Run, Linus! Run for your life!!!

It turns out that there’s a grove of lemon trees planted right next to the pumpkin patch, and it’s not The Great Pumpkin who’s “rising up.”

Get the fuck out of there, you fucking blockhead!


Well this is certainly an interesting post to wake up to.  Let’s see what some of our regulars have to say about it.  What do you think about this post, Advice Dog?

Okay then.  Asian Baby Jesus?  Any thoughts on this post?

Baby Jesus - Asian

There seems to be some concern in the H2 community regarding this post.  What do you think, WTFFace Jenkins?

wtfface 2

We have Kermit here with us.  Kermit, I believe you’ve seen this post.  What are your feelings?

Goatse Kermit

Well, there you have it.  Not a lot of support in the community for this post.  Back to you, Katie.

Critically Important Update!! [wiserbud]

I spare no expense when it comes to decorating for Halloween.


I Am Bat Dog


Make teh funneh.  New poat for Halloween Eve.

Big BOO! Friday

Hello Bearsharktopussies.  Welcome to the 2009 Halloween Edition of Big Boob Friday.  Your “Total Loser” costume is impressive.

First, if you were not around here last night, please go HERE and let me know if that applies to you.

Second, thank you wiserbud and the funny mothers that filled in for me in my absence.  The quality was high and I will thank you in advance for not trying to make me look bad in the future.  Please ask mesa and pajama momma for tips on how to do the worst BBF ever.

Third, eddiebear found a blog that’s almost as bad as JEFF OTTOMAN or CROSSED THE LINE!!.  Go HERE for the suck.

There are many funny pictures of concerning pumpkin art but this remains one of my favorites.  I want to party with the guy that did this.


Yes, I considered using Prisencolinensinainciusol as today’s song because it’s only the best fucking song ever.  However it’s not nearly scary enough.  When I was a little girl, my mom used to play songs like THIS for scary Halloween music.  Now you can play Cradle of Filth and make people cry and run away.  Freaks.

Although the models from the last few weeks were of excellent quality in their own right as hot chicks, there was a lack of emphasis on the Big in Big Boob Friday.  Please allow me to re-focus this esteemed page.

You may remember today’s model from such films as SpongeBob SquarePants and The Guns of Navarone.  However I have learned that she has decided to end her modeling career and pursue a more humanitarian profession.

Please drop trou and prepare to cough for your new nurse and model for today, Friday, October 30th, 2009, Faith Palmer.  YAAAAAAY!!!!!!

bbf - faith nurse

If you’re thinking fake, yeah…I had to check again.  No.  They’re real.  Further proof that God loves you and wants you to be happy.

Although many Democrats believe the world began when Obama was elected, save all the bad things he inherited from Bush, there was bunch of shit that happened before that.  For instance…

*  in 1735, President Number II: Electric Boogaloo John Adams was born in Braintree, Massachewshits.

in 1821, Russian novelist and the author of The Idiot, Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, was born.

*  in 1888, the first ballpoint pen was patented.  STFU Uniball.

in 1893, Charles Atlas was born and then immediately went to the beach and kicked sand in your face, 97-pound weakling.

*  in 1896, Ruth Gordon was born.  She was the first to sound the alarm of pet chimps.

*  in 1930, Turkey and Greece signed a treaty of friendship on FaceChimp and then talked about who they hated more, Jon or Kate.

*  in 1938, Orson Welles made a nation shit its pants with the broadcast of “War of the Worlds“.  One day later, “Whore of the Worlds” began filming in California.

*  in 1939, singer hippy Grace Slick was born in Chicago.

*  in 1945, Henry Winkler was born in NYC.  Ayyyyyyyyyyy.

*  in 1946, Andrea Mitchell was born.  She doesn’t know that Goerge Soros is a left-wing nutjob.  Hahahahahahahahaha!!  Supermassive idiot.

in 1953, Dr. Albert Schweitzer was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for being an articulate, bright, clean, nice-looking guy.

in 1991, the Mid East peace conference began in Madrid, Spain.

Happy Halloween cool kids!!  I hope you dress up (regularly scheduled crossdressing doesn’t count) this weekend and have some great fun.  I don’t really have plans which is okay with me.  That probably means I’ll be around to link pictures of you doing stupid shit.

*raises glass*

Here’s some witches brew with which I shall make a toast to you.

Now let’s be careful out there.  Cheers.

Hey….who ate all the fucking snickers?

Continue reading

It’s Like Barbie For Men

Husband sent me these. Just a placeholder until FIAF-BBF gets here.


More after the break Continue reading

Birth Announcement for Maximus

Please excuse the serious nature of this post.  This is actually more of an H2 Bulletin Board post so feel free to makeh teh funneh in the comments.  Good luck with that, xbrad.

Mrs. Rosetta and I are going to be sending out Max’s birth announcements next week and I want to send one to all of my friends that want to receive one.  So I wanted to put up one more notice in the event that you would like to receive one but haven’t emailed me your address yet. 

I especially want to send one to any of you that were so kind to send PattyAnn money for our wonderful flowers and a contribution to the Maximus fund.

As of now, I have addresses for the following cool peeps:












laura and scottw




Michael and Cathy


pajama momma





sohos and Count



If you emailed me your address and you’re not on that list, it’s because I’ve had some problems with my gmail so please resend.  Otherwise, if you would like to receive a birth announcement for the most awesome little man EVAR, please email your address to the following:

88rosetta88 @ gmail dot com

If you are normally one to have privacy concerns, please know that I will only use this to send Max’s birth announcement.

That is all.  Well, except for this.

You know you want to watch it again because it makes you feel good inside.  WATCH IT!!

*slaps you in the face*


Also, be on the lookout for Bearsharktopus.  This is the last known photograph.


Most Entertaining Video EVER

I think you guys are to be pleased with me for introducing this video of learning to you.

Foreignotica XVIII

Whilst in Spain, one of my co-workers introduced me to the music by a Belorussian guitarist called Didulya (actually, Дидюля or Didyulya). According to Wikipedia in Russian, his music is classified as flamenco. But he also seems to have a thing for Arabica, the following videos will show.

This one seems to be a nice meld between flamenco and Arabica. It’s one of his best, in my opinion.

Presenting “Жасмин” (“Zhasmin” or “Jasmin”) by Didyulya.

[Length = 3:40]

(As an aside, “Jasmine” or variants thereof are not Arabic names but rather descended from an Persian name: ياسمين Yasmeen.)

The next is also a very good one, melding guitaristry, flamenco (perhaps), and Arabica.

Presenting “Дорога в Багдад” (“Doroga v Bagdad” or “Road to Baghdad”) by Didyulya.

[Length = 5:28; yes, it’s long]

And while we’re on the topic of Arabica, here’s some belly dancing. (Although, honestly, I can’t tell the difference between this and something put on for more prurient purposes.) I found one video, which seemed good except it had the same song for 7 minutes, was of bad quality, and was badly shot. So I found a Turkish belly dancer (Didem).

Presenting “Turkish Belly Dance – Didem”.

[Length = 5:10; yes, it’s long, but will teh maenner really complain?]

This is for Jewstin and teh wimmens: a male belly dancer! There were a few other male belly dancers, but they did not seem to fit the model that The Hostages seem to like; this Jamil was the manliest man out there.

Presenting “Jamil Male Belly Dancer”.

[Length = 5:15]

HHD – Handyman Edition

Happy Hump Day!  If you need some work done around the place, you might consider hiring one of these fellows.  Also, you could borrow a claw hammer and introduce the business end to Michael’s knee-caps.

Carter Oosterhouse has a television show or a radio program or something.


Jesse Metcalfe only pretends to be a gardener on television, but Jazz only pretends to be human, so STFU.


I feel bad for Rib Hillis from Home Makeover.  His parents must have hated him to name him Rib.


Anybody else feel like a Coke?


That’s Better…But Not By Much

It was getting a little winfrey in here, so rather than having a “Damn, Shaniqua!” moment that would paint us all as racists, I thought XBrad’s and Sean’s home movies would be an improvement.


Black Eyed Peas

Oprah’s 24th Season Kick-Off Party.

OK, I know we hate Oprah’s politics, but Oprah is actually a rather admirable and likeable person, and this was actually a cool event.  Not the “coolest thing ever,” as Oprah claimed, but still, pretty cool.   A genuine feelgood party.  Give her some credit.