quesadillas | Changing Headers since March 2009

We’re in the Matrix

I’m pretty sure we’re living in a simulation. To support this claim I want to draw your attention to the crazy that is 2020.

First, we’re witnessing white people become absolute racists in order to combat racism. I can’t only assume one of our programmers left a hashtag open and, well, here we are.

Second, a Chinese virus that was supposed to end the world – or at least come close – has turned out to be a bad flu season. I would bet all of my fake money that the code was outsourced to India and they read the requirements wrong. Covid = sys.exit() got written as: scriptcovid.2 (covid = flu. Dot not feather, always fucking up the code, amiright?

And lastly, this poor soul seems to have been built from a base character, but the game developers forgot to make the change from sausage to taco.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the weirdest thing on the internet at the moment…Danielle Muscato. Here’s a brief recap of the story if you haven’t heard about it. Basically our friend Danielle went into a Kroger and blew up at some poor soul that wasn’t wearing a face diaper. Danielle tried to get help from the store security guard and manager but they declined to prosecute this grave injustice. In response, Danielle starting harassing Kroger and the manager about their policy, and well, the blowback was swift. Look, this probably happens a few hundred times a day but for some reason this really struck a nerve with people. I have no idea why, except that perhaps Danielle is the avatar for all social justice warriors and you know, is a man.

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August 11, 2020
Categories: #Championshiplevelboobs, #DeepanalBumpParty, #H2, Beer Tree Farm, Belly Button Micro Penis, chi-chi was here category, Chicks dig a nice tool, Chief Grumpybutt, Chocolate, Fourth Grade, Fuck golf, GOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!, Gotta tattooed tit say number 13, Gout! Gout! Let it all out!, Hot Dog Size Clitoris, Hot-n-tot's birthday beating, How come there's no category raggin' on roamy?, Le Luc Long, Learn some shit, Leave Poland Alone, monkey love, mons of Marmota monax, Moon Pie Smash, Mother Fuckin Bootleg, mother fuckin' snakes under a mother fuckin' board, pets, Pinch A Loaf, Pure Genius, pushing the tit wheelbarrow, quesadillas, Snake juice guzzler, STFU, Stop Trying To Make TuesD'AWWW Happen, Summaries, Three card Monte, vagine, Vaseline Kiss, your mom is a fish monger, your mom likes a slippery trout, Your mom likes this, Zzyzx . . Author: MJ (ghee/ghem) . Comments: 120 Comments

MMM 387: The Temple of Kukulcan

Reminder: Secret santa targets go out tonight after 7pm. If you want in, get in now.

The Werdpuss Editor lost all my content the first time I hit publish and I don’t have time to do it again. Outer layer built in ~900 AD, 3 layers that we know of, evidence of animal and human sacrifices on site, yada yada go read wikipedia.

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December 2, 2019
Categories: how much wood wood a peckerwood peck if a peckerwood was drunk and went around pecking wood?, Make Him Stop - everybody probably, quesadillas, racist, rape culture, Say "What" Again, Snake juice guzzler . . Author: leoncaruthers . Comments: 95 Comments

Thorsday Substitute Poat

Since Jimbro is off in the mountains receiving a heavy load from some shady contractor, I’ve agreed to put up a poat. The old one was smelling worse than your mom after Fleet Week. We haven’t had a rip-roaring, honest-to-God hurt feelings fight on this blog in far too long, so let’s talk about music.

So, I’m about two weeks out from leaving my job, and by the time you read this I will hopefully have an offer for a new job outside of California. Even if I don’t, I’m still leaving this state. And that means one thing… ROADTRIP! For the past nine months I’ve driven 45-75 minutes each way up to Santa Barbara each day for work. Obviously, spending that much time on the road means listening to the radio a lot. Thank the gods for Pandora, and Youtube on my phone. So I thought I’d put together a list of some of my favorite songs to listen to while driving. I decided to limit it to ten songs, about what I used to burn on a CD before a long road-trip. Obviously there are others, but if I had to pick ten to listen to for a couple of hours in parts of the country where the only radio stations are messican polka and the baptist station... the mixture below would be my top choice. Yeah, some of them are covers, but they’re better than the originals for keeping me awake and focused while on the road.

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June 14, 2018
Categories: #Problematic, Bacon Strips, Ball de Cheese, bangin' your bud, Bugout Jelly, bushmcchimpyhitlerhalliburton, Drinking heavily, Drunken SeaHorse Blogging, Earworm dammit, Happy Birfday Wiser, Headless Whoresman, It must be true!, Merry Christmas, motorboating done wrong, Music Classics, OWS Douchebags, quesadillas, Redhead Bonus Points, She-Meat, Snake juice guzzler, The Bear Is Loose, unintended consequences, You're a TOTAL douche, You're gonna love my nuts . . Author: Colorado Alex In Exile . Comments: 128 Comments

In Which Sean Holds Himself Up to Ridicule

You know, I used to absolutely hate poetry. Hated reading it, hated writing it, just generally hated everything about it. I was a prose guy, and I thought there was something silly and frivolous about scribbling thoughts into stanzas and trying to get them to scan and rhyme and all that crap.

Then, something changed. Maybe it was getting sober, though I have no idea why that would have any bearing on this. But over the past few years, I’ve found that there are certain instances where I can best put my thoughts in order by taking up quill and scroll and just churning out some of the old doggerel.

Before we go any further, let’s just get this out of the way here and now: