A Momentous Tragedy has Befallen Us

There has been an event that cannot go unmentioned. One that will betray the trust we all put into one of America’s greatest institutions.

I was carrying out one of the greatest pleasures that all Americans enjoy all too often. A task where we celebrate the labors of our fellow Americans at the pinnacle of their everyday efforts. Something everyone can be proud of, something everyone does without much thought, but the impact of which will reach down to the core of the self. Such a delightful experience, with a beautiful globally warmed environment keeping my temperature at an elevated level.

After arriving home from my enlightened journey through the aisles of one of America’s greatest institutions, I was unaware of the events about to unfold. I let my guard down. I relaxed. I was not at the peak of my abilities. this made the tragedy that much more astounding.

It was during the preparations for the upcoming week that the full effect of events would hit me like a ton of bricks. I held aloft the sword of Damocles, ready to dispatch an unsuspecting victim to the list of accomplishments that must be completed to fulfill the week, when I witnessed the unfolding of the tragedy to befall all tragedies.

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MMM 373: A full ton of grass clippings

So if you ever let parts of your lawn “go” in the hopes of making hay out of it, you’ll get some surprises.  You may find that some of it is actually rye and timothy, which will grow tall and straight and will become hay readily, but you’ll likely also find that quite a bit of it… doesn’t.  You’ll see some grass that has thin, whispy blades that fall down, twist into cowlicks, and generally get matted like a long-haired cat with bad grooming habits.  If you subsequently try to mow that, you’ll learn that there’s a limited amount of torque your mower is actually capable of exerting, and you’ll get to do a few restarts, assuming you can even clear the deck and let the blade spin again.

Meg squats is her yoo boob channel.

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BBF

Welcome to Big Boob Friday. Well, we’ll see if I get booed out of the room for this one or if this gets pushed down like whoever gets in the way of your mom at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
So I saw this video:

(There’s a pretty good metal version of a Britney Spears song that I like better than the original)
And I thought, “Self, those dancers are pretty hot, they gave their Instagram addresses, I bet that would make a decent BBF post.” So here we are.
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