David Brooks is the Sandwich Artist of Virtue Signaling

From the NYTimes, so don’t click.

Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican.

American upper-middle-class culture (where the opportunities are) is now laced with cultural signifiers that are completely illegible unless you happen to have grown up in this class. They play on the normal human fear of humiliation and exclusion. Their chief message is, “You are not welcome here.”

–David Brooks

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BBF

Hello spelunkers and drink-mixers, welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Our model for today was born December 27th, 1989 in Wordsley, Dudley, West Midlands, England.  5’5“, 34E-25-37 and 105 lbs, please express yourself artistically  and say hello to Miss Caitlin Wynters!

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Apropos Of Nothing

There are certain words and phrases we occasionally encounter when reading that we sort of know their meaning. We might have looked up them up once in the distant past, know a root word or understood by intuition the intended meaning within the context it was used. “Apropos of nothing” is one of those phrases for me. I don’t think I’ve ever uttered those words in conversation. I may have imagined myself saying them somewhere in the English countryside before politely asking someone to please pass the Grey Poupon mustard. Well, after a lifetime of waiting for the moment, I finally wrote the words in an email to someone where I linked a story about the use of poppy seed oil to increase fertility. I’d never heard of that technique before and was still processing the concept in my head when I wrote a friendly email and just had to share the story. Which is what prompted the “apropos of nothing” lead in to the link.

So what’s it mean? Stolen from the world wide web I give you this definition:

Without reference to anything. // Without any apparent reason or purpose.

Does that sound like anything we all know and love? A certain blog? Rhymes with “The Sausages“? I’m sure you all have similar words you run across that you have the same feeling about.

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Großer Boob Freitag

Hello beaver chasers, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

I really dig this band, I haven’t heard a song I don’t like.

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Your features today are a current TV Personality and former Adult Model, born February 8th, 1978 in Frankfort, Oder, East Germany.  She measures 37-24-33, stands 4’11” and 123lbs.  Bitte hol mir ein Bier and say hello to Miss Bettie Ballhaus !

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BBF

Hello students, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

God I love that song.

Me:  Big boat deluxe,  big boat denied

Google Play:  Big boat devolves, big boat deny

Lyrics A-Z:  Big broken love, big broken knives

Revolve Lyrics:  Big boat deloves, big boat denies

 

Your model was born in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on February 5th, 1991, and currently resides in Los Angeles, California.  She stands 5′8″, 110lbs and 34C-24-34 on the nevergonnahappen scale.  Please stop ignoring the pussy and welcome, Miss Ellie Gonsalves!

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Sunday Invitational

Have some breakfast while we discuss something of grave importance.

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I volunteered to host a meat face this summer.  There will be food and drinks and maybe a bouncy house for Leon and MJ.  We will have to pick a date but who’s in?

And how do you put a poll in this fucking thing?  WordPress used to have polls.

 

*Update by Pupster*

BBF

Hello personal space monkies, and welcome to Big Boob Friday!

 

 

 

Your model for today is a 20 something student from Los Angeles, CA, who made her big break playing tennis in a bikini on Youtube. Please stop crowding each other and welcome, Miss Elizabeth Anne!

 

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Cheeto Doll Hands vs Pickles McShoutysick

Well well my groovy pets. It looks like another debate season is upon us. The one thing I’ve learned since last time, when Mitt the dog killing automaton who wears magical underwear, was dispatched by Barry the golfing, TV addicted slacker, is that the truth and actual policy has nothing to do with politics.

I’ve been reading columns from the intellectuals today and they are utterly convinced that Ol Lady Goofy Eye is just going to to overwhelm The Based Orange God with her superior knowledge of detailed policy.  The following quote is from Jim Newell, a semi literate blogger at Slate. I’d wager dollars to delicious cream filled donuts that his wife’s boyfriend just won’t listen to him and is voting from Trump. Harrumph!

In the Dec. 15 debate held in Las Vegas, CNN guest questioner Hugh Hewitt asked Trump which element of the aging nuclear triad he felt was most urgently in need of an upgrade. Trump’s response was a jumble of nonsense about Iraq and Syria that made clear he had never heard the term, which refers to land-, air-, or sea-based systems for delivering nuclear weapons. That’s not great. But it’s deeper than terminology: It was clear that he had never considered the question of nuclear arsenal maintenance.

Yeah Jim, we’d really like to know each candidate’s position on maintenance of the nuclear arsenal. If only Jim could explain to the guy on a date with his wife why this is so important. If he only knew how meaningful this issue is, he’d surely vote for Hillary! Too bad she turned her phone off and won’t be home until morning, smelling of water based lubricant and satisfaction.

I think people want two things: a president that is genuine and credible. You’ve heard me say this before, and I firmly believe these are the only two qualities that matter in life if you want to be successful.

So is Hillary genuine and credible? She’s credible, but she sure is shit isn’t genuine. It’s something she’s had 20+ years to correct and hasn’t done it yet. There’s no amount of reintroduction that can fix this problem. Hillary 9.0 is just like Hillary 1.0. Cold, boring, humorless, ambitious beyond reason, and broken morally. The current inhabitant of 1600 Penn Ave had her pegged right when he said, ‘she’s likable enough.’ But that ain’t gonna do it. People want more than ‘enough,’ which is probably how we got Obama in the first place.

Is Trump genuine or credible? I think he’s genuine, almost to a fault. It’s his sword and shield–sometimes to his great detriment. Credible seems to be a jump ball. I’m sure there are a lot of people that just can’t quite picture him as president yet. The upside is that he can still make the sale. It’s an open ended question that hasn’t quite been defined even though Hillary has been working on this since the summer (but remember, she’s not credible so she doesn’t get to define anything).

All Trump has to do is look credible. That’s it–a pretty low bar.

If you’re not up on our bet, the loser formerly known as Hotspur and I are engaged in a little wager; if Trump wins, he comes to Charlotte for a visit. If Hillary wins I fly up to Ann Arbor to hang out at the ghetto bar. Either way, it’ll be good to see my old friend, shake his hand, and tuck into  a nice hot plate of fish sticks. And that’s the only truth that matters ;)

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