Beasts

All kinds of fantastic animals

1.2 billion views….  no idea who that is.

Big Boob Friday

I’m just gonna apologize in advance for what’s about to happen here today. Deeply, and with heartfelt empathy for your flaccid donut, I’m sorry.

Today’s musical selection is of the deep hizouse variety and features a smokin’ hot Eastern European babe as the visual accompaniment to a lovely track. I wrote this while measuring the hourly bacteria count on countertop butter. That’s a lie. I didn’t write this song. I’ll allow you a second to recover.

Honestly, I feel bad about this. Brandy Talore is a former adult movie star, turned professional trailer trash, back to porn, then back to full time trash. She got her start in the yogurt catching business after a brief stint as a nude model. But fear not, she made sure that her family knew what she was doing. It’s also posited that her rather large udders and nips were the products of nursing two children all before the advanced age of 22. Nine years later Brandy called it quits but then briefly came back to the biz in 2017. To say that the off camera years were a bit hard on her is like saying that Illan Omar has the grace of a debutante. Poor fap disaster!

Amy Shumer?

Dia de los Muertos

BBF

Hello teetotalers, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Big Baisemain Friday.

 

baisemain (beɪzˈmæn) n : archaic a kissing of the hand; thus, a sign of respect

 

 

Your model for today was born May 19th, 1997 in Orlando, Florida.  She stands 5′ 3″, 36E-28-35 and 125 lbs.  Please make yourself comfortable and say hello to Miss Brittney White.

 

I Can Make a Poat. You may not like it, but that’s not my problem.

 

So, yesterday was my birthday, and not ONE person asked me this.   You guys don’t care.

 

At work, they like to call me Karen to piss me off, so these are always amusing:

 

Dog memes are always funny:

 

Ok, this is a tad hurtful …

And now, we’re almost to the point we’ve all been waiting for …

 

Here it is – the QOTSA video you all knew was coming. This isn’t on any  of the albums- it was released to those who pre-ordered one of their albums.   It is freakin amazing.

 

 

Oh … this is bound to be good …

 

Yes, Yes, it is Josh.

 

This song is amazing:

 

Tonight, on One Tree Hill …

Will there be a breakup? A fight?   Or will everyone just get grounded? TUNE IN TONIGHT

I honestly don’t know much about this show, but I did watch this one waaaaay back in the day:

 

 

The thing I like about Tori Spelling, is that she’s living proof that all the money in the world can’t make you beautiful.

I was actually more of a fan of this type of show:

 

 

Man, those were the days.  LOVED that show. And it had THIS wonderful episode – good performances and STILL had the humor.

 

 

One hunk for tuesday – Concert is in a few weeks:

 

The new album is awesome. But then you knew I’d say that. This is usually the concert opener, but not every time.   I will be insufferable until then.

 

 

Ok. My work here is done. I’ve fully desecrated the blog.   That’s what happens when everyone leaves me alone here.

Update/arrrrg:

 

 

 

BBF

Hello students, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

God I love that song.

Me:  Big boat deluxe,  big boat denied

Google Play:  Big boat devolves, big boat deny

Lyrics A-Z:  Big broken love, big broken knives

Revolve Lyrics:  Big boat deloves, big boat denies

 

Your model was born in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on February 5th, 1991, and currently resides in Los Angeles, California.  She stands 5′8″, 110lbs and 34C-24-34 on the nevergonnahappen scale.  Please stop ignoring the pussy and welcome, Miss Ellie Gonsalves!

The Short Bus

Lauraw wears crocks

Up with the sun, gone with the wind

Everyone said Pup was lazy

Leaving my home

Leaving my friends

Running when things got too crazy

Out on the road, out ‘neath the stars

Feeling the breeze, passing the cars

I think my dictionary has a Bob Seger filter, it tried to change “Passing” to “Passin”.

Rock on with your bad selves today my friends.  

Big Boob Friday

Hello weekday and weekend warriors. This has been a really interesting week for the MJ household. First, I found out that although interpuppet sex generally doesn’t end with procreation, we have succeeded. Second, wiser can suck a dick, nay a whole bag of them. And finally, the blog really misses Cyn. Whatever Jimbro, Pupster, and James did to run her off will requires punishment. I suggest that we each send them a flaming bag of gratitude.

*

I wrote this song for Hotspur.

Worst Secret Santa Gifts Evah

We’re entering one of the most wonderful times of the year in a Hostage’s life: Secreting Santa Time! In addition to the thrill of giving we also get the pleasure of receiving (SYWM). First, a little Christmas music to set the mood.