose your mind with every spoonful!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:25 pmKellogg’s special KY
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 3:28 pmObsessive Compulsive Bran Flakes
You can’t have just one bowl!!!
You MUST have exactly 4 1/2 bowls.
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That OC Bran Flakes was a good bit, Bart. Haha.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:31 pmFlorida OJ – you will kill for it
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:33 pmGranny Smith Adams Apples
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 3:33 pmParanoid Puffs
Wiin a trip to Disney World, details inside!!
*many will enter, few will win*
*you won’t win, the world is against you*
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:33 pmSpiderman Flakes – now with extra cobwebs.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:35 pmAlzheimer’s Chex – a taste you will forget.
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Post Orgasm Chunks ‘n’ Flakes
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Infidel Flakes. Now with even more pork flavor!
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 3:41 pmAnna Nicolios
*8 essential vitamins and oxycodone*
*Anna Nicole toy breast implants prize inside!!!*
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Placenta Bran. Not just for Scientologists any more!
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Slaughter House Five Flakes–Finish the box before you even begin eating it!
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 3:45 pmPost Nasal Drip
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Prozac Poridge. It tastes like shit, but you won’t care.
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Comment by Bart on June 2, 2008 3:46 pmPost Partum Depression
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WB Shredded Tweet. It did see a puddy tat!
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Post Partum Depression
Hahahaha!!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:49 pmpudenda pudding
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Milwaukee’s Best Flakes. Beer isn’t just for lunch anymore.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:53 pmPunani sandwich
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Pravda Puffs: The Official Cereal of the Obama Household Since 1997! Now with even more truthiness for average white people.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:54 pmAss flavored buscuits – your dog will love them too
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Milwaukee’s Best Flakes
HA!
*BARF!!*
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General Mills Strawberry Afterbirth Chunks
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:55 pmArugula Crunch – now with more blame-whitey clusters.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 3:56 pm>>General Mills Strawberry Afterbirth Chunks
Gah!
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Punani sandwich
*waits for rosetta to give tushar shit for not sticking to the cereal theme
*whistles
*twiddles thumbs
*holds breath
*turns blue
*dies
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Tonya Harding’s Bully Crunch. If you can’t beat them, have them beaten!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:01 pmPJ Momma, I thought I will expand the ouvre.
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What the fuck Tushar? Sandwich??!
– 10,000 points
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Post Sugar Sandwich Flakes
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Hahahahahaha.
I like that one, PB.
Kellogg’s School of Management Loops
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Post McChiimpbushitlerburtondieboldnobloodforoilblackhawkimpeachnow Crunch
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:11 pmOk, I will just leave now.
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 4:13 pmCap’n Diarrhea
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Did someone say Numnuts?
Which is why I knew it was clever.
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Ok, I will just leave now.
No no no. Stay and make more sandwich funny.
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 4:21 pmThere Is One Poison Crunchberry In This Box
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Odorless, Tasteless Iocaine Power Crunch…As You Wish!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:24 pmWell, if you insist twice…
Fiery Burrito – burns you up on it’s way in, and out.
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There Is One Poison Crunchberry In This Box
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:24 pm>>Metamuesli
Metamueslihoon
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Kellogg’s Cunnilingus Crunch
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For our terrorists friends:
Cluster Bombs
w/extra bacon
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:28 pmLiberal Chex – plain nutty, or extra flaky, but always fruity – now with extra carbon credits.
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Al Gore’s Fat Fucker Squares
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:29 pmOralteen
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:30 pmAlmond Pooter Crunch – with that rotten almond taste.
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Joe Weider’s Shrunken Testicle Pebbles
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:32 pm>>Curry Puffs
Your ass will explode with delight.
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Sugar-coated Retard Helmets
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 4:36 pmSkin Flakes & Biopsied Moles That Look Like Chocolate Chips
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Post Fuck Off Nut ‘n’ Berry Crunch
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:38 pmold wound scabs – topped with pus custard
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General Mills Crippling Insecurity Clusters
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 4:40 pmYour Mom Didn’t Survive The Accident Crispies
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Post Rolled Up Bits Of Tinfoil Crunch
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Your Mom Didn’t Survive The Accident Crispies
Hahahaha! That’s my favorite theme. Breaking terrible news to the kid.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:43 pmpooterbutter candy
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Your Going To Go Live With Your Aunt in Texas For A Few Months Berries
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Rover is going to go live on a farm snaps
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:51 pmPig Newtons
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:52 pmHillarys Cankleberry crunch – for a cackling good time
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 4:52 pmPenis Smacks
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You’re Going To Tell People You Fell Off Your Bike Do You Hear Me? Squares
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:53 pmBoogerlumps
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 4:54 pmfrosted pig entrails
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Comment by Dave in Texas on June 2, 2008 4:56 pmPinworm Puffs
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Dammit, I should have left it at:
Rape Nuts
Can’t believe that was still out there
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Comment by Dave in Texas on June 2, 2008 4:58 pmPost Coital Crunch
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Comment by Dave in Texas on June 2, 2008 4:59 pmSnake-Ums
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 5:15 pmPanda Pieces
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 5:16 pmBloody Stool Puffs
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 5:18 pm>>Darfur Rape Nuts
Sweetened with Rape-a-dura
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 5:20 pmPJ Momma scares me. Her imagination is wild, her gaze is piercing, and she wants to eat my babies.
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Only their thighs Tushar. I just know they’re moist and plump.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 5:27 pmWhen I took them to the doc for shots the other day, the nurse said, “Ooh, you brought me turkey legs!”
I sometimes nibble on them too, and they squeal with laughter. What the heck, I am going home.
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Comment by lauraw on June 2, 2008 5:28 pmChocolate Covered Anchor Babies
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Ben & Jerry’s Chlamiydia dripple. More than just the tatse, now with the smell!!
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Comment by Stephen on June 2, 2008 5:30 pmSpontaneous Abort-O Bit ‘n’ Clots.
“Look what I found on the floor Mom, yum!”
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Tourette’s Shit Fuck Piss Snaps
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Hymen Pops
Hahahahaha! Good one.
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Corn OH MY GOD!! I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!! Crunch
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Marion THAT BITCH SET ME UP! Berries
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You’re My Least Favorite Child Chex
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Your Father Never Loved Mommy And Now I Have Proof He’s Fucking His Secretary And I Will Take Him For Everything He’s Got Flakes
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Now Everyone’s Uncomfortable Berries
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Larry King’s Old People’s Smell Krispies
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Sugary Circumcision ‘n’ Labiaplasty Chunks
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Change Your Own Diaper You Fucking Piece Of Shit Loops
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Bambi’s Dead Mother Clusters
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Well this thread is going in the Hall of Shame for SURE now.
For some reason I think this one could go on forever.
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Bill O’Reilly’s Loofah Lumps
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Comment by dri on June 2, 2008 6:12 pmStrangers Have The Best Candy Crunch
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Comment by dri on June 2, 2008 6:13 pmChoco Enimals
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:15 pmCinnamon Toast Cunts
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Cream of Creepy Bachelor Neighbor
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This Will Be Our LIttle Secret Crunch
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Heh, “someone” just put this thread on the sidebar at AoS and linked it to their comment.
Hubris Snaps
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Click the link on the sidebar
Clueless Puffs
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We Can Only Afford to Keep One of You Bran
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oh so it shows up on dave and laura’s comments so one of them
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:22 pmDay After Crunch Berries
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Comment by dri on June 2, 2008 6:22 pmMommy’s Going to Die Because of Something You Did Honey Bites
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We Can Only Afford to Keep One of You Bran
HAHAHAHAHA! Uh, I mean, that’s not very funny. Not at all.
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These Taste Better if you Throw a Screaming Tantrum on the Floor in the Cereal Aisle Chex
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It’s Your Fault Daddy Doesn’t Love Mommy Anymore Flakes
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:24 pmYour mom does Trix
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:25 pmReese’s Puffs Weed
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:27 pmLucky You Didn’t Get Crabs Charms
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Litter Box Clumpies
hahahaha, I call those almond roca
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Andrea Yates Got Away With It O’s
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:28 pmRaising Brats
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:29 pmHoney Bunches of Toads
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A Hot Packet of Gravel
(Only for privileged children)
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:30 pmDie You Fat Bastard Bars
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Comment by adolfo_velasquez on June 2, 2008 6:30 pmWop Tarts
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:30 pmFellayshi O’s!!!
ROFL!
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:33 pmI think I’m done
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Comment by adolfo_velasquez on June 2, 2008 6:33 pmFrosted Dandruff Flakes
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Jalapenos and Tom Collins Mixer
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The Odds that You Will Choke on this are Extremely Low, So Seriously, Just Don’t Even Think About it; We’re Sorry We Even Mentioned It Bran
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I slept with your sister grahams
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You like those “graham” ones don’t you mesa?
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Comment by adolfo_velasquez on June 2, 2008 6:41 pmfrosted mini-poisonous spiders
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Cinnamon Toast Cunts
Aprilwine, will you marry me?
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Mommy’s Going to Die Because of Something You Did Honey Bites
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
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Oh yeah, this is soooo gonna be some college Psych major’s thesis paper.
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Rock Hudson’s Nuts ‘n’ AIDS
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Let Go Of My Leg-O’s
HAHAHAHAHA!
I’m working out mesa, better watch out
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Larry Craig Is Not Gay Loops
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>>Heh, “someone” just put this thread on the sidebar at AoS and linked it to their comment.
laura brings the funny but dave brings the love
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awwwwwwwww.
so what are you trying to say dave?
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Comment by adolfo_velasquez on June 2, 2008 6:53 pmHoney Bunches of Cancer
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You Don’t Have Friends Because Your Parents Are Poor Berries
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:53 pmRosetta, where’s the ring?
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Uncle Dave’s Inappropriate Touch Crunch
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Honey Bunches of Cancer
hahahaha
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:55 pmLOL PJ!
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Do Another Cartwheel for Uncle Davey There’s a Good Girl Granola
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:56 pmDiaphragm Donut O’s
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 6:57 pm2 carots..ok I will!
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Coco Paralysis Neck Snaps
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2 carots..ok I will!
YAY!!!! You tell Mr Aprilwine and I will tell Mrs Rosetta.
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YAY!!!! You tell Mr Aprilwine and I will tell Mrs Rosetta.
Uh, excuse me rosetta? What does this have to do with cereal?
But if you guys decide to tell your significant others, can I watch?
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Tastes Like Shit Because Your Mom’s On Welfare Squares
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Kellogg’s Frosted Manbearpigs
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Motherfucking Crispies In This Motherfucking Box
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They’re All Scheming Against You Bran
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Daddy’s Thinking About Writing You Out of the WIll
*Bonus! Free Knife Inside!*
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Habanero Sardine ‘n’ Egg Crunch
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Because You’re Fat Diet And The Kids At School Don’t LIke You Diet Bran Flakes
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Skanky Os…for the 13 and going on 30 set!
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Don’t Taze Me BrO’s
Hahahaha! I like that one.
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You Get Cheap Cereal Cuz Mommy Needs This Money For Blow Flakes
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Mommy Has A Butt Plug In Her Top Dresser Drawer Chex
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Kellogg’s Red Tide Chunks
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You Put That Toy Down, That’s Mommy’s Little Pink Toy And She Has No Idea How It Got In Your Cereal Box Bran Flakes
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Mary Worth’s Sensible O’s
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No Amber Altert For You Pebbles
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Toasted Coat Hangers ‘n’ Electrical Outlets
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Third World Country Health Inspector Bran
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You Have No Friends Because You’re Autistic Flakes
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Radiator Fluid ‘N Jaundice
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You’re 13 & It’s Time To Start Having Babies Polygamist Squares
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Radiator Fluid ‘N Jaundice
Hahahaha. Good combo.
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Turkish Customs Cavity Search Grahams.
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Crying Causes Cancer Chex
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There Is A Sexual Predator Living Next Door Berries
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O’s! The Official Breakfast Cereal of Oprah Winfrey
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Teacher Needs to See You After Class Because You’ve Been Baaaaaaaaaaaad Flakes
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Kellogg’s Nuts, Clams & Fear
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Burqua Crunch Cereal, for that veiled taste of Koran and camel.
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If Mommy Loved You She Would Buy You A Pony O’s
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“Charles Kuralt-O-Meal”
HA!
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Al Franken’sberries: Each box is tax free!
Fixed it for ya!
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 7:54 pmMr Aprilwine didn’t take the news too well.
Pick up some Body Bag Buddies on your way home will ya?
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 7:55 pmCrack Oat Bran
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Kellogg’s All Post Cereal Sucks Donkey Nuts ‘n’ Honey
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Freecreditreport.com Berries
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 7:56 pmLife’s A Bitch Than You Die
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Pick up some Body Bag Buddies on your way home will ya?
Hahahaha. DONE!!
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Domestic “Disagreements” Flakes: One Committment That’s Easy to Keep!
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Someone needs to photoshop these.
Every single one of them.
By tomorrow at noon.
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 7:57 pmToss Your Cookie Crisp
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You Dad Killed Himself Because You Were Born Chex
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Technicolor Yawn Crunch: When Dinner Is Better for Breakfast!
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‘Mary Worth’s Sensible O’s”
Sobek’s 87 years old?
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Projectile Vomit: Its not just for dogs anymore.
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 7:59 pmYour Mom Left Because Your Dad Is A Fruit Loop
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Someone needs to photoshop these.
Every single one of them.
By tomorrow at noon.
HA!! The project would employ dozens.
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“Sobek’s 87 years old?”
Hey, you have to admit that’s a terrible name for children’s cereal.
Cookie Crips
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Outrage! Os. Killing Infidels Since 900 B.C.
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:02 pmMaple And Marijuana Squares
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Barney Frank’s Crackhouse’s Frosted Froot
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:03 pmAlmond and Afternoon Delight
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General Mills White Power Flakes
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:04 pmYou Left Your Panties In My Car Krispies
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Bolivian Bran — Now with 30% Fewer Tarantulas!
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:04 pmChocolate Frosted F Bombs
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Obam-Os Milk and Chocolate Cereal
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You’re A Fucking Loser Kill Yourself Krispies
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Fuzzy Wuzzy Faux-Prosperity – now with piano leg marshmallows!
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Someone needs to photoshop these.
I nominate, oh um, I don’t know………………sobek?
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:06 pmJimmy Crack Corn Flakes And I Don’t Care!
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AntiX
(Shenanigans or enemy of God? You decide with every bite!)
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:08 pmDonkey Kong Is Hung Crunch
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Comment by Don Carne on June 2, 2008 8:08 pmDingleberry Crunch
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Scatman’s Brown Mushy Squares
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Strawberry Ripple Cheery-Hos
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Bathhouse Specially-Frosted Flakes
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:13 pmSpecial K
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Obam-Os Milk and Chocolate Cereal
New and Improved
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:13 pm::::crickets::::::
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 8:15 pmMasterbating with Industrial Machinery Nut Crunch
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WickedPinto’s Pink Taco Marshmallow Delight
(I dunno, he made a big point about liking pink tacos.)
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WJC’s Blue Dress Cereal – just add milk!
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 8:16 pmBrown Eye Pops, Now with KY!
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Bathhouse Specially-Frosted Flakes
Hahahaha!
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:17 pmJohn Kerry Waffle Crisp
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Suicide Is Always An Option Bran
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:19 pmSmore Grahams Because You Eat Too Much You Fat Whore
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The Da Vinci Code Sacred Feminine Vesica Piscis Marshmallow Cereal
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 8:20 pmBilly Jeff’s Semen Flakes
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Smore Grahams Because You Eat Too Much You Fat Whore
HAHAHAHA!!!
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:22 pmFlatliner Crunch
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 8:23 pmComplete Idiots
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Halal Islamist Cereal – an explosive experience!
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Kellogg’s Waterboarding Chex
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Why Don’t You Eat Another Bowl You Fat Fucker Crunch
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The Video Professor Totally Nude Flakes
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Comment by bobaloo on June 2, 2008 9:07 pmGrapenuts.
What, it’s taken?
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Grapetesticles is available.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:12 pmPost Grope Nuts
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Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Flakes
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:13 pmHairy Ainus Swirls
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:14 pmBrown eye for the straight guy crunch
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:14 pmPoopsicles
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:15 pmSkid Marks Special Mix
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For shame.
Hahahaha!
And this all started with you asking about Sugar Pops. It’s your fault.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:16 pmIs that mustard or something else? O’s
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:17 pmAnal Wart Krisps
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:18 pmThe postman always knocks you up twice chex.
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 9:23 pmChris Matthew’s Chocolate and cream tingles
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“It’s your fault.”
I’m not taking the blame for this one. It was Mrs. Rosetta and her annal (sic-k) cereal that started this whole thing downhill.
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 9:33 pmSpecial K-Y.
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 9:36 pmMookie Crisp
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 9:38 pmTeeth-on-the-tip Smacks
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 9:41 pmUncle Pervy- Ohs
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Your Grandma Jean Is A Fucking Lesbian Toast Crunch
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 10:18 pmI gave your mom a dirty sanchez Pops
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OH MY FUCK!!!! CALL 9-1-1!!!!! Berries
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Daddy Didn’t Get The Job Unfrosted Disgusting Wheat Biscuits
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Geschwindigkeitsteufel Pops
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Comment by Tushar on June 2, 2008 10:36 pmThat queasy sensation pops
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The Milled Corn, Sugar, Corn Syrup, Molasses, Salt, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (One or More of: Coconut, Cottonseed, and Soybean), Sodium Ascorbate and Ascorbic Acid (Vitamin A), Niacinamide, Zinc Oxide, Reduced Iron, Wheat Starch, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride (Vitamin B6), Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Thiamin Hydrochloride (Vitamin B1), Vitamin A Palmitate, BHT, Annatto Color, Folic Acid, Vitamin D, and Vitamin B12 Pops.
(The original was in all caps so I typed that entire thing out. You’re welcome.)
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Comment by Dave on June 2, 2008 10:48 pmSchmucklets
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(The original was in all caps so I typed that entire thing out. You’re welcome.)
It would have been funnier with all caps.
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I am not one to shout at you all.
LOUD POPS! Perfect for Grandpa!
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 2, 2008 10:58 pmHeavy Flo Maxi Wheats
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Heavy Flo Maxi Wheats
With Special Sauce
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Comment by aprilwine on June 2, 2008 11:18 pm688 comments!! That’s Gotta Be A Record!
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 11:33 pmFrosted Shredded Man-Meat
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 11:35 pmSo-good-I-want-to-dip-my-balls-in-it Nut Crunch
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Comment by Rich J on June 2, 2008 11:36 pmHoney Bunches of The Barbed Cock of Satan
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 2, 2008 11:41 pmNaughty Bits
* with pictures of nekkid ladies in every box!
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 12:04 amI Wish You Were Never Born- Ee-Ohs. Daily Recommended Allowance of Regret in Every Spoonful.
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Spitzerios – risky business!
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 12:26 amToo-Bad-That-Abortion-Didn’t-Take Flakes. Two Scoops of Parental Neglect in every box.
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You guys are all disgusting. I’m appalled. What are you… a bunch of Morons?
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Comment by oh thats rich :l on June 3, 2008 1:38 amColumbine Smackeroos
Obamanatrix
Soylent Chex
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Larry Flynt’s Penicill-O’s
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 3, 2008 2:41 amScott McClellan Flakes.
Not just a cereal; a complete, descriptive sentence, too!
Now with more asshole!
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 3, 2008 2:43 amFarrakahn Flakes with two scoops of Hate Whitey in every bowl!
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 3, 2008 2:44 amInverted Nipple Crunch
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 3, 2008 2:44 amInverted NippIe Crunch
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 3, 2008 2:46 amgangrene crunch
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 3, 2008 2:47 amKorean Krispies ***FREE dog collar in every box***
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 3, 2008 2:48 amDementia Squares
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:28 amButtplug Bites – shove them up your …. mouth
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:28 amRat meat Rollups
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:29 amEssence of Sewer
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:35 amFrosted Owl Droppings
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:35 amA fistful of fistula.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:36 amTurducken flavored Cereal – now with more turds.
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BTW Tushar, I was not picking on you yesterday. I was giving rosetta a hard time and you were a casualty
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Post Frosted Sodomy Squares
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Lance Armstrong’s Nut ‘n’ Honey
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:03 amIf this one has already been done, I apologize:
Cornhole-ios
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:05 amCereal Killer Crunch
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 10:05 amNo probs, PJM
PJM flakes – with an extra helping of teh crazy.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 10:06 amI take that last one back. Don’t want to turn this into a flame thread.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 10:07 ampamplona meatballs – size depends on who won.
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PJM flakes – with an extra helping of teh crazy.
sounds delicious! ![;)]()
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:20 amInvading-your-personal-space-and-inserting-myself-in-your-conversation Clusters
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:29 amHoney Bunches of Awkward Silence
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 10:33 amHard Rock cereal – recommended by Dentists who want your business.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 10:34 amClusterfcuk Clusters
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:38 amLooking-Down-Your-Blouse Pops
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Daddy Spent Our Rent & Food Money On Hookers Unfrosted Weetabix
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You Suck At Kickball You Fat Fuck Loops
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:46 amI-Can-Do-This-All-Day-Because-I-My-Job-Sucks Flakes
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I TOLD YOU NO WIRE HANGERS!!! Chex
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 10:49 amSpanking the Monkey Crunch.
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:53 amWant to Touch My Monkey Pops
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:54 amPuffed Nipples
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:57 amGoing-For-1000 Clusters
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 10:59 amHorny Bunches of Dirty Old Men
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Don’t you Morons have anything better to do with your time?
(Wait… What was I thinking? Of course you don’t…)
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 11:15 amMoney Shot Facial Flakes
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Nigelflakes – provide your own milk!
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 11:18 amYeah, like surfing pr0n at work. That’s productive isn’t it?
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Office Crunch – crunchy cereal to drown our your boss’s useless droning!
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McCain Flakes – what your great-great-great-great-grandparents used to eat!
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Nigelflakes – provide your own milk!
Crap. I knew I should have known that was coming…er…going to happen.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 11:34 amHoney Bunches of Helen Thomas
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 11:40 amGranulated Jenkem-berries, with an extra helping of spite.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 11:56 ampoopsie-rolls – now in brown and vomit green
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Kid’s Cereal, Now With Actual Kids!!
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 12:35 pmGheylogg’s fabulous cereal v/s Queeri Os.
Hmmm….tough choice
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 1:10 pmNow that we have reached 750 comments, here are the most prolific people:
Sobek: 47 Comments
Mesablue: 61 Comments
Tushar: 76 Comments
PJ Momma: 86 Comments
Rosetta: 232 Comments!
Rosetta wins by a landslide!
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Surely Rich J has a boatload, no?
Did you count these by hand Tushar? Do you hate your job?
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 1:20 pmRich J has 25.
>>Did you count these by hand Tushar?
Uh, I am a Computer programmer. It took me 17 (or was it 19.8?) seconds to write that counting script.
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 1:54 pmI got a late start and I’m semi-retarded.
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 1:59 pmI should say that I am only semi-retarded, as opposed to fully retarded like Rosetta. Maybe I too can strive to be fully retarded.
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 2:01 pmI mean that as a compliment of course.
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That’s insane!! And embarrassing. 233 comments just by me is concerning. Hahaha.
When we’ve done these joke-a-lanches before, the thread’s eventually died down. I think maybe we got 300, maybe 400.
For some reason, kid’s cereal names is a more fertile topic.
*does detailed analysis on why that is*
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Maybe I too can strive to be fully retarded.
Rich J, you are closer than you know. Hahaha.
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It’s going to suck schwetty balls when I have to go back and pick the best of this list.
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Comment by aprilwine on June 3, 2008 2:55 pmApple Jack Schwetty Balls
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Fertile Flakes: Prefrred by 13 year old Polygamists Everywhere.
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Fwenchios alFiransiyyah – start capitulating to the Islamist horde!
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Steyn Crunch – become a West-supporting stud! Offend the Islamist hordes!
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Geoffy Delight – now with more graphs!
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Sobek Lord Ra Fayyumi Pops – mouth-crushing delight!
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I’m going to help this get to 1,000 comments. Even if I have to do it all by myself.
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Mujahidooooooooos – now with 72 virgins! (May or may not include 72 sexually inexperienced overweight over-80 males.)
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 5:40 pmMalt-O-Jihadi
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 5:42 pmToasted Jihadi Clusters- Now with more high explosive ordinance residue.
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Sab’un wa Ithnain Zabaib – a truly heavenly breakfast!
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Big-headed Infidelios – now with sword-shaped marshmallows!
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 5:44 pm…and schrapnel embedded in every morsel.
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Achashverosh Bites – coupon for a free beauty contest!
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 5:45 pmDammit. Wasn’t fast enough.
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 5:46 pmCamel Nuts
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Khaakestaar be-Khaakestaar, Gard be-Gard – Imadinnerjacket’s Post-Apocalyptic Cereal
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Camel Nuts
Now you can eat your favorite lover!
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Dirka Dirka Dirka Mohammend Jihad Bran Flakes.
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Comment by Rich J on June 3, 2008 5:57 pmI gotta go home now Toasties.
I won’t be able to beat this dead horse until much later tonight- ios
I have a life dammit Pops
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Hope to see you soon Bites
Thanks for your help thus far Crunch
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Khaakestaar be-Khaakestaar, Gard be-Gard – Imadinnerjacket’s Post-Apocalyptic Cereal
Of the funniest so far, that is 783rd of 783.
I think you may have lost your mind, Muslihoon.
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I may have lost my mind?
Sir, that has been accomplished, quite successfully, a long time ago.
(BTW, that means “Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust” in Persian.)
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I didn’t know the Persians had kid’s cereal.
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Glowios – Iran’s breakfast cereal when Israel is through with Iran’s nuclear facilities!
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Homo Crunch – Iran’s favorite breakfast (and lunch and dinner and supper and brunch and linner) cereal!
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Homo Smash – the Taliban’s favorite cereal for men!
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I Put a Jihad On You Bites – now you can be a mufti too!
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Barefoot, Pregnant, Shrouded, and Out of Sight – the Taliban’s favorite cereal for women!
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Stone Bites – eat for nutrition and then use to punish fornicating adultresses!
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Muslihoon, do you do drugs?
If not you might want to think about starting.
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Matzoh Ball and Chicken Broth Bites – you’re a growing boy; nosh, nu!
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The only drug I’m high on is life.
And sugar.
Mostly sugar.
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Brimley-Os – eat well or the diabeetees demon will possess you and elevate your blood sugar levels!
Wilford Crunch – eat and appease the demon-god of diabetes!
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Napa Delight – enjoy what California wines are known for: fruitiness.
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Flava Flav Pops – for the old, short, clock-wearing, insane celebrities!
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New York Bites – when you simply have to be certifiably insane and obnoxious!
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Vicky Pollard Cruchies – yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but yeah, summing or nuffink
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800 comments. Impressive.
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Ontari-O’s.
Every bit as exciting as you would expect from a cereal made in Canada.
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Kevin-Os – pushing amorous women into nettles since AD 498!
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Comment by aprilwine on June 3, 2008 7:09 pmMommy, Muslihoon and Rich J Are Scaring Me Krispies
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Cyanos-when you’re just sick of their shit.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 8:38 pmMusli, lay off the gulab-jamuns.
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The Oh My Gosh There Is So Much I Need To Do For My Class’s Group And I Don’t Want To Do It But I Have To Do It And By Tonight Crunchies.
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Gulab Jamun Rolls – for a sweet, sweet, hyperglycemic day!
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*shoves dynamite in tailpipe of thread*
*lights it*
*runs away*
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Until you close comments on this, I will not stop until it gets to 1,000.
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Feh. Dynamite is ineffective. I’m South Asian of Muslim descent, remember? Dynamite is a natural element for us!
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Dynamite-os! For good Muslim South Asians – eat ‘em or use ‘em on infidels!
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Pork Pops – the infidelicious cereal!
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Kevin-Os – pushing amorous women into nettles since AD 498!
nettles hurt. I’ve walked thru those before and it sucked big time. Actually I’ve touched them quite a bit as we had a very untamed backyard when I was a kid.
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Bangkokporn Pop Pop Pop – a Thai breakfast cereal for adults
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Gasolin-Os – Daddy Yankee’s explosive and expensive contribution to the breakfast industry
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Cereal Yechizqiyel – for gut yeshivish kinderlach
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Comment by lauraw on June 3, 2008 8:55 pmScabies
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The Hava Nagil-Os – the cereal to make you dance; hora!
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Comment by lauraw on June 3, 2008 8:55 pmChigger Bites
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Comment by lauraw on June 3, 2008 8:56 pmBigBox Of Tapeworms!
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Charlie Daniel Pops – for when Satan just won’t let go of you
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Comment by lauraw on June 3, 2008 8:58 pmThis should be an eternal thread, because the ideas really are endless. The only problem is that the mind gets fatigued and really funny things end up going ‘Eh.’
So it needs to be endless so you can view it with a clean brain from time to time for a laugh. I don’t know how you do that on this blog format. Can it have its own tab, or is it impossible to migrate it over there?
I don’t know how this thing works.
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Poopeos – what the guy in the picture at the top of the thread is making
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:24 pmGrunt O’s – now with no fiber whatsoever.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:25 pmTort eos – find a free lawyer inside
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Grunt O’s – now with no fiber whatsoever.
HAHAHAHAHA!
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:26 pmGooberios – breakfast, Texas style
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:27 pmMy avatar looks like my diet consists of nothing but Grunt Os
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:28 pmArctic O’s – frosted with real frost – a frostbite in every bite
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So it needs to be endless so you can view it with a clean brain from time to time for a laugh. I don’t know how you do that on this blog format. Can it have its own tab, or is it impossible to migrate it over there?
I think it’s supposed to go in the comment hall of shame which is in the left hand side bar.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:31 pmCaliforniO’s – a boobjob in every pack
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:32 pmBJ Clinton Chex – blowjobs and illicit sex.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:33 pmGoatse Grahams – Goes in with a crunch, comes out with a bang.
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:35 pmFuck O’s – gives you that screwed over feeling
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Californicat-Os – monogamy is for squares
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:36 pmCrapberry clusters
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:38 pmSmegma flakes – no need to add cream
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:39 pmBrokeback Biscuits – bring home the homo
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:41 pmFolsom Street Flakes – for a whipping good time
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 9:51 pmTarantul O’s – a taste that crawls up on you
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We Todd Did Crunch…for the commentors who keep flogging the dead horse in Dean Wormer’s Office.
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Masala Mix – for a fiery morning!
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Fire Island Flakes – lighten your loafers
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Soviet Pops – cereal eat you
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The Wright Crisps – for when you hate whitey and America
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 10:00 pmSum O’s – Japanese cereal for weight gain
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Yvan Eht Nioj Jacks – delicious cereal with harmless message, no subliminal message at all
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Comment by Tushar on June 3, 2008 10:08 pmJanet Reno Jacks – works as an aphrodisiac
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You forgot an “Off” there.
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Comment by Captain Thark on June 4, 2008 12:01 amMichael Jackson’s Sticky Sweet Surprise
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 12:37 amLooking in the window as you undress- ios
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 12:41 amSnake in the toilet as you squat to pee Clusters
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 12:50 amHairy Underarms- Their magically delicious
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 12:51 amThey’re, not their. Damn You Grammar Nazi in My Head Pops
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 9:31 amLindsay Grahams – for that unmistakable taste of douchebuggery.
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 9:32 amChucky Schumer Chex – now with extra smug
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 9:33 amCynthia McKinney Mix – wacky weirdness never tasted so ….. weird
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 9:34 amJames Webb Chex – turn the box upside down and put it in your mouth
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 9:35 amGeorge Allen loops – now with more Macaca Nuts.
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 9:54 amSharpton & Jackson Black Nut Crunch
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 10:34 amJohn McCain Crunch – enjoy the flavor of Maverick Nut
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James Webb Chex – turn the box upside down and put it in your mouth
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Excellent.
+ 10,000 points
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Comment by wiserbud on June 4, 2008 11:58 amBeating a Dead Horse Flakes
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Comment by A Dead Horse on June 4, 2008 12:27 pmIs this all you got?
Sheeeeeit, Ive had worse beatings from quadrapalegic coma patients…
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I don’t get the James Webb thing.
Clueless Chex – what Musli has every morning
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 1:30 pmMusli, James (or Jim) Webb is the new Virginia Dem Senator, who was previously Reagan’s Navy Secretary. He is a Vietnam Vet. He wrote a fiction book based in SE Asia, in which a small boy (not wearing clothes) runs to his father, the father picks him up, turns him upside doen, and ….um…. puts something in his mouth
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 1:44 pmTeddy Tumor Grahams
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 1:46 pmYour Mom’s Hot. Does She Put Out-ios
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 1:47 pmDaddy, I’m Pregnant Clusters
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 1:49 pmUnlucky Charms-Watch out for the cyanide capsule.
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Ok, now we’re in to repeating ideas…dead horse…cyanide…I declare FAIL!
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 3:10 pmFail-ios
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Oh, I remember that now, Tush! It caused quite a stir on the blogosphere. Thanks for the reminder.
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Hubbard Rocks – ’cause puffs, pops, crunch, crack, and whatnot are for the rich folks; we’re happy to just have rocks
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 7:52 pmPillow Bites- Served in only the finest penal institutions.
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Hubbard Rocks II – the best protection from Xenu!
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 7:54 pmRaisin Brains
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 7:55 pmLRon Flakes
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 7:57 pmYou got a purdy mouth Smacks
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 8:00 pmDrill Bits
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Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment Berries (with extra flying spittle)
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Comment by Rich J on June 4, 2008 8:05 pmMust find new inspiration to push to 1000. I’ll be right back. If I’m not back in 1 hour, assume I suffered some excrutiating death in pursuit of the Holy Grail of Worst Kids Cereal Names.
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Hahaha. RIch J, you have become obsessed haven’t you?
Have you ever commented here before this thread?
Hahahaha. Nice work.
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I like Rich J. Good addition.
Praise Flakes – what flakey people do
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You Will Get Killed On May 3, 2010 Loops
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Oh shit….I just found something FANTASTIC for this thread.
Hold please…
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Fab Froot Loops – what the Hostages male crowd seem to eat all day
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Oh. I think I just burned myself right there.
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Nonspecific Urinary Tract Infection Cream of Wheat.
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 8:25 pmButt Munch Crunch – with extra brown mustard
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Stupid Talking Bunny Smacks
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 8:27 pmChinese Lice Celear – with Lice and Rice
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 8:29 pmJail Special Cereal – with Jelly and Syrup
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Comment by Tushar on June 4, 2008 8:30 pmPooter Bran – with extra fiber and cream
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Strawberry Hemorrhoid Clusters
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Comment by aprilwine on June 4, 2008 8:39 pmBeaten Dead Horse Sugar Hooves
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Strawberry Hemorrhoid Clusters.
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Post coming. NEW cereal fun!!
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 4, 2008 8:47 pmThank Gawd! You done run over this cat until it’s flat!
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Comment by benshalom on June 4, 2008 9:36 pmJail Special Flakes – now with salad!
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 12:34 amUntil this thread I’ve been a serial, or better yet, a cereal lurker but mostly at Ace’s. I may have dropped a comment or two here way back when I was still blogging under various names. Ok, back to serious business.
Shut the fuck up or I’ll lock you little fuckers in the closet for two days Pops.
Not the Holy Grail, but fuck it.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 12:35 amI’ll give you something to cry about Smacks.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 12:36 amMom- Dad’s stroking out on the kitchen floor again Chex
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 12:38 amLeft side paralysis Clusters
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 12:40 amTossed Salad Puffs
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 12:41 amI don’t care anymore, I just want it to end Grahams
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 1:07 amTranny Surprise- A little extra penis in every bite.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 1:10 amGolden Shower Grahams
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 1:14 amThe Internet’s for Pr0n Flakes
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 1:17 amPerferated Colon Chex
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 1:18 amColonoscopy-Ohs
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:47 amWash Your Mouth Out With Soap Flakes
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:48 amDirty Diaper Chex
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:59 amSqueekhole Clusters
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Just for fun, I’m going to ban Rich J when this thread reaches 999 comments.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 10:01 amIts not an addiction. I can quit anytime.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 10:17 amWiserbud-Unless I can come up with 70 or so more comments in the next 2 hours, I don’t think that will be necessary. I will be away from the nets for the rest of the day abusing, I mean, catering to the whims of dozens of grade schoolers, and I have faith that Rosetta or Muslihoon will pick up the flag for me, continue the charge, and finish out the thread.
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maybe I’ll just close the thread at 999, just to make some heads explode.
I’m evil like that.
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I think KevlarChick should come over and make the 1,000th comment.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 10:47 amOn The Boss’ Dime Nuts
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 10:47 amUnemployment Chex
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Comment by Tushar on June 5, 2008 11:26 amSanity Chex
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Frosted After-birth Flakes
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 3:11 pmStimulus Chex…
HAHAHAHAHA! Priceless!
A+A+A+A+A+A+
Now with more intentional tax increases to pay for it!
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 3:13 pmBotox Flakes
Hope you don’t mind them drooling down your chin since you can’t control your facial muscles anymore!
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 3:13 pmObama Flakes with a Rezko in every pocket.
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 3:16 pmDiscontinued item:
DC Madam Bites
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:20 pmEar Wax Clusters
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:24 pmHoney Bunches of Irritable Bowels
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:24 pmSpastic Colon Pops
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:26 pmPJM’s Surgical Drain Flakes
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:28 pmBed Pan-cakes
Yes, I know that isn’t in the cereal category, but I had to do it.
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 8:29 pmDiverticulitis Clusters
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 8:29 pmThat would be iicky iicky
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:30 pmBooger Flickies
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:32 pmHey PJM. How’s those industrial strength drugs doin for you?
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Stimulus Chex
Nice one! This thread was great but your particular brand of dementia and stupidity was missed.
I didn’t expect that it would generate this number of comments. It was a spontaneous one and I didn’t think it would catch to be honest.
The next one I’ll make sure you’re around. And I think Rich J and Tushar will be good to go if they don’t spend all their mojo on cereal names.
Frosted Premature Ejaculation Berries
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:35 pmShooting My Wad Flakes
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:37 pmAngry Sex Nut Crunch
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:41 pmMilking A Load Berries
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 8:45 pmCap’n Stabbin Crunch.
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Rich J,
I think I asked this earlier but I don’t believe you saw the question.
Have commented on this site before this thread?
If no, why the hell not?
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richj prolly found us thru the business section on wordpress’ front page
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Don’t try to be funny when you’re on drugs.
Have you sneezed yet?
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that will kill me, oh hope i don’t………….already found out laughing’s a bitch
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:01 pmI think I anwered it, but it was way down the thread. Anyway, I have mostly been a lurker these past several months (years, whatever). I may have dropped a turd or two here when I was blogging under various names. I had actually forgotten about The Hostages (sorry) until I saw the link to the thread over at Ace’s. You know, unless I’m retarded, I could not see a link in his blogroll to here. So, I am happy to contribute my lack of any appreciable talent to the threads on this here Moron blog.
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Good thing you have drugs.
Also, did you see the side-bar tagline up top?
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Do you realize that you are now a mothertucker?
Just thought you should know.
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You know, unless I’m retarded, I could not see a link in his blogroll to here.
Rich J,
Those things aren’t mutually exclusive you know.
When you get sick of cereal names, you should check out the links in the Hall of Shame at the top of this blog.
We’ve do these joke-a-lanche threads occasionally and the Hall of Shame has the links. It’s good to have another prolific funny moron when we do these.
They have been the source of many tears of joy.
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hahaha, darn striaght less tummy. 5lbs of total nastiness gone
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cuz dave in texas loves us
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How are you even cogent?
Actually it’s probably not a bad thing that you’re up. Sleeping through the night would be a good thing.
That way you won’t see the lizards licking your drain hole in the middle of the night.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:11 pmI just suggested a thread in the Bart’s an Authoritarian thread. And I rolled through the Hall of Shame. Awesome.
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That way you won’t see the lizards licking your drain hole in the middle of the night.
I wonder if that sentence has ever been said in the history of time.
FIRST!!!
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:12 pm“That way you won’t see the lizards licking your drain hole in the middle of the night.”
and flies.
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 5, 2008 9:19 pmRich and Rosetta – The Days Inn is having a “Homo Special”. Go get a room at a reduced rate, willya?
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Hey losers, we’re only 27 comments away from 1,000.
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MCPO Airdale Lemon Party Crunch. Now with more Bart!
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Kellogg’s Fellatio Flakes ‘n’ Cunnilingus Crisp.
Free OFB comb INSIDE!!!
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That way you won’t see the lizards licking your drain hole in the middle of the night.
Thanks for the fucking nightmares I’m going to have now.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:26 pmMCPO- Glad your on the Days Inn mailing list for those kinda things. Next time I’ll check with you before going on some gay romp. You know all the good spots.
Homo Special K
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Now with more Bart!
HAHAHA!!!
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Daddy Backed Over Your Puppy With The Car Chex
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:28 pm“That way you won’t see the lizards licking your drain hole in the middle of the night.”
I didn’t know the folks over at LGF were in to that kinky anal shit.
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 5, 2008 9:28 pmLindsay & Samantha’s Cunny Crunch
Now with Hollywood Attention Whore Trading Cards inside!
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Mesablue’s Redheaded Psycho Vomit Chunks
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That way you won’t see the lizards licking your drain hole in the middle of the night.
OMFG!!!! Stupid mesa had to comment on that. I would have been blissfully ignorant as i hadn’t seen it.
that makes me cringe
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You’ll Live In This Dungeon Until You’re 18 Berries. Now with more dread!!!
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:32 pm15 to Go-ohs
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Thanks for the fucking nightmares I’m going to have now.
HAHAHAHA!!!! An offending two-fer!!
Score. A direct hit.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:33 pmLima Bean Berries
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 9:33 pmLeprosy Bits
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 9:33 pmGangrene Squares
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 5, 2008 9:34 pmNothing But Sugar Squares
Now with extra sugar!
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LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!! Fault-O-Meal
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:34 pmFlesh Eating Bacteria Bits
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 9:34 pmBone Protruding through Skin Crunchy Bits
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 9:34 pmWart-Os
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Tummy Nuggets
Now with drain tube syrup
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 9:35 pmBastard Bites
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Comment by MCPO Airdale on June 5, 2008 9:35 pmBy-Pass Bunches of Arterial Plaque!
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 9:36 pmYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
MINE!!!!!
at least I think so!!!
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Comment by Tushar on June 5, 2008 9:36 pmkos is a motherfucking turdburgler chex
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R. Kelly’s Golden Grahams
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 9:36 pmPJM-
Hope you feel bettah real soon!!! Rest assured that our mission was accomplished!
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:37 pmNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Head explodes.
Splattered Brain Bits
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hah, thank you licky licky and thank you again for the recipe ideas
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Comment by Tushar on June 5, 2008 9:39 pmPJM, don’t worry. Lizard saliva is aseptic.
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I think MCPO had the 1,000th comment.
He owes us each $20.
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Comment by Rich J on June 5, 2008 9:40 pmI need a drink.
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NOOOOOOOOO! i freaking hate them and i’m telling you i’m dead serious when i say they purposely jump on me. they wait in door jams and my really tall plants and strike as soon as i walk by. they are satan’s pet
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Comment by IickyIicky on June 5, 2008 9:44 pmMy bad. I posted, then refreshed, then scrolled… Maybe it hadn’t registered mine yet in the count.
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This Is My Last Comment On This Thread Bunches Of O’s*
*unless I think of something brilliant
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I can now die in peace. Thank you folkses.
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Me again, goin the rounds.
Honey Bunches of Hot Pockets
May 31, 2008
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: pajama momma . Comments: Comments Off on Worst Names For Kid’s Cereal
Checking Your Mom's Drawers for Hope&Change since March 2009 