1. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccce !!!

  2. “So you guys are from Portland” is exactly right.

    I laughed at the baby pic but somehow I knew it was wrong. This place has ruined me.

  3. I know, Jesus, I know.

  4. guhmermeh

  5. …but she says I’m just a friend, yeah she says I’m just a friend…

  6. Dang, I meant to put an “Except Leon” caption on that meme.

  7. wakey wakey

  8. So formula was suspected of killing 2 babies, and the factory was shut down and now we have a nation-wide formula shortage emergency. FDA is taking its sweet time opening the place back up because – ????

    But 5 people have died in the US of the mysterious hepatitis outbreak, and not a single peep of the vax perhaps causing it and maybe we shouldn’t be giving kids a shot they don’t need.

  9. Formula company must have donated to Rs and/or be owned by Christians and/or concerned parents that confronted the local school board.

  10. Just want to say again that Dr. Berg’s keto+IF plan with mineral supplementation and a few other things he recommends, kicks ass and has lost me two pant sizes in two months and I just feel better. Still not doing much exercising yet except for work and garden and some focused stretching/ pain-relief type moves.
    I want to lose a few more pounds first.

  11. -20 pounds in 7 weeks.

  12. Not gonna have any targets, just gonna keep doing what I’m doing.

  13. *sound of hump slowly deflating*

    Are you actually, you know, following Berg’s plan or giving it the recipe you like treatment?

  14. Liquor stores in SC open at 9AM. No shit.

    I have to pick up brandy and some fruit and start the experimental sangria ala pupster here in a bit.

    Going to a party tonight at my friend and cow-orkers house. I hope all y’all have a nice saturday and try not to be too hard on yourselves.

  15. I’m following it with the foods I can afford that are easy to get. He advocates a lot of organic grass-fed frou frou stuff that I just am not willing to go to Whole Foods and get fleeced for.

    I have already started eating some of the greens from my garden, and when they fill in more in a couple weeks I won’t need to buy veggies anymore, so at least that is fresh and of the highest quality, better than at Whole Foods.


    (Imgur video with sound)

  17. Have a fun party day, Pupster, and no biting.

  18. Comment by lumps on May 14, 2022 7:55 am
    -20 pounds in 7 weeks.


    Holy cow. Fantastic.

    1.8 pounds in about 8 weeks. But I have zero estrogen. So I’ll take what I can get. The only thing that budged me was my meat/egg 4 day reset.

  19. Pupster have fun and be that guy that people talk about the next day.

  20. Lumps, what electrolytes are you using?

  21. Did you know there is now a tick in the south/southeast that makes you allergic to meat?

    Yeah, that’s not a lab-created scourge at all. Nope, that would never happen.

  22. Jeeze Mare you are freaking me out.

    Calm down.

  23. We have that tick around here too.

    I’m not sure whether Lyme or a meat allergy would be worse

  24. Another thing I do that he recommends is to whizz up a whole lemon in water and drink it. I do only a 1/2 lemon because a whole one is just too much. And I seed it because I don’t like the excess bitterness from the seeds. I do this in the mid-morning when I start feeling like I need a boost. It does not break my fast and it makes me feel wonderful.

    And later in the day after my meal or two, I sip on ACV in water. Not the 2 tablespoons he recommends, because, again, way too much for me. Just a splash. I never get indigestion anymore but sometimes I feel too full and it does make my stomach feel comfortable after eating.

    Both of these things, along with the daily fasting, are also for cleaning out the liver.

  25. I’m the past I’ve run into Blue Laws for buying beer on a Sunday morning. I’m not sure if they’re still in effect but one time I grocery shopped on my way home from morning rounds and added beer to the cart. At the checkout line the cashier gave me the bad news. Pretty sure it was early, like 0830 and didn’t hang around for a few hours just to get beer

  26. Made a day trip to KS , on Tuesday to see my son for his bday. Took him one of his favorite foods, cookie, and snack.

    Seen on one of the trucks we passed on the highway….”Dick Ray…Master Plumber”. Had some fun with that. Distracted Mr. B so much, he missed our exit.

  27. Mare, I have been supplementing with magnesium in diverse forms, potassium gluconate, and regular salt. I just ordered some of Dr. Berg’s electrolyte powder because I couldn’t find a plain potassium citrate powder on my own, which I would prefer to take instead of the gluconate form. If I can find some at some point, I won’t bother buying his stuff.

  28. My liver is a little musty

  29. I did the lemon water too until it tipped me into gastritis. Might have had it before but didn’t feel any symptoms until after a week or three of starting it.

    I am doing non-fortified nutritional yeast as Berg suggests. I don’t buy his. I get it from here (per his recommendation).

  30. Work was a shit-show last night.

  31. Short story:

    THere is this dude – Derek – who comes to the restaurant EVER friday night. WIth his wife, and elderly father, and his grandaughter (he has custody because his kid is a drug addict). ANYWAY – immigrants from South Africa (Afrikaners)- stories to tell of his time there. But HATED trump, true blue liberals. He has a successful aftermarket auto parts business, but blue color attitude (expensive tastes).

    That’s the set up

    So every friday. He wants me to wait on him. The last few weeks, when he got there I was way too busy – my section was full and I couldn’t handle another table elsewhere. Last night, he shows up and he’s demanding I wait on him. The manager draws a line in the sand and tells him that if he wants me, he has to sit in my section. He doesn’t want that. He wants to sit clear across the dining room. The night had been horrible, it was a million degrees in there, and TWO employees had to go home early from (most likely) the heat in the kitchen making them ill. So nope- if you want THAT table over there, you’re getting another waitress.

    He lost his shit. It was so over the top. Screaming started in the bar – screaming INTO her face. Then came into the dining room to have a … enormous fit.

    So, we’re probably not going to see them anymore. If I’d known he’d make a scene I would have just sucked it up and waited on him where he wanted. But once he started screaming, it was over.

    I had to apologize to my traumatized tables. What a wreck. The whole night was a shit show.


    (actually I made great money last night – 27% of my sales before tip out) but was it worth it? debatable.

    The burden I bear for being a great server, though. The struggle is real.

  32. Thanks for the info.

    Carin, what happened?

  33. Lemon water is my kidney stone prevention drink.

    That and sangria

  34. Awful behavior for an adult

  35. Why are so many people mentally ill?

  36. We’ve put up with his shit for years. good riddance.

  37. I guess when he was a kid, his parents tantrum-trained him so some part of him still believes that’s how he gets what he wants. Love it when problem customers fire themselves.

  38. I’m going to grow an extra herb garden for my chickens.

    Sage, Thyme, oregano, parsley

  39. Great memes.

  40. …wouldn’t be surprised if he comes back, though. Control freaks gonna control freak.

    If you ever see him again you should give him a scolding instead of pretending like it never happened.

  41. does anything actually eat fresh sage?

  42. Or the manager should refuse to seat him. He should be banned now. Ban him.

    Cancel that leftist asshole from service altogether.

  43. Good morning, you rays of sunshine.

  44. Don’t think so, I only ever see sage dried.

  45. Derek sounds like an asshole.

  46. I’ve used fresh sage.

  47. But I’ve also noticed that spice prices have gone crazy so I plan on drying my own this summer

  48. How many times did I tell you people to hoard peppercorns?

  49. Things to do today:

    1. Write a music poat
    2. Prepare a lesson for church tomorrow
    3. Finish a book I’ve been reading
    4. Dick around on the Internet looking at memes for five straight hours

    Welp, let’s get started.

  50. Do the important things first, Sobek: #4.

  51. Frankfurt Symphony is doing a live stream performance of Peter and the Wolf:

  52. Fresh sage is a key ingredient in my cornbread dressing.

    Mmmm … Thanksgiving. That holiday should have its own holiday.

  53. Always a bunch of kids at a Peter and the Wolf concert. We went on a field trip to one when I was a kid too.

  54. Mitch, how is Florida so far?

  55. This cracks me up. The maces sticking out like dogs getting some air.
    They usually travel by carriage, not car.

  56. Great mare! Weather has been nice, got rained on yesterday so that was neat. I went to a Rural King, an Ollie’s and a Wawa. Still trying to get my bearings. In Vegas you have the mountains you can see from everywhere so it’s easy to orient yourself. Here, not so much. It’s all fun though. Today I explore a bit more.

  57. I’m happy you’re settling in nicely.

  58. Not used to the summery weather here yet. Taking a break after shoveling a bunch of compost at the transfer station. Scott was mowing the lawn when I got back. Two other neighbors were out front of their houses mowing their lawns. I brought Scott a quart jar of iced tea in full view of everybody so the neighbors can understand how horrible their wives are and what a superior choice Scott made.

  59. Of course, my description is quite modest…I’m sure their wives are even worse than I imagine.

  60. *Looks up requirements for registering my car in Florida. Considers moving back to Vegas.*

    Yeesh. They don’t make it easy.

  61. I brought Scott a quart jar of iced tea

    Keeper. To bad you smell like dead plant matter.

  62. Our 90 degree plus week ended overnight with storms. Should be decent temperatures for the next 5 days. Good time to plant the baby cleomes and sweet peppers outdoors.

    We went from cold, overcast spring, to Africa hot this past week.

  63. Dead plant matter actually has a pleasant, earthy smell.

    She smells like schwetty armpits doused in pus.

  64. To bad you smell like dead plant matter.

    Nobody tell Pupster what tea is, it’s funnier this way.

  65. Not used to the summery weather here yet.
    In the course of a week I went from long pants, t-shirt and flannel to cargo shorts and a t-shirt. Feels like it took forever to warm up this year.

  66. Ben offered to do the mowing for a little off his Jeep payment and I said yeah to that. Then he ignored the job for 4 or 5 days which is a bad idea this time of year. He finally got it done this morning. I’ll need to hit it again in a few days given his tendency to leave it looking like a bad haircut and the rate of growth anyway.

  67. I’ll take this with a grain of salt

  68. Bah. If he can fly a plane, he can do a perfect job mowing.

  69. >> Not used to the summery weather here yet.

    Yeah, it got hot fast. I was in Atlanta early this week, and it was (thankfully) cooler.

  70. Music poat is done, Sunday school prep is done, time to read 130 more pages of my book. Woot!

  71. What’s the lesson on?

    *please be a parable*

  72. Nope, we’re in the OT this year. I’m covering Numbers 11-14 and 20-24. Lots of passages about Israel getting smitten in the wilderness. Plus a talking donkey at one point.

  73. Wind blew really hard last night and knocked power out about 11:30.

    It’s 92° outside and the power is still out.

    They did come by and looked at the big fuse by our house – yep, it’s blown (again. Like every other time when the electricity goes out). Gotta get a crew here.

    At least the lights (and heat) stayed on last winter when we had that long freeze.

  74. Weeded and mulched the long front edge of the front flower bed. Dang is that sun hot. Starting to get sun-stupid, had to retreat again. Hope we get some rain soon. Everything is pretty parched. Hate mulching dry ground, its not a good thing to do.

  75. It’s warm-ish and gray here, just started sprinkling a little bit.

  76. Plus a talking donkey at one point.

  77. About to get our asses kicked around here, clouding up & air temp just dropped 10 or 15 degrees in the past 10 minutes…. and here it comes


    *sticks out lower lip*

  79. Well, the thankless water heater doesn’t work when the electricity is out. Paul took a shower in record time….

    We decided to go somewhere cooler for a few hours, so we are taking Rebecca to see The Bad Guys – looks like it might be fun.

    If the lights are still out, we’ll go out to eat dinner, and if they are still out after that, we may be spending the night in a hotel.

    Gotta roll with the punches, right?

  80. Dick baby is the reason why Jesus is judging me. I had to GLAR. 🐻❤️🐴

  81. “Tankless”….

  82. TiFW, go to a hotel. Staycay with AC.

  83. And there it goes. Got a little rain, the strong stuff seems to have skirted around me. The temp is much more tolerable though, July shouldn’t happen in mid May…anywhere.

  84. Spent the hour while it was trying to storm on me making a rub for a 16# pork butt and applying it. Pork butt is now absorbing the rub prior to going in the smoker before bed time for a low (180 degree) & slow overnighter, then kick it up to 225 in the morning for a few hours.
    Pulled pork sandwiches every night for the next 3 months unless I can find someone to pawn some of it off on, probably going to give a crap ton of it to step daughter.
    Labor day weekend is brisket time. Praying for a small brisket, I still haven’t adjusted to cooking for 1.

  85. Osorio, Rebecca would be thrilled if we went to a hotel – she LOOOOVES her some hotel-staying!

    Tomorrow it’s supposed to hit 100°. It’s unseasonably warm for mid-May 🥵🥵🥵

  86. I read that this is one of the hottest TX Mays on record. I was in TX for the record 100+ days EVER. I think it was 1980 or 81. 🐻#TeamRebecca

  87. CIL in the fireworks biz is saying that they aren’t getting supply from Chynah. Sitting on the dock. Having to pay for storage. Not able to get to trains. Having to pay for trucks to bring the load from docks. More than doubling the costs for him. No sparklers.

  88. I hate thankless water heater

  89. Mrs jay is really happy. she’s down a TON of weight. walking all the time, happily bitching about her underwear being too big. she’s back to what she was like 15 years ago when she had a more active lifestyle. it’s fun to see.

    I was against getting bariatric surgery but it really worked for her.

  90. Thanks to Duolingo, I know how to translate the Deftones lyric “I’m your passenger” into Ukrainian. Now my life is complete.

  91. That’s awesome Jay!

  92. I don’t get how tankless can be practical, the BTU’s required to deliver on demand must be phenomenal. Water is slow to heat & retains energy it absorbs. I can, however, see tankless as a pre-heater delivering warmed water to a hot water heater/tank reducing the need to keep applying heat to the tank every time there’s a draw on supply. But WTF do I know.

  93. Congratulations Mrs Jay!

  94. Ha! I’ve been hearing rumors one of Leon’s “favorite” bands will be in Fort Wayne this summer, turns out it’s true. Guess who just got a ticket to see ZZ Top in July at the Foelinger outdoor theater, 3rd row, right side where Reverend Billy works…..This guy!

  95. It won’t be the same without Dusty Hill, but opportunity rarely knocks twice.

  96. Dave, that is the sole reason I went to a Grateful Dead concert before Jerry Garcia kicked the bucket

  97. Could have got front row, but I want to see the band, not a bunch of old chicks dancing and flashing their sagging boobs.

  98. Fort Wayne is awesome. Can’t wait to go back.

  99. Jimbro, I was not a grateful dead fan, never have been, but I’m with ya on having the opportunity to see them live…Had I had the chance…

  100. OSO, I’m taking my phone with me, turn around to the crowd and face to you’re left, I’ll snap that picture, & have someone post it here! LOL

  101. Disclaimer. In all honesty, I’ll proll’y be more focused on the old chicks dancing, more so on the ones flashing their sagging boobs.
    Opportunity only knocks once!

  102. 1) I see the Deftones in 10 days with Gojira. Sobek is jealous

    B) cleaned my house this morning

    c) mowed the lawn (part of it)

    Next) wood chipped a BUNCH of branches while it was a million degrees outside.

    %) went to my favorite garden store and got ALL THE THINGS.

    Now we’re going out to dinner. hannah’s here with her boyfriend.

  103. Oh, and chicken care. Did that too.

    OH and we put the jet ski in the lake.

  104. Congrats to Mrs. Jay!

    It was 32 degrees here yesterday morning, it got up to 80. 86 degrees right now. Branding tomorrow, hoping it’s cooler.

  105. Wrath of Khan is 40

  106. have Derek wait on you

  107. “Sobek is jealous”


  108. Car in. ( typical guy response) You seem to be upset. Am I wrong?

  109. DNH, Fort Wayne has beautiful churches/Cathedrals. Great baseball. Peej is a Deadhead. I like their bears. Like barrel of monkeys, but bears.

  110. We considered tankless during camping shower no water heater D battery Armageddon. Albuquerque has really shitty plumbing laws. Cousin had a plumber neighbor. Under the table, off the books.

  111. Oso, the Fort is known for being the city of churches. You’re absolutely correct in their beauty. It’s unfortunate that one of the prime cathedrals burned a few years ago. But no one gives a shit because ” Christians”. I’m sure you get it. They don’t know him, but are willing to step up and speak for him.

  112. Jay, that’s fantastic!! I don’t know if Mrs. Jay has instagram but Dusty lost 300 pounds is a really good site for anyone but especially bariatric surgery people. He and his wife both had surgery and he’s great at keeping it real and staying disciplined. Plus, he’s fun.

  113. DNH, thanks for the info. Truly one of the most beautiful small cities in America.

  114. Why is the Buffalo shooting bigger news than Milwaukee Bucks? Trigger discipline?

  115. Lights are back on!

  116. pellets got wet, SOB!. Maintenance just got a hot work order to deal with the smoker. Not eating Subway 2 nights in a row because I forgot to thaw something….

  117. Lights are back on!
    That’s either “WOOHOO” or “oh shit, I wanted a night out”.
    Please clarify.

  118. Yay, Mrs. Jay!

    We love our tankless water heater – I like long showers, and I don’t run out of hot water like I used to with a regular water heater.

  119. That’s either “WOOHOO” or “oh shit, I wanted a night out”.
    Please clarify.


  120. Poop. Rebecca needs her hotel pampering.

  121. So, Sheridan would’ve graduated HS last night. Classmate asked if she could keep the plush monkey that attended school with their class since 2011. Monkey had the cap and was in all the Senior pictures. Dan “That is such a small town Oklahoma story”

  122. 16 pounds of pork butt just landed in the smoker for the overnight. If it’s missing in the morning I’ll keep an eye out in the news for someone in the trailer park across town suffering from trigonometry, or what ever the eating improperly cooked pork disease is called. hopefully it makes them smarter when dealing with trig.
    ‘nite all.

  123. That’s sweet, Oso. Nephew went to a small HS in Texas, one of their classmates died senior year, they had all grown up together. They left an open chair for her, with a cap and gown, program, flowers, the works. Again, very sweet.

  124. TiFW, small town props.

  125. I don’t mean to brag, but I just got a bag of cherries and now I’m eating them.

  126. Early cherries? Don’t they peak in June?

  127. Congrats, Mrs. Jay!

    Hope the ZZ Top concert is better than the one I went to. They phoned it in with the Recycler tour.

  128. I have no idea when cherries peak. I just saw some and bought them.

  129. Retail worker that loves cherries. They peak in June and the prices drop. Washington. Bing.

  130. Just for Mare. Convo in the Condo. Dan “What if we go where we want and avoid thinking about costs?” Oso “Lanai?” Dan “Kauai”

  131. They could be Chinese cherries.

  132. “They could be Chinese cherries.”

    Your mom could be Chinese cherries.

  133. Not upset. Busy but productive day

  134. Did you ban Derek?

  135. Glad your day was productive. Here’s some metal:

  136. Dave easily rectified problems.

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