Hmmmmm? The red past or the blue paste? Always a tough decision on a Friday. Whatever you do, don’t eat the brown paste. Roamy spiked it with something she brought home from the lab.
I wrote this song last night for the MSNBC crew covering the RNC. I didn’t watch any of the commentary until yesterday, but it’s pretty clear to me that in addition to shitting their collective pants on live TeeVee, they probably don’t have much of a company softball team. Well, except for that Maddow fella. He looks pretty good.
I grabbed the BBF pictures a few days ago, and I’ve already forgotten her name. I’m just going to make this part up, because no one actually reads the posts here, and who the fuck cares anyway? AMIRIGHT? So..today’s model is a 19 year old coed from Ethiopia. She is 5’10” and tips the scales at 120 pounds. Her measurements are 38 pig- 44 hippo- 42pig. Please welcome…Shaneequa Jones!!!!!!
This is a very sad story about a bear…
Everybody should heed the warnings not to feed wildlife because they become dependent and don’t forage for themselves any longer. It is such a tragedy to see what has been done to our country’s wildlife. The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect U.S. wildlife.
One of my frients gave me ‘The Book of Horrible Questions’ a few years back, and I just realized that everyone here is probably sick enough to either laugh at, or answer some of these conundrums. So here we go, the first in a long series of plagiarism:
IF NOBODY EVER KNEW, WOULD YOU…
1. Hostages Only: Have wild sex with your teenage babysitter, (or any other teenage girl)?
2. Hostagettes Only: Have wild sex with your local high school’s football or basketball star?
3. Hostagettes Only: Have the man in your life kidnapped, surgically operated on to enlarge (or reduce) his penis and returned to you in perfect health?
4. Hostages Only: Literally wring the neck of your mother-in-law, or father-in-law, or, if you aren’t married, anyone else in your mate’s family?
5. Clean out the contents of a cash drawer from your local bank?
6. The entire safe? (What the hell, it’s insured.)
7. Spike your least favorite person’s coffee with LSD?
8. Personally beat to a bruised and bloody pulp the preteenage neighborhood bully how has been picking on your child?
9. Put a thumbtack on your boss’s seat and watch while he or she sits down?
Good morning and welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day. Three Doors Down played at the RNC last night. My favorite song by them isn’t a up-and-at-’em song, so I give you this one instead.
Let’s see who’s in the HHD folder for today. Howdy.
(wherein I provide content in an attempt to make this place more like a blog and less like a chat room)
The sunuvabitch is incredibly handsome. He never has to work out and yet he has the perfect body. Strong as all hell, x-ray vision, home in the beautiful Arctic Circle and, though I have no proof of this other than listening to Xbrad talk about his fevered Superman fan-fic, I’m also going to assume he has a huge dick.
Plus, he can fly.
And now this???
Now he has the hottest chick in comic book history as well?!?!1!? Fucking prick bastard. HEY! SUPERMAN! HOW’S ABOUT LEAVING A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR US MERE MORTALS, HUH? You greedy fuck. Continue reading
Things I’ve learned in the last two days:
1) If a new video game arrives on Friday, it can eat your weekend.
2) Rain is the only thing that lets me sleep past 630.
3) Plan-B primarily functions by delaying ovulation.
It’s raining like mad here, which is a pleasant surprise, but I can’t remember the last time it rained when the sun was up, so it’s also sort of creepy.
Afternoon, titty oglers. First, a big thank you to Cyn for not being Hotspur. You have no idea how dangerously close we were to looking at 1920’s boudoir drawings last week. Being depraved is an art form, and Cyn knows whats up.
I wrote this song way back in 1975 so Cyn’s little man would have a place to start in his exploration of all things FUNKY. As Dave noted, lesson one for bass players is learning to catch panties. Lesson two is you do not talk about…wait. Wrong lesson.
Today’s lass, according to her Facefuck page is a model, actress, and blogger. Her resume shows an impressive range of talents, mostly related to her giant, outsized, personality. Please welcome Russia’s favorite titmouse, Mia Zarring!!!!!