Mother Fuckin Bootleg | Carving Our Neeps since March 2009

We’re in the Matrix

I’m pretty sure we’re living in a simulation. To support this claim I want to draw your attention to the crazy that is 2020.

First, we’re witnessing white people become absolute racists in order to combat racism. I can’t only assume one of our programmers left a hashtag open and, well, here we are.

Second, a Chinese virus that was supposed to end the world – or at least come close – has turned out to be a bad flu season. I would bet all of my fake money that the code was outsourced to India and they read the requirements wrong. Covid = sys.exit() got written as: scriptcovid.2 (covid = flu. Dot not feather, always fucking up the code, amiright?

And lastly, this poor soul seems to have been built from a base character, but the game developers forgot to make the change from sausage to taco.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the weirdest thing on the internet at the moment…Danielle Muscato. Here’s a brief recap of the story if you haven’t heard about it. Basically our friend Danielle went into a Kroger and blew up at some poor soul that wasn’t wearing a face diaper. Danielle tried to get help from the store security guard and manager but they declined to prosecute this grave injustice. In response, Danielle starting harassing Kroger and the manager about their policy, and well, the blowback was swift. Look, this probably happens a few hundred times a day but for some reason this really struck a nerve with people. I have no idea why, except that perhaps Danielle is the avatar for all social justice warriors and you know, is a man.

Continue reading →

August 11, 2020
Categories: #Championshiplevelboobs, #DeepanalBumpParty, #H2, Beer Tree Farm, Belly Button Micro Penis, chi-chi was here category, Chicks dig a nice tool, Chief Grumpybutt, Chocolate, Fourth Grade, Fuck golf, GOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!, Gotta tattooed tit say number 13, Gout! Gout! Let it all out!, Hot Dog Size Clitoris, Hot-n-tot's birthday beating, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, Le Luc Long, Learn some shit, Leave Poland Alone, monkey love, mons of Marmota monax, Moon Pie Smash, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, mother fuckin' snakes under a mother fuckin' board, pets, Pinch A Loaf, Pure Genius, pushing the tit wheelbarrow, quesadillas, Snake juice guzzler, STFU, Stop Trying To Make TuesD'AWWW Happen, Summaries, Three card Monte, vagine, Vaseline Kiss, your mom is a fish monger, your mom likes a slippery trout, Your mom likes this, Zzyzx . . Author: MJ . Comments: 120 Comments

MMM – MJ Edition

Leon is probably taking care of very important business and has a great excuse for shirking his Monday responsibility. I’ll fill in with a very intriguing post.

This rock formation has a perfectly formed white ball in the middle. Probably an alien culture.

This formation found on indigenous land comes in 2 sizes and is ‘new’ which I can only assume means it’s been around for thousands of years.

Perfectly formed structures. Either this mountainous ancient culture used these for animal sacrifice or as an important part of their astronomical observations which are still far superior to ours. Cuz noble savages.

These are rocks that are bluish kinda. Very intriguing.

July 6, 2020
Categories: # Hashtag, 7 of 9 fucks not given, Brian Williams, bro-cav is sorry he's not sorry about leering at boobs, Cheedy, cheese, Does this look infected?, Dog Centric, dog love, Generic Category Category, Genital Itch, Help me Regis, hey Poncho - that's Wiser!, Kenya, Kinky Afro, Loaded dice, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, Okay, Plumbing, poat, Snake juice guzzler, Stetson (for men), STFU, Sweet Tunes, tenterhooks, this poat is dedicated to XBeeRad, weiner, Where's Cyn?, Where's MJ?, Where's Thor?, Xanthan gum, You have some Junk in the Trump, YOU WISH, You're a douchenozzle for playing the Rosetta card, Your Mom, Your mom likes this, Your mom sends her love . . Author: MJ . Comments: 152 Comments

Stranglememe

Can’t believe Car in never talks about this guy, from Detroit.

Now on to the memes:

Continue reading →

September 17, 2019
Categories: #Championshiplevelboobs, 2017 Big Boob Championships, American Hero, bad trip, BANGLAR COFFEE, Beaver Button, Birthday Cake, braunschweiger, BroCav wants one of you lame bastigae to create a recipe category - i see nothing good coming of that - but who am i to criticize the genius of the ppl around this chat room: salt to taste, Bunker Pants!, Catnaps, chi-chi was here category, Consumption, Dan's Pickled Nutsack, Dial C for cooter, Douche-bagger, Electrical, Federal Witness Protection Program, flowering flower, fucking genius, Genital Itch, groomin' your shroom, Happy Birfday Baby Jesus!!, High and tight, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, I am judging you, I Will Kick Your Ass, Invisible Hand Spanking Machine, Jesus Freak, Knockers, Like you know how to read., lying phquer, mardi gras groping, Methadone Clinic Cougar, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, Music Classics, NHL, Not Boobs, Old Person, Pants Up, Don't Loot, people make me sick, polishing turds, pruritus ani, Really, right wing rethuglican, Sac and Fox, shut your whore mouth, Someone needs a sandwich, stupid fucking hippies, Taint what you think, the big OOOOOOOOOOOO, This is fucking bullshit, Tinfoil lingerie, tubgirl, Vlatabadababadoodoo, Where's MJ?, wisermeany, You People Make Me Sick, your mom likes a slippery trout, Z - we don't have a Z . . Author: Jay in Ames . Comments: 146 Comments

Summer’s Swan Song

Here it is, the unofficial end of summer. If your kids aren’t already back to school they’ll be there soon. Visions of paste and sharpened #2 pencils fill our heads. It already feels a little like fall here. Nights are cooler and the humidity is long gone. When I went to the grocery store I saw the mums and Halloween candy out. Even the national burnt coffee chain has rolled out the PSL before Labor Day. We’ll probably have another heat wave or two before fall begins in earnest. I wish someone would let the ticks and mosquitoes know it’s time to go away.