Tour de Pants

The Tour of France by bicycle lasts most of the month of July. This year I think I read 2 articles about it. One was how the 2 guys who cover the race on TV are brilliant and the other one a couple of days ago discussing how the rider from the winning team is part of a system that has made the race boring by their success. Despite reading both of these articles (skimming is more like it) I cannot tell you who actually won the race. tour-de-france-main-crash

Crashes in bike races, especially road bikes, is part of the fun of watching. Sort of like NASCAR. Fast cars driving around an oval shaped track for hours on end. When they show the highlights, what do they show other than the winner drinking milk and the crashes? That’s right.

The Tour de France is one of those elitist sports that people who don’t watch the debased American sports like football and soccer claim to watch. Sort of like being a vegan…you’ll know if someone follows the tour within 5 minutes of meeting them. World cup soccer, international tennis, cricket, the list goes on and on. All of these things are fine, including being a vegan if you want to do that (dog whistle to Leon), I just don’t want to hear about how they’re superior to traditional American sports!

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BBF

Hello good people, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model is a former cam girl, current porn star, who made a video of petting the kitty in the school library that went viral and got her expelled.  Born in Salem, Oregon on June 16, 1995, 5’9″ 32G-25-35 and 125lbs.  Please form an orderly line and check out Miss Kendra Sunderland.

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Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

MMM 266: Earworm

Stuck in my head for like a week now.  Time to exorcise the demon:

Cute girl just working out in practical clothing.  Nice.

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BBF

Hello interspecies friends, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Drink of the week.

 

Your model was born in London, England, UK, Great Britain on September 27th, 1988.  She stands 5’5″ and measures 34F-27-32 on the holyshit scale.  Please clean your bowl and welcome, Miss Sammie Pennington!

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MMM 262: the start of year 6

 

So I reckon these things mostly by how often I have 52 binders’ worth of weeks in the can, but last week was the end of year 5 of this august institution, making this the beginning of year 6.  How time flies, amirite?

RBF sufferer?

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MMM 258: Some kind of hate

So I watched the heck out of this movie on HBO when I was a kid.  It’s on Netflix now:

If you’ve got 90 minutes, it’s a great nostalgia piece.  Sheen does his “sober guy” character for a change.  And there’re a lot of Pontiacs going fast.  And Turbo!

Kettlebells.

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