Big Boob Friday

Good morning boys and girls. I’ll confess that I went to bed last night having completely forgotten about this, but as I drifted off in to sweet dreams I was suddenly jerked awake with the thought that I had agreed to do this week’s BBF. So this BBF is thrown together at the last minute, but really isn’t that the standard with this place? You don’t get the BBF you want, but perhaps the BBF you need, and even deserve.

Seaweed Gardening Blog

I hope you have some tissues handy

My parents recently took a trip to Philadelphia, and all I got was this lousy summer cold that they brought back with them. Well, that and some electronics. But I digress.
 
I thought I would make a poat about this POS cold that I have, and I did what I always do–I went to YouTube to find some funny nonsense.
 
That’s where things got weird.

GrandpaWiser

80 years young! He still looks pretty good for a octogenarian, but I attribute that to his rigorous gardening and workout schedule, and a steady diet of mediocre tex-mex.

When are the fajitas coming? I’m hungry. It’s almost 4:30.

 

The Hostages, Giffffffyyyyyyy

You’ll poke your eye out, kid.

 

Big Boob Friday

Good day, miscreants. I was just thinking to myself, ‘MJ, you know what this shithole dump needs? Boobs, and lots of them.’ Good thing it’s Friday, my groovy tuckers. You’re in luck.

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But first things second. I wrote this song whilst Eddie Vetter and I were taking our pitbulls for a walk through a loverly Seattle park. We saw a pack of wild hippies and our snarling, wild beasts were hungry. I looked at him and said, ‘drop the leash my good man, your pooch looks absolutely famished!.’ And he did. Fin.

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Today’s model was a subject of great debate this morning. GND says that this chick isn’t fat, but that she’s a little hippy. I think she’s a big girl, with big girl features. Anyhoo, her god given, not made up name is Carlotta Champagne. She stands 5’6″ and graduated from the same college as GND. No shit, I’m not kidding. Please stop sacrificing virgins at your Scott Walker altar long enough to welcome….a fat chick.

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Scott Walker–A Pictorial Retrospective

 

 

Governor Walker returns from a business trip.

Governor Walker attends the Brewers home opener in 2014.

Flying Monkey

As some of you know, I spend a little bit of time on planes these days. At first, I was a bit apprehensive about flying all of the time. The bad food, recycled farts that pass for air, sleeping in weird beds, Ebola! and possibility of Chad causing a mid air collision, eventually gave way to the tremendous joy of waiting in line, waiting in a seat on the plane, and waiting at baggage claim. J-FUCKING-OY!!!!!

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I kid. It’s actually quite fun now that I’ve gotten comfortable with a job that is primarily going places. One thing I’ve learned is to check your ticket, the gate, and not to listen to deafening 80s pansy rock whilst the boarding agents are calling out flights. I actually was allowed to board a plane headed for Chicago when I should have been going to Charlotte. The gates were right next to each other and they swapped about 15 minutes before boarding…at the same time. The weird part is that they let me on the plane. Once we figured out I was on the wrong plane we all had a good laugh and then I got a bit more attention from our friends at the TSA than I would have liked. The good part was that I got to spend an extra night in Kansas City!!!!! So much to do and see at the airport while nursing a sore rectum!!!!

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Big Boob TITS–A Story of Love, Redemption, and Liver Damage

Good morning repeat customers to the Fappening II, Oprah Poses with Stedman and Gail. I think you are all disgusting pigs for looking at boobs of really hot chicks because I’m a feminist and feminists defend the right for ugly chicks to pretend they are having sex. Which leads me to our second topic: what song did MJ write?

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I guess we could think about the weekend like this: rather than Dave falling into a body of water, The Almighty Hisself was going to recognize TITR by making the body of water fall onto Dave. Blog people, we are going to bear witness to a miracle in the desert…rain. To those of you that couldn’t make it…I wrote this song for you way back in 1975 with a bunch of hosers with really bad teeth, limited musical talent, and a scorching case of herpes.

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This is a hot chick with great big titties and a British accent. Her name is Libby Smith and I’m 99.99% sure that you’ve seen her before, either in your Fappening folder or in a former edition of BBF. Please put down your tweezers and weenus and give her a big ‘ol welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You know, like, whatever