Wait, wut? So quick baby update and a big thank you to some very nice people for sending gifts to the house. Its been a truly wonderful experience to understand how many people are wishing the little guy well. I’m super pleased that he’ll have a whole group of crazy aunts, uncles, and inflatable sheep to make sure he doesn’t turn into a giant pain in the ass.
Blankie Engineered by NASA
Good morning boys and girls and xbrads.
Here’s a fresh poat for everyone.
Scott and LauraW continue their vacation. Beasn continues the home improvement project from hell.
After five years out I’ve started to get recruitment letters asking me if I want to apply for a commission in the Army Reserve. They must be truly desperate for people.
Leon is busy denouncing the moral degredation of today’s youth. Car in, meanwhile, has had enough of your shit. Perhaps she shouldn’t have sent Ethan to Jimbro to get his surgery. MJ’s busy trying to keep the spice in his marriage.
Wait… where the fuck is Xbrad?
Mare needs a little encouragement some mornings.
Shhhh… it’s going to be ok, Pupster.
Should we organize a 21-rep salute?
And now, some music:
This pretty much sums up how I feel most days. But then I realize that I have you assholes as my fake internet friends, and everything is going to be alright.
This one’s just plain fun. As is this one.
Go forth and take on the world. Remember, it’s Thursday night, so celebrate.
So here we are, 100 days into the glorious reign of the God Emperor Donaldus Trump II.
Is America great again? No, but its early. Like you, my patience is about as thin as Mare’s Whoreday panties and I do not trust a single person that is connected to Washington DC.
The Bad
Repeal/Replace–May the RINOs of the senate be rushed to the ER with a lightbulb stuck in their collective asses. Upon removal they may find a bright idea, such as repeal/replace. It’s not complicated, assholes.
The budget–May the Freedom Caucus step on their dicks with golf shoes for having the temerity to sink repeal/replace only to turn around and fund PP for the rest of the fiscal year.
The Good
Border crossings are down 70+% based solely on a mean look from the based cheeto god. My suggestion is that he get a teardrop tattoo on his cheek then watch the number climb to 90%.
The world seems to think we might be crazy enough to kick ass and drink Diet Coke. They also seem to believe we are running low on Diet Coke.
Serious note–people seem to be more optimistic about the future. I don’t really talk politics much in public but I don’t feel the weight of the pessimism that is being pushed by the media. Things seem good, which may be a reflection on where I live and how life is going, but it really matters when the people at the top are confident of success rather than dead set on decline. We’ve been told to eat our veggies for so long that a delicious taco bowl (we have the best taco bowl’s, don’t we folks?) seems like manna from heaven. It’s just taco Tuesday, but goddamn that seems like a fine idea.
The Ugly
The media and the DNC (Hillary/Obama wing) are pushing some really dangerous shit. The ridiculousness of RUSSIA! and the attempt to subvert a presidency that simply out hustled a terrible politician is going to escalate quickly. And when it does, they’ll blame Trump. They don’t care that people will be hurt, in fact I believe it’s the desired state to wave a bloody shirt.
I’m not really sure who has the ear of the President. I like Ivanka and Jared and I really like the tax plan that was put out but see Mare’s threadbare Whoreday undies referenced above for my trust levels. Jury is out on the D’s in the White House.
Goofy Shit is Endearing. Fuck Being ‘Too Cool’ Like Obama
A picture, such as this, will have to wait. Elsie must be HELD constantly at this point, and Moose pretty much wants to sniff her all over and over and over. Drooling while he does it.
Not just yet
Here she is. Snuggled up to my leg when I put her on the ground.
She is TINY. Sweet as can be. Snuggles right in really deep.
Hola bishes. Long time no escribo.
This is a 100% true story that is completely, honestly, 100% on the level with the truth. Estoy siendo honesto, punta maricones. I wouldn’t lie to anyone.
Anonche, en mi cama, I had a vision of a delicious cocktail. Was it the first signs of a budding addiction (it wasn’t)? Was it an implanted memory from our conversation last night (not likely)? Was it a reaction to a brain that will never quite shut off (possibly)? First symptoms of syphilis contracted from your mom (bingo)?
The answer is yes. Never mind what’s in the parenthesis. As you know from watching CNN they like to make sure that headlines are correctomundo as they interpret. But I digress.
What was this sueno de grandeza? It’s the cocktail to end all cocktails. A swanky, frothy, cream filled bananalicious, stripper referencing libation named the Dicking Bimbo!
Grab yourself a blender and get busy with this recipe:
1 oz vanilla or cake flavored vodka
.5 oz brandy
.5 oz banana liqueur (99 bananas is the best)
1 large, phallic banana
2 oz whipping cream
dash cinnamon
ice
Put everything in your addiction mixer and whip it up! It tastes a little like bananas foster, but with a kick. Alcohol content: 6.8 chads. Stripper names: 2.
Well, let’s get fresh for the summer season. Evidently zee Moronosphere is ablaze with real zeal for new art posts in America, and so in celebration of the new let us break from the past.
Check out:
Geoff McFetridge
b 1971 Canada
He’s a bright talent and prolific.
Watch for his shows in a metropolitan galleria near ye’ia.
(pro-tip. Free wine.)
Taste the brainbow.
Another week begins, our grieving continues. Not gonna jabber about my issues this week, just going to wish for a good week for us all, and that we should all feel the courage and joy we need to face it.
Now, a hot chick on a pole.
Going to try this recipe today in my new doohickey, probably a few hours from now. I’ll let you know how it compares to Häagen-Dazs. MIL’s pitbullboxerdogthing is slightly more calm today, but I had to concede half of my couch to get us here, and I’ve got the cat food and one litter box upstairs and a “gate” (collapsed stroller blocking the path) at the bottom of them. Coffee’s ready, because I was awakened by a pair of full dog bladders and there’s no way to get the big dog back into the kennel so I can get more rest. Going to hang out here and maybe play some Fallout until 9am or so, then I get to feed the horses in the rain.
I like the mirror trick you sometimes see in fitness photography.
The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
