You Are An Asshole

Do me a favor, would you? Go into the bathroom or your bedroom or look down at your shoe and give yourself a long look in the mirror. Try to look a little disappointed, and say this out loud, ‘I will never be a as good of a person as Lauraw. Not if I invented a time machine and prevented Barak Hussein Obama from becoming president. Not if I found and convinced Mila Kunis to spend an evening with MJ. Not if I opened a weed farm and put MJ in charge of quality control. There is nothing I can do to be funnier or more thoughtful that Lauraw.

Then punch yourself in the balls/vag.

Behold, the Deadmaublanket5.

POS Poat – Reconquista bitches!!!!

I’ve got a friend (of sorts) who purports to be a Messican and is always whining about racism, the plight of the boarder jumpers and welfare scammers blah, blah, blah –

I’ve tried to learn him a few things, economics, race designation, etc – no bueno. So now I just work on irritating him as much as I can. I start and end conversations with him by calling him my southern caucasian brother.

David Brooks is the Sandwich Artist of Virtue Signaling

From the NYTimes, so don’t click.

Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican.

American upper-middle-class culture (where the opportunities are) is now laced with cultural signifiers that are completely illegible unless you happen to have grown up in this class. They play on the normal human fear of humiliation and exclusion. Their chief message is, “You are not welcome here.”

–David Brooks

Highly Recommend

Hi weirdos. Here are a few things I would like to rate as a hostage:

 

TNT flooring: Meth heads that pretend to be Jesus freaks so you’ll trust them with your really big job that they swear is going to be just perfect. Will they work more than a few hours a day? No. Will they smoke meth in your house? Yes. Will you need to have the floor completely removed and done by someone else? Yes. Will the meth heads remind you of someone but you can’t quite place them? Yes.

Big Boob Friday

Hello (insert your indian name here) and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model for today was born April 20th, 1995 in Garut, West Java, Indonesia. She measures 168cm, 48kg. Please stop picking your daughters boyfriends and welcome, Miss Siva Aprilla!

BBF

Happy New Year Boob Enthusiasts, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

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Your model for today is an actress, comedian, writer and producer.  She was born in Tashkent, Uzbek SSR, USSR but moved to Hollywood when she was 3 years old.  She seems like a lot of fun even though she tries to hide her headlights under a bushel.  Please stop waving that hammer around and welcome, Miss Milana Vyntrub!  

BBF

Hello Amishmen, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

I started singing this song during a conversation about weird MN traffic rules with Pupsterboy2, who just gave me the what-the-hell look and begged me to stop. It’s criminal. There ought to be a law.

 

 

Your model for today has previously been linked as a gif, but never featured until now that I found her name. She was born on May 19th, 1991 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and has appeared in Playboy and done some pretty extensive video and studio work. She seems like a good sport and has fun with her bags, and stands 5’3″ and 103lbs, 32DDD-23-31. Please stop ATMing long enough to welcome, Miss Lindsey Pelas!

Something Something Your Mom