Monday Motivational Mumbo-Jumbo

Soooo, all summer, I had “events” to train for, and dieting just wasn’t on my mind .   But now … there is not really anything on the horizon- no big challenges, etc. No excuses.

So  I stepped on the scale and this is what I saw:

 

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I’d like to drop about 15 pounds, so today is the first day of the rest of my … bla bla bla.

Onto the “motivational” pictures.

What do we have in the “binders” today… oh, lookie here …

Fat women:

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Fat man:

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Fat Cat:

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Fat Dog:

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Fat mouse:

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Fat horse:

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Fat Patrick Star:

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I think I’ve illustrated the “fat” point pretty well. But WHAT diet to do? This one looks nice:

 

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Ten pounds in a week? Sign me up. Week and a half, and I’d be DONE.  I can’t find any information on it, so if anyone knows the ancient Chinese secret to losing 10 pounds in a week, drop me a line.

Then there is  Eat All You Want Diet , which speaks to me on a spiritual level.  You are supposed  to read your body’s cues about what you need to eat, and how much, etc. Which … I’m pretty sure is how most of us ended up in the shape we’re in.

Or perhaps the Skinny Bitch Diet?

In essence this is an extreme vegan diet that describes meat as ‘dead, rotting, decomposing flesh’. The list of forbidden foods includes all animal products (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy), refined flour, sugar, honey, beer, caffeine (coffee, tea, chocolate) and any food that contains chemical additives like artificial sweeteners. “Sugar is the devil and artificial sweeteners just as bad” they state.

Sounds like FUN!

I think the worst diet that I’ve actually known people to try is the “egg diet”.  I probably rolled my eyes the last time someone told me there were going on this diet.  LOSE 24 POUNDS in 14 DAYS!!!

Awesome, right?

How does it work? Well, this is basically what you eat:

Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs and 1 citric fruit.
-Lunch: 2 slices of bread and some fruit.
-Dinner: a bowl of salad and chicken.

 

…for two weeks.  Someone try it and let me know how it goes.

I’m going to just do the boring “count macros, eat less, work-out ” thing.   Mare is encouraged to call me a fat-ass until I reach my goal-ish range.   Macrostax is the program I’m using (it’s just an app) and I’ll up my running while I can, and continue with crossfit.

 

 

You’re all Tools

 

So, last Friday was Toolday: the day Tool fans from all around the world had waited 13 long years to arrive.  The. New. Album.  And some people just walked around like it was a normal day.   Oblivious to it’s greatness.

Behold the “unboxing”   of the limited edition. Yes, I have it. Unlike everyone else who didn’t pre-order.

 

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BBF

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

 

Your model for today was born on August 8th, 2000 in Austin, Tx.  She stands 5′ 7″,  and measures 32DD-22-32 and 117 lbs.  Please calm down and don’t be creepy with Miss Gabbie Carter.

 

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MMM 375: Lockjaw

Weekend was absolutely awful for yard work.  It was either too hot to be outdoors, or a torrential downpour of rain.  Saturday afternoon I stepped on a roofing staple that pierced my heel.

Did you know Walgreen’s does tetanus/diptheria/pertussis shots?

Beach jeans.

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Meme-ria

Fun songs, no felines fornicating in the foyer!

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BBF

Hello, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

 

 

Your model for today was born June 24, 1990 in Hitchin, Hertfordshire, England, U.K.  She stands 5″ 6″ and measures 35-25-37 and 121 lbs.  Please follow the leader  and say ‘ellolove to Miss Zara DuRose!

 

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Trash Talk Tuesday

My little mini-me is a sweet kid. In sports that can be a bit of a hindrance so over the past year or so I’ve been trying to up her game in the trash talk department.

It seems that some of the kids have been saying some off colored stuff for a while.

 

Who woulda thunk that kids could be mean

I explained that a not insignificant part of competition is the mental component and one should be prepared to ignore your opponents mouth while returning the volley with a ferocity that would make Genghis Khan blush…

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Carpal Tunnel Tuesday

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Four Seasons Converge

This time of year the worlds of football, baseball, basketball and hockey all meet and compete for our attention. There’s probably some golf, tennis and WNBA going on somewhere but, really, no one really knows. The A’s – Yankees AL Wild Card game is on in the background. One game to determine who faces the Red Sox. It’s been a good year to watch the Sox with all their winning. Despite that they have heartbreak written all over them. Their bullpen sucks and I’m guessing they’ll go home early. Alright, enough sports. Let’s turn to funny animals.

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