ducks are people too | Jackson Pollacking your Mom since March 2009

Get Ready!

Time to do something, right now dammit!

February 22, 2018
Categories: Cheese Log Guzzler, ducks are people too, Lesbians, Like you know how to read., Mother Fuckin Bootleg, motorboating the brown-ringed zero, Pompadour, presidential portrait - poon in ivy, Sodium Chloride Fornication, The Religion of Peace, TITS, You have some Junk in the Trump, you might be gay if you like this . . Author: Jimbro . Comments: 221 Comments

Proof That God Loves Trump: The Women in His Life

I don’t care how fat, purple haired, and poorly tattooed you are…if you don’t think Melania Trump is beautiful, there’s something wrong with your brain. Everyone pretended to love and was eerily forced to affirm that Moochelle was radiant and smart while neither were really true. She’s a dog and everyone knows it. Melania, on the other paw, is intelligent, well spoken, and fiercely protective of her family. She has class, which we sorely need.

Proof that god loves Trump: Melania

A sarcastic or vengeful god would have given Trump a more Chelsea-esque daughter to mock his obvious love of himself. But instead, our benevolent creator granted him with not one, but two lovely female offspring. Ivanka and Tiffany are warm, funny, intelligent, and dedicated to their families. They don’t need a PR campaign or obviously fake attempts to appear as insert-consultant-generated-words-to-convey-humanity-here to their fellow countrymen. And they both look good in leather pants, which is more than we can say for Chubble.

Proof that God loves Trump: His daughters

And lastly, there is no greater gift to a politician than a good foil. As I’ve often said, there’s only one person that Trump could have beaten to become President, and there’s only one person that Hillary could have lost to. No matter the situation, she appears robotic, tone deaf, scripted, and always attempts to lie when the simple truth will do. Dropped something on your foot or stubbed a toe? Nope! She was running down the stairs, coffee cup in hand, shouting important orders to an unnamed underling. Pass out and get chucked into van like a side of beef? She’s just fine! It’s a lovely Spring day and why look here! A random child to hug which will make a splashy picture! She’s so strong and brave to stand upright in this unrelenting 68 degree heat!

Hillary is a Christmas nightmare. The terrible gift that just keeps giving.

Proof that God loves Trump: Hillary Rodham Clinton

Enemies of the State

October 19, 2017
Categories: !RALGNAB, Barack Obama, barely passable trannies, Buzzcut, Caffeine, crisp bills, CRUNK JUICE!!!, ducks are people too, fuck you, Premolar, Secret Santa, tenterhooks, WarPr0n, Where's Cyn?, Where's MJ?, Where's Thor?, Your mom likes this, ZOMFG!!11ty! . . Author: MJ . Comments: 54 Comments

Me Me Me Meme

Hotspur:

I put this on facedouche, but I share here because I care. Also, because it’s truthy.

October 7, 2017
Categories: American Hero, asshole, bacon, Beaver Button, but not the good kind, ducks are people too, flick it, flick it good, foreskin, FUCK YOU ICE, Oops., Snake juice guzzler, Sorry. . . Author: Pupster . Comments: 194 Comments

MMM 284: Buying the Farm (again)

I’m hoping that the next move is the last one. It’s definitely enough land to live off of, even with the (essentially) worthless horses. The question is how fast I can get to the point of food independence, should I have the wherewithal to do so. Going to be a lot of work getting it into shape for that, so I have to hope my body won’t give out on me before the systems are built up, and that I can make steady progress toward it as the years pass.

America.