There once was a monkey named Juan Pedro Eustace Morales Domingo Santa-Bella del a Cruz the third.
He was a very nice monkey.
Then he got mixed up with a bad crowd.
Then he died a horrible death.
My inner monkey weeps at his passing.
-FIN –
Continue reading →
June 23, 2022
Categories: #DeepanalBumpParty, 90 seconds you'll never get back, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, catchin' the fishes bishes, Generic Category Category, Genital Itch, Hot Dog Size Clitoris, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, islands in the stream, It must be true!, Lesbians, Moist, monkey love, mons of Marmota monax, My safe contains your mom, Not Enough Categories ffs, Peace Through Douche, Poon In Ivy, Remembrance, sissymaryrosettacunt, Suck It. . Tags: another fishing trip, ducks, That's Gonna Leave A Mark . Author: jam2 . Comments: 187 Comments
Because I post stupid shit that doesn’t even make sense to me most of the time, one of our brothers here at hostageland sent me a link for this little beastie:
January 27, 2022
Categories: #DeepanalBumpParty, alcohol, Aliens, amazing post, asshat anonymous, asshole, Balls, BroCav says - 2/10 would not pick again, Brown Snow, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Cheedy, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, conspiracy theory, Cults, foreskin, Genital Itch, Learn some shit, Moist, monkey love, sissymaryrosettacunt, Suddenly Sumo, this post sucks, Turkey Taint, whiskey, worst post evah!, Your mom sends her love . Tags: Brain Diseased, Seriously, That's Gonna Leave A Mark . Author: jam2 . Comments: 161 Comments
The first video I ever sent to Merv.
The first cat video on You-tube……and as we all know, the Internet was created for cat and dog videos…..I’m pretty sure all videos uploaded to You-tube in 2005 were filmed with a potato.
Also, it’s entirely possible I sprained my finger picking categories. I might die. I’ll miss you all.
November 19, 2020
Categories: !RALGNAB, # Hashtag, #Championshiplevelboobs, #DeepanalBumpParty, #H2, #hashtag, #indogyears, #Problematic, #Reboob, 10/10 Would Smash, 1979 Bitchez, 2017 Big Boob Championships, 4/10 Would Still Smash, 7 / 9 fucks given, 7 of 9 fucks not given, 80s, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, 9/11 Bush's fault, ACHOO!, alcohol, Aliens, almond, amazing post, American Hero, And Now Another Poat by Pupster, ann coulter, As Little as Possible, asshat anonymous, asshole, bacon, Bacon Strips, bacon wrapped booger, Baconwrappedboobbeer, bad trip, BADASSDOM, Badtards, Ball de Cheese, Balls, bangin' your bud, BANGLAR After Action Report!, BANGLAR BALL BUSTER, BANGLAR BILLY MAYS HERE!!!!, BANGLAR BIRTHDAY!!, BANGLAR COFFEE, BANGLAR KING KONG!!, BANGLAR!, Barack Obama, barely passable trannies, Baseball, BBF, bbq, Beanie, Beauty Personified, Beaver Button, beefcake, Beer, Beer Tree Farm, Belly Button Micro Penis, Beret, Beriberi, Big Stones, Birfday, Birthday Beat Down, birthday beating for bro-cav, Birthday Cake, Black helicopters, Blankie, Blue Man Group, BOO!!!, Boobs, Books, BOOP!, Booze, Bowel Prep, Bowler, braunschweiger, Brazil, Breitbart, Brian Williams, bro-cav is sorry he's not sorry about leering at boobs, BroCav says - 2/10 would not pick again, BroCav wants one of you lame bastigae to create a recipe category - i see nothing good coming of that - but who am i to criticize the genius of the ppl around this chat room: salt to taste, Brown Snow, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Brut, Bugout Jelly, Bunker Pants!, bushmcchimpyhitlerhalliburton, but not the good kind, butt-pokey blues, Button Nose, Buzzcut, By The Beard Of Odin!, Caffeine, CAIR, california lesbian in love, Canine, Cartman, Cash for Crunkers, cashew, cat blogging, Catnaps, cats are evul, cereal, CHAD, Chapeau, Cheedy, cheese, Cheese Ball, Cheese Log Guzzler, Cheez Wiz, chi-chi was here category, Chicks dig a nice tool, Chief Grumpybutt, Chocolate, Chubs, Cinco De Mayo, Citrus Ursine Weiner Beverage, Cockfacefuckaloo, Compound W, Conspiracy theories for $500 Alex, conspiracy theory, Consumption, cool tunes, Coonskin, coonskin cap, Corncob Pipe, cow snot, Cowboy, Crime and Punishment, crisp bills, CRUNK JUICE!!!, Cults, Dan Rather, Dan's Pickled Eggs, Dan's Pickled Nutsack, Dang. I mean...dang., DDH, Death by Fishstick, Deck The Halls, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, Democrat Clown Car 2020, democrats, Dial C for cooter, dicking bimbos, dig deep the gathering gloom, dinkie dinky dunkers divin' deep, Does this look infected?, Dog Centric, dog love, Don't Make Me Kill You, Don't Talk Shit About Total, Double or nothing, Douche-bagger, Dr B wants to Spank you, Drinking heavily, Drugs, Drunken SeaHorse Blogging, duck face, ducks are people too, Earworm dammit, Easter Eggs, Easter Pig, Eat a bag of dicks, Ed Balls, Ejaculate Responsibly - car in demands it, Electrical, ember shoes, Emily, Emily's Dull Affect, erection day coverage, Fake Butt Accurate, fancy first dates and frilly underwear, Fart! Fart! 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Let it all out!, Granny Clinton, Grippe, groomin' your shroom, grope em if you got em, H2 Eulogy, H2 Pets, H2 Wedding, Hai Karate, Hambone, Hanks, Happy, Happy B-Day Michael, Happy Birfday Baby Jesus!!, Happy Birfday Wiser, Hardware, Headless Whoresman, Heads I win, Heavy Metal Thunder, Helen Thomas, Helen Thomas's Scrotum, Help me Regis, hey Poncho - that's Wiser!, High and tight, High Society Trash Bloggin', Hitler, Holidays, homophobe, hopey changey shit, Hosefuckers, Hostages Legal Aid, Hot Diggity Dog, Hot Dog Size Clitoris, Hot-n-tot's birthday beating, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, how much wood wood a peckerwood peck if a peckerwood was drunk and went around pecking wood?, Huevos divorciados, Hulk Smash, Hunks, Hunky Hump Day, I am, I am judging you, i can't believe 3PO didn't have a golf catergory in here, I did not stick a cigar in that chick's cootch, i don't care if it doesn't rime - anciently or otherwise, I Don't Give A Shit, I feel like chicken tonight., I Love You Peeps, I used to be funneh and shit, I Will Kick Your Ass, I'm 7 Indians, I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy, I'm all out of bubble gum, I'm gonna need new batteries, I'm not judging you, i'm zero indians, If You Don't Like PattyAnn, illuminati, Incisor, Invisible Hand Spanking Machine, is tee-roy still in prison?, is there such a thing as bad bud? better axe the muppet, is there such a thing as bad head, Is This Ham Still Good?, It must be true!, It's Decorative Gourd Season Motherf*ckers, It's OK to be Ghey - or so teh Pope doth say, Jayson Blair, Jeebus, Jesus Freak, John Galt, Joke thread, Juice, Just Another Fucking Category, just another jimbroglio, just the D…, Kenya, Kinky Afro, Knockers, Kyle, Lactation, lazy bastards anonymous, Lazy Man's Lobster, Le Luc Long, Learn some shit, Leave Poland Alone, LEMON PARTY BISHES!!!, Lesbians, libtards, Like you know how to read., Literature, Loaded dice, Lobster Benedict, Lobster Newburg, Lobster roll, Lobster Thermidor, LOVE SALT!!!, Luckiest Dog Alive, Lumbago, Lumber, lying phquer, macadamia, Magic Carrot For Your Mom, Magic Hat, Make Him Stop - everybody probably, Makin' Bacon, Man, Man-Lesbian, Man-lesbians, ManBearPig, Marathon not a sprint, mardi gras groping, Marez-ee-dotes, marriage, Master Henry, Maxi Pads, meatdickbreath, meghan mccain fat, memememems, Mercurochrome, Merry Christmas, mesadick, Methadone Clinic Cougar, Microvag, milestones, Mini Eggs, misogyny, Mister Mxyzptlk, mittelschmerz, Moist, Molar, monkey love, mons of Marmota monax, Moon Pie Smash, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, mother fuckin' snakes under a mother fuckin' board, Mother's Day, motorboating done wrong, motorboating the brown-ringed zero, Muddle My Mint, Muppet Porn & You, Music Classics, mutha fuckin bootleg fireworks, My safe contains your mom, My Sharona, Nasal Nostalgia, Nate Silver, needs more tartar sauce, Never Gonna Give You Up, new post, new post needed ASAP!!!, NHL, Nice Melons, Nigeria, No Drama, No more wire hangers, no wait ---- a TRULY Amazing Post, North American Goat Love Association, nose nuggets, NOT another post by Pupster, Not Boobs, not boyfrien, Not Enough Categories ffs, Not in the mood for a funny poat, not mannish monday madness, Not yo baby, O, October Surprise, Oh Yeah?, Okay, Old Person, Old Spice, One Foot Muff, Oops., open your chaste mouth, oprah's big booty band, Oprah's Chocolate Starfish, Oprah's Slut Club, Oso made me do it!!!!, OWS, OWS Douchebags, oxycontin, oy!!, Pants Up, Don't Loot, paris hilton whore, Peace Through Douche, peanut, peanuts and corn the night before, pecan, pelvic rest, pelvic thrust, Penis Sipper, people make me sick, People Was Educated, personal junk, pets, Phone blogging, Pinch A Loaf, Pink Floyd, playing Hide the Salmon, Pleurisy, Plugged nickel, Plumbing, poat, police involvement, polishing turds, Politics, Pompadour, Poon In Ivy, POON!, Prankophilia, Pre-Law, Premolar, presidential portrait - poon in ivy, pron, pruritus ani, Pull My Finger Dammit!, Punk Rock, Puns are awesome, Pure Genius, pushing the tit wheelbarrow, quesadillas, QUID PRO QUO, QWERTY, racist, rape culture, Really, redhead, Redhead Bonus Points, Redheaded Dumpster Fire, Regaling the old Rumpus Room, Remembrance, rhymes with "your mom", Richard Butt RIP, riding the cock carousel, right wing rethuglican, robust hindquarters, Rocky Dennis, Ronaldus Maximus, Rosetta Likes This, Rub meat, Rule 34, Rumpus Room Rumba, rush limbaugh, Russian Collusion, Sac and Fox, Safety, Sandra Fluke, Say "What" Again, Scurvy, Secret Santa, Shark Week, She-Meat, Sherwin Fucking Williams, shit squirters, SHIZZLAP, show me your tits, shut your whore mouth, skittles, slut, Smoke a pole, Smokeshow, Snake, Snake Juice, Snake juice guzzler, soakin' the ole T-bone, Socialism!, Sodium Chloride Fornication, Someone needs a sandwich, Sorry., Space pens, starfish, Steamed Lobster, Stetson, Stetson (for men), STFU, Stop Trying To Make TuesD'AWWW Happen, Strap On Anonymous, Stroller, stupid fucking hippies, Suck It., Suddenly Sumo, Summaries, Superblood, supersonic faggotronic, Sure Why Not, Sweet Tunes, swinging with friends, Tails you lose, Taint Pics of Osprey, Taint Tanner, Taint what you think, Taking The Browns To The Super Bowl, Tards, taste the rainbow, Tastes Less Like Regular, Tastes More Like Regular, teh funny, Ten Gallon, tenterhooks, The 1%, The Bear Is Loose, the big OOOOOOOOOOOO, The Cat's Pajamas, The More You Know, the old ass-hair combover trick, The Religion of Peace, The Religion of Piece, The Wire, Things that really matter, This Blog Powered by Squirrel Farts, This is fucking bullshit, This is why I shouldn't watch movies I haven't seen in years., this poat is dedicated to XBeeRad, this post stinks, Thor!, Thorific, those are some big boobs, Those Who Serve, Three card Monte, Tincture of iodine, Tinfoil lingerie, TITS, Too Much Pressure, Totally Nude, Touser Snake Lovers Anonymous, transphobe, Trump's Fault, truther, Tube Steak Fever, tubgirl, Tuesday, Turkey Taint, TurtleFacePlant, Uncategorized, unicorns, Uniform, unintended consequences, vagine, Vaseline Kiss, Vlatabadababadoodoo, walnut, WarPr0n, We don't need no stinking categories, weather blog, Weekend Memes, weiner, What the Fuck, Jenny?, whatever, Where's Cyn?, Where's MJ?, Where's Thor?, Whiny little twerp, whiskey, Whitey is teh Debble, Who Cut The Cheese?, Who You Calling Racist?, who's turn is it to grope Cyn, Why Do We Need Categories?, wing nut wingnut, Wipe your Cobarruvias!, Wisdom, wisermeany, With a tire iron, Xanthan gum, Yard and Garden, Yellow Fever, yo!, You have some Junk in the Trump, You Love Fish, It's Your Favorite, You Make Me Feel Like Dancing, you might be gay if you like this, You People Make Me Sick, YOU WISH, You're a douchenozzle for playing the Rosetta card, You're a TOTAL douche, You're gonna love my nuts, Your dad likes this, Your Mom, your mom has a robust rumpus room, your mom is a fish monger, your mom likes a slippery trout, Your mom likes this, your mom loves felt love, Your Mom LOVES my snake juice, Your mom sends her love, Your mom should be on the new ten, your mom's cooter, your mom's flower, Your Welcome Hotspur, Z - we don't have a Z, zero fucks, ZOMFG!!11ty!, Zzyzx . . Author: pajama momma . Comments: 241 Comments
This is going to be 90 minutes that we’ll never get back. Joe Biden is one of the dumbest guys to grace the national political stage. Everyone knows this. His family are grifters, his wife is a power hungry hag and his political round table is made up of old, fat, corrupt guys that have absolutely no issue with putting a hand up a skirt or 3. Fuck this guy sideways.
BIDEN
VS
GEOTUS
September 29, 2020
Categories: !RALGNAB, BANGLAR BIRTHDAY!!, BANGLAR COFFEE, BANGLAR KING KONG!!, BANGLAR!, Barack Obama, bbq, Beanie, Beauty Personified, Beaver Button, beefcake, Beer, Boobs, Books, BOOP!, Bowel Prep, BroCav wants one of you lame bastigae to create a recipe category - i see nothing good coming of that - but who am i to criticize the genius of the ppl around this chat room: salt to taste, Brown Snow, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Chief Grumpybutt, Chocolate, Chubs, Happy B-Day Michael, Happy Birfday Baby Jesus!!, Happy Birfday Wiser, Hardware, Headless Whoresman, Heads I win, I Love You Peeps, I used to be funneh and shit, I Will Kick Your Ass, I'm 7 Indians, I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy, I'm all out of bubble gum, Just Another Fucking Category, just another jimbroglio, just the D…, Kenya, Kinky Afro, Knockers, Man-lesbians, ManBearPig, Marathon not a sprint, mardi gras groping, Marez-ee-dotes, oy!!, Pants Up, Don't Loot, paris hilton whore, quesadillas, QUID PRO QUO, QWERTY, racist, riding the cock carousel, right wing rethuglican, robust hindquarters, Rocky Dennis, Ronaldus Maximus, Snake juice guzzler, Strap On Anonymous, Stroller, Thorific, those are some big boobs, Those Who Serve, Your Mom, your mom has a robust rumpus room, your mom is a fish monger, your mom likes a slippery trout, Your mom likes this, your mom loves felt love, Your Mom LOVES my snake juice, your mom's flower, Your Welcome Hotspur, Z - we don't have a Z, zero fucks, ZOMFG!!11ty! . . Author: MJ (k/k-style) . Comments: 85 Comments
What Everyone wants to do, across the nation.
March 31, 2020
Categories: brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Glitter Vomit for the Bulemics, Marez-ee-dotes, redhead, Snake juice guzzler, TurtleFacePlant, your mom's flower . . Author: Jay in Ames . Comments: 106 Comments
Oh you knew the song already?
New Tuesday thing. Pun of the day. I have to share all the puns from Punderdome, given to me by a very thoughtful Hostage.
Why were two kids fighting at the prom? (answer later!)
December 31, 2019
Categories: #H2, Barack Obama, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Compound W, Electrical, Glitter Vomit for the Bulemics, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, John Galt, lying phquer, Mother's Day, Oprah's Chocolate Starfish, polishing turds, Safety, the big OOOOOOOOOOOO, Turkey Taint, You're a TOTAL douche, Zzyzx . . Author: Jay in Ames . Comments: 136 Comments
Yep, you guessed the song! Maybe not the arrangement, though:
It’s after Thanksgiving, we can put up the Christmas decorations now.
December 10, 2019
Categories: #hashtag, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, rape culture, Snake juice guzzler, you might be gay if you like this, Zzyzx . . Author: Jay in Ames . Comments: 132 Comments
Of course those words make no sense together. I began with the idea of showing some morale patches and then needed a title. After contemplating how close morale was to moral and wondering if there was any correlation between the two words I had a headache. So I poured more coffee. Then I realized I was one letter away from a MMM post of my own. And since we all love a good MMM I ran with it.
May 2, 2019
Categories: # Hashtag, #H2, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, Balls, BANGLAR BALL BUSTER, Boobs, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, california lesbian in love, Emily's Dull Affect, Finely Freckled, fishy, foreskin, Gotta tattooed tit say number 13, Happy B-Day Michael, I Will Kick Your Ass, is there such a thing as bad head, It's OK to be Ghey - or so teh Pope doth say, just another jimbroglio, Marathon not a sprint, Marez-ee-dotes, motorboating done wrong, Muppet Porn & You, O, Oprah's Chocolate Starfish, People Was Educated, POON!, Pre-Law, pushing the tit wheelbarrow, rhymes with "your mom", Snake juice guzzler, Ten Gallon, this poat is dedicated to XBeeRad, Those Who Serve, Uniform, What the Fuck, Jenny?, Where's Cyn?, You have some Junk in the Trump . . Author: Jimbro . Comments: 103 Comments
Everyone shut your smollet hole and pay attention for a second. Donald Trump is god’s gift to conservatives. You may quibble with his demeanor, his communication style, or his brash NY sensibilities. You may not quibble with his results. As George Washington once said of the great Civil War general Winston Churchill, ‘I can’t spare this man. He fights.’
Ladies and gentleman, I believe this is the difference between the GOP and Trump voters. The CC republicans can’t and won’t fight, whereas his base is begging for it. Brigadier General Jay-Z said it best when referring to the chickenheads of the Afrikorps on the eve of the battle of Saratoga…
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a ho (never trump)
This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy
But a pussy having no goddamn sense try and push me
I tried to ignore ’em, talk to the Lord
Pray for ’em, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight
If that doesn’t perfectly describe Jonah Goldberg I don’t what does. Loud as a motorbike, but couldn’t bust a grape in a food fight. Dammit man, do a few burpees and have some self respect.
Today’s model is a gorgeous and slim bed duster. You’re welcome! Please put down your ski masks, white face, clothesline, and red hats and welcome Antonella Khallo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
March 29, 2019
Categories: 7 of 9 fucks not given, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, Bacon Strips, bacon wrapped booger, BANGLAR!, Barack Obama, Booze, Bowel Prep, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Bugout Jelly, Dang. I mean...dang., filbert, Finely Freckled, High Society Trash Bloggin', Hitler, Holidays, I'm not judging you, i'm zero indians, Lobster Newburg, Lobster Thermidor, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, mother fuckin' snakes under a mother fuckin' board, Not in the mood for a funny poat, open your chaste mouth, oprah's big booty band, Regaling the old Rumpus Room, She-Meat, Snake Juice, Tards, Tastes Less Like Regular, Tincture of iodine, Where's Cyn?, Where's MJ?, Where's Thor?, Wipe your Cobarruvias!, your mom is a fish monger, Your mom likes this, Your mom sends her love, your mom's cooter, your mom's flower, Your Welcome Hotspur, ZOMFG!!11ty! . . Author: MJ (k/k-style) . Comments: 91 Comments
Serving your needs while waiting for MJ to put up a toddler post or Jim Accoster to apologize. Whichever comes first.
November 8, 2018
Categories: #H2, 4/10 Would Still Smash, 7 / 9 fucks given, 7 of 9 fucks not given, 9/10 Dentists Would Smash, amazing post, bacon wrapped booger, Baconwrappedboobbeer, Ball de Cheese, BANGLAR COFFEE, Boobs, BOOP!, brown trout - no not that kind you vile cretin, Bugout Jelly, Snake juice guzzler . . Author: Jimbro . Comments: 32 Comments
The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
March 3, 2021
Our government is a giant shitball of incompetents, liars and fascist pricks.
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
Checking Your Mom's Drawers for Hope&Change since March 2009 
