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Covid 2021

Hi asswipes. I’m basically stuck with permanent whiplash as we learn that mostly peaceful protests are terrorist attacks punishable by death, cops are heroes for shooting unarmed women, patriotism is doing what you’re told – not dissenting, and questioning the integrity of an election is a nut job conspiracy theory. How does one square these circles? Oh right. Shut up, that’s how.

The narrative. It’s always about the fucking narrative with these people. Given the past few months and the total reversal of everything the Left believed in, this is my best guess for the narratives of 2021.

January 2021

Dark days my friends. Dark days™. If only that racist Donald Trump hadn’t created Covid 19 as a way to kill black people, we’d be living in a true paradise of equality. It’s only because of Trump and his supporters that we have to deal with Covid at all. Did we mention that he’s a Russian spy for real? Perhaps you’ve forgotten so we’ll have to remind for a few days mostly because he can’t really defend himself now that he’s been silenced completely. 

February 2021

The Biden Tax Plan will increase taxes on the wealthiest Americans from 38% to 28% and the bottom 99% will see a reduction from 28% to 38%. Oh happy days! Everyone is going to be rich and evil people like Donald Trump will finally pay their fair share. Newly minted billionaire Barak Obama has graciously decided to pay his full salary of no dollars to the US Treasury in order to single handedly balance the budget in less than a year. Praise be Obama and Biden, but mostly Obama.

March 2021

The country formerly known as Syria, now called Trumpistan is most certainly building nuke-u-ler weapons and we should do something about that right now. Colin Powell personally parachuted in behind enemy lines with Brian Williams, 2 clicks from a cavalry of US birds – helicopters for the non elite soldiers – and found what appears to be a white substance that we’re are 100% sure is nuke-u-ler dust. Everyone agrees, including arch conservative anti-war Senator Lindsey Graham, and we need to send white Southern boys to die in the capital Trumpallujah in order to combat this grave threat to US democracy. If we don’t intervene in the Trumpistan civil war that has been raging for a decade, it’ll go on for another year or so. Can’t have that. We need to keep this fight going until the first troops deployed are old enough to see their kids serve in the same short, 20 year war. We have to fight the Trumpistan Civil War over there so we don’t have to fight it here. 

April 2021

Biden is like Jesus but with a six pack, sunglasses, and he can’t be killed. Biden is more like god but also like Jesus. And Allah if you’re into that sort of thing. We only know a little about religion from a Religious Studies class at Goucher College but we’re confident that Biden is like all the Gods but better because of his abs and sunglasses. Did you know Biden has a Peloton? I mean, how cool is that? I bet he rides it all the time with his abs showing just like Jesus.

May 2021

May is a time of reflection and healing. In order to reflect the healing, Joe Biden will begin a nationwide crackdown on white supremacist groups. The list includes Wall Mart shoppers, the staff of Forbes, everyone living in the South except Georgia, anyone who uses the internet to share a meme, writers at the Wall Street Journal, National Review, and all NeverTrumpers, country music fans, black men who voted for Trump, Nascar (except for Bubba Wallace) and the white girl own the View. All of these people will need to report to their local train station and board at platform 9 and three quarters. It’s funny because they’ll think they are going to Hogwarts but really they’ll be getting a different kind of magic.

In addition to these glorious reforms, Joe Biden will be taking the month off. He sprained his abs while shooting his 16th straight hole in one. The bandages on his face are incidental and not at all because his face tore like an overworked pizza dough while undergoing his 9th face lift.

June 2021

Donald Trump and his supporters created the hype and fear around Covid to try to steal the election from Joe Biden. Thanks to the hard work of Joe Biden, campaigning tirelessly on your behalf, he was able to overcome the media persecution, the censorship, and the efforts of big tech, the favoritism for Trump of our elite institutions and corporations, the obvious election fraud, and the scurrilous lie that Covid was a danger to your health in order to beat Donald Trump in 2020. Take off the mask bigot!

July 2021 

Recovery Summer IV!!!!!!! The unemployment rate for Americans has reached an all time low of 25% and average earnings, saved, created, or completely made up have increased to 120 million dollars per hour, as long as that hour is on the Tuesday where Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos volunteered at a soup kitchen for as long as it took to get a picture.

Second half of the year to follow! 

 

IMPOTENT UPDATE, ASSWIPES!!!!!!!!

January 21, 2021
Categories: ann coulter, asshat anonymous, BANGLAR!, Barack Obama, barely passable trannies, By The Beard Of Odin!, condom free septic tank, cool tunes, Coonskin, Grippe, islands in the stream, It's OK to be Ghey - or so teh Pope doth say, Marez-ee-dotes, Master Henry, no wait ---- a TRULY Amazing Post, Regaling the old Rumpus Room, Sodium Chloride Fornication, Suddenly Sumo, The Religion of Peace, The Religion of Piece, Touser Snake Lovers Anonymous, transphobe, your mom is a fish monger, Your mom likes this, your mom loves felt love, Your Mom LOVES my snake juice, Your Welcome Hotspur, ZOMFG!!11ty! . . Author: MJ . Comments: 129 Comments

HHD

Welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.

I’m going to do my best to focus on good things today.

Now for the hunks. The theme today is “Evans”.

Continue reading →

January 20, 2021
Categories: #Problematic, 7 of 9 fucks not given, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, As Little as Possible, BANGLAR COFFEE, BANGLAR!, beefcake, Booze, BroCav wants one of you lame bastigae to create a recipe category - i see nothing good coming of that - but who am i to criticize the genius of the ppl around this chat room: salt to taste, Bunker Pants!, Crime and Punishment, Fire melt steel mantra, FUCK YOU ICE, grope em if you got em, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, Muddle My Mint, No more wire hangers, Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, stupid fucking hippies, Your mom likes this, Your mom sends her love . . Author: roamingfirehydrant . Comments: 142 Comments

Choose Joy

Lots of bad stuff happening. I think we all look around at the world and can’t really believe this nightmare is reality. Lockdowns. Censorship. Stolen elections. Retribution. Fear. Panic. Violence.

I’m not a very emotional person but when I think of the attempts to silence millions of people in our fair country I’m brought to tears. This is the only reason that I become remotely political. When you strip away all of the issues – judges, tax rates, healthcare, race – all of the bullshit, you’re only left with the divine gift of free expression. Either we have it or we don’t.

The beauty of America is (was – hotspur) the belief that we can work out ideas, discuss difficult issues, fight over them, and ultimately come to conclusions that are objectively true and also moral. If all topics that the Left doesn’t favor or won’t benefit them are off limits then the compact is broken. They are attempting to achieve power by silencing their political opponents, which is just another attempt to reduce the divinity of man and subjugate him.

Continue reading →

January 14, 2021
Categories: #DeepanalBumpParty, #hashtag, Beret, Beriberi, Big Stones, By The Beard Of Odin!, condom free septic tank, conspiracy theory, Consumption, Dang. I mean...dang., DDH, Fourth Grade, Fuck golf, FUCK SALT!!!, Fuck the GOP, H2 Pets, H2 Wedding, illuminati, Incisor, Kinky Afro, Not yo baby, Plumbing, Safety, Sandra Fluke, Scurvy, swinging with friends, Tails you lose, The More You Know, whatever, Where's Cyn?, Where's MJ?, Where's Thor?, Your mom likes this, Your Mom LOVES my snake juice, Your mom should be on the new ten, your mom's flower, Your Welcome Hotspur . . Author: MJ . Comments: 106 Comments

HHD

Welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.

Gah, the last HHD poat had JEF, let’s do better today. First, a song. (waves at BlackisWhite)

Time for the hunks.

Continue reading →

January 13, 2021
Categories: #indogyears, 7 of 9 fucks not given, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, As Little as Possible, BANGLAR!, beefcake, BOOP!, Booze, Crime and Punishment, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, Muddle My Mint, Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, Your mom likes this . Tags: Christmas is over . Author: roamingfirehydrant . Comments: 159 Comments

The Great Reset…of the Thursday Post

“For most on the Left political violence is a dial they can have turned up or down as the situation dictates – usually driven by externals. Dial down for sit-ins and “peaceful” marches, dial-up for destruction of property, assault, and murder.

For most on the Right? It’s an on-off switch. The “off” pole is labeled “Vote”, the “on” pole is labeled “Shoot Fucking Everyone”.

I suspect more than a few switches were flipped yesterday. As such, I further suspect that things are fixing to get sporty around here.”

This is a quote from a commenter at the mothership that made a lot of sense to me. I’ve seen it in various forms over the years and I’ve come to believe it’s true. The Left tends to use political violence much more than the Right, but when the Right has had enough – hoo boy. Stand back. I make this observation not just as an American, but across post Enlightenment Europe as well.

And I think the question is, what do we do going forward?


Continue reading →

January 7, 2021
Categories: # Hashtag, #indogyears, barely passable trannies, Baseball, Birfday, birthday beating for bro-cav, Cheese Log Guzzler, Cheez Wiz, Does this look infected?, dog love, GOP Assholes, Gotta tattooed tit say number 13, Gout! Gout! Let it all out!, Hot Diggity Dog, Hot-n-tot's birthday beating, I used to be funneh and shit, is there such a thing as bad head, Kenya, Knockers, Marathon not a sprint, Marez-ee-dotes, show me your tits, The 1%, the big OOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU WISH, You're a douchenozzle for playing the Rosetta card, Your mom likes this, your mom's flower . . Author: MJ . Comments: 216 Comments

HHD

Welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.

Getting ready to say goodbye to 2020.

Now for the hunks.

Continue reading →

December 30, 2020
Categories: 1979 Bitchez, 7 of 9 fucks not given, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, As Little as Possible, BANGLAR!, beefcake, BOOP!, Booze, Crime and Punishment, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, Muddle My Mint, Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, Your mom likes this . Tags: auld lang syne, mistletoe is still up . Author: roamingfirehydrant . Comments: 166 Comments

HHD

Welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.

Some new music to get into the Christmas mood.

Now for the hunks.

Continue reading →

December 23, 2020
Categories: 1979 Bitchez, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, As Little as Possible, BANGLAR!, beefcake, BOOP!, Booze, Crime and Punishment, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, Muddle My Mint, Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, Your mom likes this . Tags: panty-melter . Author: roamingfirehydrant . Comments: 119 Comments

HHD

Welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.

Some more old music to get into the Christmas mood.

Now for the hunks.
Going to watch “The Bishop’s Wife” sometime in the next week.

Continue reading →

December 16, 2020
Categories: 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, As Little as Possible, BANGLAR!, beefcake, BOOP!, Booze, Crime and Punishment, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, Moon Pie Smash, Muddle My Mint, Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, Your mom likes this . Tags: panty-melter . Author: roamingfirehydrant . Comments: 141 Comments

HHD

Welcome to another edition of Hunky Hump Day.

Some music to get into the Christmas mood. My parents had Nat King Cole’s version of this, and I don’t hear it on the radio very often.

Now for the hunks.
Yesterday’s birthday boy Matthias Schoenaerts.

Continue reading →

December 9, 2020
Categories: 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, As Little as Possible, BANGLAR!, beefcake, BOOP!, Booze, Crime and Punishment, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, Moon Pie Smash, Muddle My Mint, Say "What" Again, Space pens, STFU, Your mom likes this . . Author: roamingfirehydrant . Comments: 130 Comments

Weird Cool

Googled “Weird Song of the Day”. You’re welcome.

Continue reading →

December 1, 2020
Categories: 1979 Bitchez, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, pelvic rest, Pleurisy, Strap On Anonymous, Tincture of iodine, Your mom likes this, Your Welcome Hotspur . . Author: Jay in Ames . Comments: 224 Comments

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