Mittelschmerz Bloviation Thursday

Today’s musical selection is kind of mellow. Not sure why I thought of it recently. It conjures up a very specific memory of driving back to MA after a trip to VT. Some local station was playing it and it just struck a chord with me that day. Yeah, I know, ghey.

The northern town is in England but hey, I lived in a northern town, so WTF.

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H2 Membership Drive

We’re in the middle of our annual membership drive here at the Hostages and so far it’s been a big disappointment. “Big disappointment”. Those are words most hostages have heard directed at them, mostly as kids, and with a few rare exceptions, not as adults. Now we get to direct that phrase at others. And by others I mean politicians. And the guy who sold you the “Herbal Viagra” behind the Quik E Mart. That shit’s like Russian Roulette…it’s either Limp Bizkit or you’re calling your doctor after 4 hours which is really closer to 6 or 7 because you really weren’t sure exactly when you took it and really weren’t keeping track of elapsed time until you couldn’t buckle your seatbelt in the car and you really didn’t want to all the doctor and, oh Lord, Why am I such a big disappointment? Join us next month for our pledge drive. We’ve got some really handy tote bags* that are a way for you to show your support for the Hostages in a practical, yet not ostentatious way.

*Tote bags only available at the Platinum Pledge Level

For better or worse, we’ve all known a super freak.

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Irish History Month

Now that February’s BHM is in the rear view mirror we can move on to IHM. Of course no one calls it that but me but I’m writing my legislators to see if we can make some changes. It’s really ideal, there’s St Patrick’s Day of course, celebrating the man who drove the Komodo Dragons out of Ireland. In addition, due to lack of sunlight and cool weather most of us are pale and pasty like our Irish brethren and potatoes from Maine (casts sideways glance toward Idaho <.<).

Here is a tune that applies to most of our Hostage crew performed by a lovely and talented musician who has a few more videos in the same vein out there on her channel.

As an aside, we used to sing this song at Boy Scout campfires. I can’t imagine the new, transgendered Scouts allowing this never mind the song called “Bang Bang Lulu”

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bang_Bang_Lulu — skip to the military cadence section).

 

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FOR THE RECORD II

Here is a pic of your dad

bum

While I learn the intricacies of my new MacIntosh  product this is it for today. Busy week for me: partner is on vacation, nurse is in FLA and it’s school vacation…hold me!

Feel free to add updates. Let’s make this a community project.

UPDATE WON:

UPDATE TEW:

This is for Mare:

This is for Jimbro:

Big Blam Frooday

Tushar sent me an email yesterday after watching Trump’s press conference with dire warnings of peak boner. I believe our newest American is loving winning more each day even if he has a constant headache from lack of blood flow.

I wanted you to know that I gave your mom a chance to name this song. What a dirty slut.

Today’s model  hails from the country of Whatevestan. She’s smoking hot, has giant boobs, and to be perfectly honest with you, I’m not even sure these pictures of the same walking boobs girl. Please give a hearty, healthy, and very warm welcome to RION.

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Teh Luv Sessy Poat

V-Day has come and gone and hopefully your celebration was everything you wanted it to be.  I’m not really a Valentine’s Day guy because I think it’s a manufactured holiday designed to ring up sales in the retail market during a slow time in the winter months. Try telling that to your partner if he or she is a “believer“. I think something small is in order like a witty card, some good chocolate and a home cooked meal (do leftovers count?). “Toys” are a dicey proposition that can come back to bite you in the ass so to speak. Maybe your celebration consisted of some dancing involving a ‘good’ female dancer, performed by an (nsfw) avatar: Because…science.

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VDay

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B B F

Hi there and welcome to the third Friday of his majesty’s reign. On this Friday we are about to feel slightly less winning than previous days, which will still be better any day Hillary has left.

You know, I’m not sure I care about serious issues anymore. Here’s what I give greater than zero f**ks about: not losing. It turns out not losing is better than losing. Hard to believe.

If someone could inform former President Romney of this eternal wisd…..oh. I guess we could call Hillary and ask her if winning….nope, that won’t do either. So we’re left with all of history as a guide. It’ll do. Not perfect, but it’ll do.

Today’s song was written about Hotspur’s thong after a long night of medicinal tequila and Meh -hee- can cuisine.

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