So we’re 1 week (+/-) out from teh calendericacal spring and we have nothing but blue skies and butterflies in the forecast (hhe he heeeeeee).
We got enough snow overnight to be irritating enough to cause delays around the are. I checked out Mr. Weatherman and that punk says there’s at least two more weeks of cold weather – down into the teens; the robins and redwing blackbirds better have packed their electric underoos cuz baby it’s gonna be cold out for a little bit longer.
Taking bets on who in this chat room spent the most amount of time in detention – the first one to say “never” is a filthy liar (or was a late bloomer).
Because this is a classy place
&
I am most assuredly a classy guy –
Some Music:
Some Poetry:
“”Sing, sweet bird, I kneen nat where thou art!”
This Nicholas anon let fle a fart
As greet as it had been a thonder-dent
That with the strook he was almost yblent (blinded)
And he was ready with iron hoot
And Nicholas ammyd the ers he smoot.[7]”
Some Art: (no not that kind)
I got stress. Stress makes me overeat or make bad choices, or at least degrades my willpower to the point that I don’t have as an easy time keeping to the plan. Last week was also an experiment in shifting my eating window based on some “circadian rhythm” research that strongly suggests hormonal benefit to earlier eating rather than later eating, assuming one is eating in a time-restricted window. I did it for 7 days, and skipping dinner is much, much harder than skipping breakfast and lunch. I also closed on my construction loan last week (stressor) and had a pre-appeals-board meeting with County Health and Safety. Today I get to call the Department of Environmental Quality to schedule a site visit and talk about my driveway and the pond I’d like to dig. And I’m up 4# from last Monday, which, well, see the earlier part of this paragraph.
I have this same crucifix necklace, but I wear it on a steel chain.
Do me a favor, would you? Go into the bathroom or your bedroom or look down at your shoe and give yourself a long look in the mirror. Try to look a little disappointed, and say this out loud, ‘I will never be a as good of a person as Lauraw. Not if I invented a time machine and prevented Barak Hussein Obama from becoming president. Not if I found and convinced Mila Kunis to spend an evening with MJ. Not if I opened a weed farm and put MJ in charge of quality control. There is nothing I can do to be funnier or more thoughtful that Lauraw.
Then punch yourself in the balls/vag.
Behold, the Deadmaublanket5.
So I’m currently in Spain after spending the week in Baumholder, Germany. One of the perks of the job is that we go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors. One of the downsides of the job is that we have to go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors. It’s normally cool, but sucks when the base is located in a backwater next to nothing but small towns and the locals don’t speak English. But luckily I don’t have to do an assessment of Fort Polk this year.
I don’t care how fat, purple haired, and poorly tattooed you are…if you don’t think Melania Trump is beautiful, there’s something wrong with your brain. Everyone pretended to love and was eerily forced to affirm that Moochelle was radiant and smart while neither were really true. She’s a dog and everyone knows it. Melania, on the other paw, is intelligent, well spoken, and fiercely protective of her family. She has class, which we sorely need.
Proof that god loves Trump: Melania
A sarcastic or vengeful god would have given Trump a more Chelsea-esque daughter to mock his obvious love of himself. But instead, our benevolent creator granted him with not one, but two lovely female offspring. Ivanka and Tiffany are warm, funny, intelligent, and dedicated to their families. They don’t need a PR campaign or obviously fake attempts to appear as insert-consultant-generated-words-to-convey-humanity-here to their fellow countrymen. And they both look good in leather pants, which is more than we can say for Chubble.
Proof that God loves Trump: His daughters
And lastly, there is no greater gift to a politician than a good foil. As I’ve often said, there’s only one person that Trump could have beaten to become President, and there’s only one person that Hillary could have lost to. No matter the situation, she appears robotic, tone deaf, scripted, and always attempts to lie when the simple truth will do. Dropped something on your foot or stubbed a toe? Nope! She was running down the stairs, coffee cup in hand, shouting important orders to an unnamed underling. Pass out and get chucked into van like a side of beef? She’s just fine! It’s a lovely Spring day and why look here! A random child to hug which will make a splashy picture! She’s so strong and brave to stand upright in this unrelenting 68 degree heat!
Hillary is a Christmas nightmare. The terrible gift that just keeps giving.
Proof that God loves Trump: Hillary Rodham Clinton
Enemies of the State
It’s still not too late to get a good costume for Halloween. Don’t wait till the last minute or you’ll end up going as Gumby again.
The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
