The View From My Ass

Hey Asian Baby Jesus, what did you think about that last post?

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Jack Straw, Swedish policeman.

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Worst Parent Ever.

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What the fuck is this shit.

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Seventh in a series: “Cats Don’t Give a Fuck”

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Meanwhile…at the next meatup…

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Hey, where’s MCPO?  What?  You let him go to the beach by himself?  Oh shit…

What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate

Funny how my views differ from the fuckleeched fuckheaded fuckponies in Washington.

Funny how the repeated protests, marches, polls, and speeches telling the Beltway Class that We the People did not and still do not want what Obama and the Democrats are selling are ignored.

Funny how repeated mentions that ignoring the will of the people have been ignored by Our Betters.

And funny how our warnings to the elected class that ignoring us will lead to their electoral doom, how vocal we have been and will continue to be, and how their fortunes continue to sink, they dig in and ramp up the assholia to 11.

That’s right, Beltway Class, here is what I have to say to you since you feel compelled to ignore us:

Well, that, and then this:

My favorite Saturday Morning things

Getting the remote…

Reading the comics…

Grabbing a bowl of cereal…

And watching cartoons…anybody remember this one?

Friday Night Spooky Movies

A Hostages Entertainment Production
(Okay, what it really is, is a faster post than the last one which was grasping for fuel as it tried to climb up even the most meager of hills … so don’t complain.)

Friday Night Letdown

Special Update! wiserbud makes a movie! [brewfan]

Big Booya Friday

Hello.  Welcome to Big Boob Friday, monkeys.  MJ!!  JUICEBOX!!  NOW!!

I could play the guitar like this if I wanted to.  I just don’t want to.

The BBF Research Department fucking LOVES the new Google Images search.  It seems to have been formatted specifically for finding new hot chicks for this esteemed page.

Our lovely featured model for today was born May 7, 1980 in Wirral, Merseyside United Kingdom. She is a short stack at 5’4″ and weighs 106 pounds. At least according to the bio I read. She’s a full figured real woman so maybe she weighs 106 pounds on the moon.

Her locker combination is 38F-26-36. Which comes in handy because she is an actress! Yeah! You may know her from such classics as Busty Dildo Lovers #4. Actually I think that’s the only one. Maybe she’ll star in Edward Penishands II: Michael J. Fox.

Please stop hiring illegal immigrants for a second and give a warm Big Boob Friday round of applause to your model for today, July 30, 2010, Michelle Monaghan!! YAY!!

NICE!! I like that pic. Okay…here is this week’s attempt to help you not be a fucking dunce. On this day…

* in 1836, the first English newspaper was published in Hawaii.

* in 1863, Henry Ford was born in Dearborn Township, Michigan.

* in 1863, racist President Lincoln issued the “eye-for-an-eye” order to shoot a rebel prisoner for every black prisoner shot.

* in 1909, the US Army accepted delivery of the first military airplane.

* in 1928, George Eastman demonstrated the first color movie.

* in 1929, puppet master and acid tripper Sid Kroft was born in Athens Greece.

* in 1939, smoking hot chick Eleanor Smeal, future NOW leader, was born.  I don’t care what you look like, if your last name is Smeal you’re an ugly motherfucker.

* in 1941, Paul Anka was born in Ottawa Ontario.

* in 1942, FDR signed the bill creating the Women’s Navy Auxiliary Agency (WAVES).

* in 1945, excellent jazz saxophonist David Sanborn was born.

* in 1947, Arnold Schwarzenegger vas bourn een Austria, not Caleeforneea.

* in 1956, the US motto “In God We Trust” was authorized.  Atheist whining crybabies hardest hit.

* in 1965, LBJ signed the Medicare bill and hastened the bankruptcy of the country.  Good job, asshole.

* in 1975, Jimmy Hoffa disappeared in suburban Detroit.

Fin.

I don’t have any real plans for this weekend which means that I will likely entertain myself by having some adult beverages, watching a flick or two and making fun of you for being such a loser.

Whatever you do, remember…when you see a man of worth, think of how you may emulate him; when you see one who is unworthy, examine yourself, you massive typhoon of douche.

CHEERS!!

Where’s BBF (The Lament of Captain Placeholder)?

Waiting for BBF sucks, and the last poat was slow, so we need a place holder. Place holders suck, too, though. And so does this video, called “The Lament of Captain Placeholder.” Don’t watch it. I mean it.

I told you. It sucked. It was like “Puff The Magic Dragon” meets Pirate Tron.

Anyway, have at it.

I think I’ve found my next career!!

I want to work for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration!!!

I was looking at the accuracy of the NOAA’s hurricanes predictions since 2002, wondering how their estimates and accuracy has changed over the last decade.

They started out pretty  well, then were all over the place with their estimates between 2004 and 2007.  In fact, they underestimated events in all three categories (named storms, hurricanes and major hurricanes) in 2005 (the year of Katrina), then wildly over-estimated in 2006, being high in all three categories.

Anyway, their overall accuracy rate since 2002 works out to them being right ~46% 0f the time.  (to you idiots, that’s less than half the time.)  To be fair, they do give their estimates a percentage of confidence, which can range anywhere from 50% to 75%.  Wow, that’s pretty confident, huh?  So, we’re confident that, half the time, we will be right about half the time.  Nice work if you can get it, huh?

So, with this in mind and after exhaustive research, I hereby declare myself an expert in tropical storms and hurricanes and make the following predictions for  2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013 (with a confidence rating 50%.  I’m either gonna be right or wrong.)   MUST CREDIT WISERBUD!!!:

2010:   between 9 and 17 named storms, between 4 and 10 hurricanes and between 2 and 5 major hurricanes.

2011:   between 9 and 17 named storms, between 4 and 10 hurricanes and between 2 and 5 major hurricanes.

2012:   between 9 and 17 named storms, between 4 and 10 hurricanes and between 2 and 5 major hurricanes.

2013:   between 9 and 17 named storms, between 4 and 10 hurricanes and between 2 and 5 major hurricanes.

I will be tracking my predictions and will report back to you in 2014.  Which, by the way, is more than the NOAA does.

Now. all I needs now is a really cool logo and then, to just sit back and wait for the mad grant money to start flowing in.

Oh, and please, let’s be sure to destroy our entire economy by implementing economic policies based on the climate predictions of people who can’t even correctly estimate the number of storms we should expect each year better than half the time.

Alvin Greene’s new campaign video

Previewed here first before anywhere else, including Reno!

New Poast. NOW WITH FUCKING JAM!!

That last post was slower than Tushar getting a green card.

Meanwhile…at the idiot Westboro Baptist Church…

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Will any singer ever be this cool again?  I doubt it.

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I find your lack of diapering me disturbing.