Donde estan mis pantalones?

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Maximum Minimum Thursday

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Oh hi! I’m just a maximally creepy dolphin making sure your doors and windows are secure

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Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

BBF

Hello hummers and dogs who know the words, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model today was born on March 19, 1995 in Basingstoke, Hampshire, England.  She measures 30G-24-32 on the headturner scale, and stands 5’10” and the obligatory 125 lbs.  Please get off the barre and welcome, Miss Jamie Love aka Alice Brookes!

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Worst Secret Santa Gifts Evah

We’re entering one of the most wonderful times of the year in a Hostage’s life: Secreting Santa Time! In addition to the thrill of giving we also get the pleasure of receiving (SYWM). First, a little Christmas music to set the mood.

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