Big Boob Friday

Everyone shut your smollet hole and pay attention for a second. Donald Trump is god’s gift to conservatives. You may quibble with his demeanor, his communication style, or his brash NY sensibilities. You may not quibble with his results. As George Washington once said of the great Civil War general Winston Churchill, ‘I can’t spare this man. He fights.’

Ladies and gentleman, I believe this is the difference between the GOP and Trump voters. The CC republicans can’t and won’t fight, whereas his base is begging for it. Brigadier General Jay-Z said it best when referring to the chickenheads of the Afrikorps on the eve of the battle of Saratoga…

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a ho (never trump)
This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy
But a pussy having no goddamn sense try and push me
I tried to ignore ’em, talk to the Lord
Pray for ’em, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight

If that doesn’t perfectly describe Jonah Goldberg I don’t what does. Loud as a motorbike, but couldn’t bust a grape in a food fight. Dammit man, do a few burpees and have some self respect.

Today’s model is a gorgeous and slim bed duster. You’re welcome! Please put down your ski masks, white face, clothesline, and red hats and welcome Antonella Khallo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

BBF

Hello children, and welcome to Big Bibacious Friday.

 

bibacious (bɪˈbeɪʃəs) adjective  – tending to drink in excess

 

 

Your model for today was born in Surrey, England May 16th, 1989.  She stands 5′ 4″, 36F-26-36 and 110 lbs.  Please race me to welcome Miss Brook Little!

Tuesd’AWWW, WTF Edition

So I’m looking for cute animal pictures, like usual, and run across a lot of things that I’m not sure what they are.

I mean, what the Hell is this thing.

Is that a bunny? With its ears pinned back/ shorn off? I can’t really tell.

Colorado Alex’s Excellent Eurotrip Vacation

So I’m currently in Spain after spending the week in Baumholder, Germany.  One of the perks of the job is that we go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors.  One of the downsides of the job is that we have to go to military bases worldwide and do on the ground data collection, including interviews with local realtors.  It’s normally cool, but sucks when the base is located in a backwater next to nothing but small towns and the locals don’t speak English.  But luckily I don’t have to do an assessment of Fort Polk this year.

My Friends Are Better Than Your Friends

Wait, wut? So quick baby update and a big thank you to some very nice people for sending gifts to the house. Its been a truly wonderful experience to understand how many people are wishing the little guy well. I’m super pleased that he’ll have a whole group of crazy aunts, uncles, and inflatable sheep to make sure he doesn’t turn into a giant pain in the ass.

Blankie Engineered by NASA

Shane’s World

Ok, all the pervs who got that, raise your hands.

Whoa. You people are sick!

Shane obviously is an H2 lurker

The Day After

Back to the salt mines, losers, unless you took the whole week off or work in the service industry. Serving isn’t really difficult, so it doesn’t count if you have to work a double, or even a fake double. Carrying nice people food and making them drinks—you should be paying them!

 

Serving Her a Glass of Babies Was a Poor Choice

Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

BBF

Hello interspecies friends, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Drink of the week.

 

Your model was born in London, England, UK, Great Britain on September 27th, 1988.  She stands 5’5″ and measures 34F-27-32 on the holyshit scale.  Please clean your bowl and welcome, Miss Sammie Pennington!

An Affair To Remember

I was given some shocking news yesterday, and I am still in disbelief.

This house took us over ten years to build, and it is the crowning achievement of the 32 years I have been in business. Yesterday, I found out that it is listed for sale – $5.6million.

It started in 1997, when the clients were referred to me by the realtor who sold them the 50 acres upon which the house is now situated.

In my initial interview with the client, he stated that he wanted to build a house capable of lasting 1,000 years, like they do in Europe, where his wife is from (Germany). He said, “I might live five years, ten, twenty, or I might be dead tomorrow, and after I’m gone, I don’t care what happens, but I want to build it ‘Right’.”

“I want to make sure that the materials will last, that the systems can be serviced and maintained.”

“I want to make sure materials are compatible with each other. Make sure ferrous metal never comes in contact with non-ferrous, etc., etc., etc.”

So we embarked upon this odyssey where we met once a week for the entire time, including the architect, interior designer, and a whole host of people – lighting consultants, my subcontractors, my material suppliers, my employees, on and on – once a week for ten years. We talked about every aspect of this house. We didn’t build anything unless we talked about it first. There were times when we built some aspect, and if the owner changed his mind, we tore it out, and built something else.

Now, I imagine you’re saying that these sound like terrible clients. They were not. Eccentric, yes, but they were great people. Throughout the entire project, we never had a single argument, or cross word. We got paid (promptly) every month for every hour spent on the job, every piece of material supplied, and every subcontractor I hired – all marked up with our agreed-upon overhead and profit. Every penny.

Initially the house was supposed to be complete within two years, but the process necessarily made the time expand to ten. The years seemed to fly by.

I became good friends with these people, but in the past few years, sort of got out of touch. So I have no idea why they are selling it – health, financial, divorce – who knows? And I don’t really want to.

I want to remember the years of this relationship, and what a special experience it was.