If I had a nickel for everytime someone compared me to Einstein I would have…shoot I can’t do the math

So, I was waiting for HHD when I realized DUH! It is only Tuesday.

Way to go genius…

I think the days have all begun to run together.

Either that, or I am just stupid. SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!

The other day someone (I think Rosetta) brought up Big Audio Dynamite and I have had this song in my head ever since.

Happy Anniversary Wiserspud and Wife!

Does anyone wanna play a game?

Please let me know if I have crossed the

The most amazing forst four months…

Since the last idiot that tried to ignore reality and then spend our country out of existence…

Apologies for the push down of the push down.

Nicey-Nice

Spendulus, Crap-and-Tax, OCare, and the attendant taint licking rah-rah crowd get my blood aboilin’.  What we really need is some sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows (no fucking unicorns allowed!  TALK SHIT ABOUT SKITTLES!!!).

Isn’t that better?  Now let’s all pay left-handed compliments to one another and try to make Rosetta cry.

I’ll start.

Sohos is pretty cute when she scrapes all that make-up off her face.

Oh, and Eddiebear?  I’m really proud that you finally learned how to use a washcloth.

Wheeew! That Last Thread Smells Worse Than Obama’s Excuses!

I think it was just an experiment to see how long a thread with “zombie” in the title could stink up this place.   I’m sorry, but it was worse than that dish in the bad of the fridge at work.  You know the one.  The one no one will claim and has been there longer than anyone can remember?  The one that starts rattling when it knows your the last one in the office and working late?  Yeah, that one.  Anyway, it seems like a perfect time to honor the HopeyChangey Zeitgeist loose in the land, and start a discussion about the coming Obama HellCare that will be imposed on us all.  I’ll go first. 

It will be a lot easier driving around on Sunday without those pesky old people, who will be dying at home on those pain pills, since they won’t rate surgery anymore.  Your turn.

Zombies Among Us

Many of you encounter Zombie every day. You may not recognize them all. There are several types.

Stories of zombies originated in the Afro-Caribbean spiritual belief system of Vodou, which told of the people being controlled as laborers by a powerful sorcerer.

Modern zombies are typically depicted in popular culture as mindless, unfeeling monsters with a hunger for human brains and flesh. Typically, these creatures can sustain damage far beyond that of a normal, living human. Generally these can only be killed by a wound to the head, such as a headshot, and can pass whatever syndrome that causes their condition onto others.

There is however a type of Zombie so frightful, so terrifying and so relentless in it’s mindless pursuit of it’s master’s will, that the mere mention of it’s name can cause seizures in some of The Hostages.  What is it??

IT’S THE DNC OBAMAZOMBIE!!!!!

Car repair tips for the ladies

When your car is running poorly, here’s a few things you may want to check before calling the mechanic.

1) Does the car have gas?

2) Is the “check engine” light blinking or is it just on?

3) Do you know what the check engine light is?

4) Are you using the right key?

5) Have you tried replacing the air in the tires?

And, if all else fails, be sure to check the oil plug.

I’m sure my fellow Hostages can provide even more useful advice.

Sunday Autoschediastic Callipygian Post

Someone please Google “2 Girls, 1 Finger”, watch the video and report back on what it is.

I’ve posted this video in the past but here it is again because I love it.  For some reason that I can’t explain, it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.  I bet the guy that made this is fun to party with.

Hey, whatcha watchin’?

Saturday’s Cornucopia of Crap

I think I have a mild form of ADD.  I can focus long to finish a crossword or cook a meal but longer than that and I feel the need to do something else.  That is one of the reasons I find this so amazing.

Huh?

Reminder: The ABJ is watching you.

Young Rosetta was a musical genius

What happened?

Also, an awesome Hostages documentary.

It’s a little NSFW for fake nudie bits.

Don’t Act Like This Doesn’t Make You

think of b-rad.