Hello hungry friends, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.
Your model was born June 1st, 1987 in Prague, Czech Republic. 5’8″, 40F-28-36 and 136 lbs, please say hello to Miss Shione Cooper!
Tour de Pants
The Tour of France by bicycle lasts most of the month of July. This year I think I read 2 articles about it. One was how the 2 guys who cover the race on TV are brilliant and the other one a couple of days ago discussing how the rider from the winning team is part of a system that has made the race boring by their success. Despite reading both of these articles (skimming is more like it) I cannot tell you who actually won the race. 
Crashes in bike races, especially road bikes, is part of the fun of watching. Sort of like NASCAR. Fast cars driving around an oval shaped track for hours on end. When they show the highlights, what do they show other than the winner drinking milk and the crashes? That’s right.
The Tour de France is one of those elitist sports that people who don’t watch the debased American sports like football and soccer claim to watch. Sort of like being a vegan…you’ll know if someone follows the tour within 5 minutes of meeting them. World cup soccer, international tennis, cricket, the list goes on and on. All of these things are fine, including being a vegan if you want to do that (dog whistle to Leon), I just don’t want to hear about how they’re superior to traditional American sports!
Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo
That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.
So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.
The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.
So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’
Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.
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This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!
BBF
Hello students, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.
God I love that song.
Me: Big boat deluxe, big boat denied
Google Play: Big boat devolves, big boat deny
Lyrics A-Z: Big broken love, big broken knives
Revolve Lyrics: Big boat deloves, big boat denies
Your model was born in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on February 5th, 1991, and currently resides in Los Angeles, California. She stands 5′8″, 110lbs and 34C-24-34 on the nevergonnahappen scale. Please stop ignoring the pussy and welcome, Miss Ellie Gonsalves!
FOR THE RECORD….
Here is a pic of your mom:
Feel free to add updates. Let’s make this a community project.
I got some funny. /car in
This would have been good yesterday, but that’s Leon’s gig.
I’ll choke a bitch.
Moose is looking forward to the summer already – this is from LAST summer, of course.
Bill Clinton’s Weenus
This will be an exploration of my long held theory that Bill will not allow Pickles McParkinsons to win the election so that he can continue to dick bimbos for the short remainder of his life.
Have you seen the first dude lately? He looks like he hasn’t had a decent meal in ten years or that his alleged syphilis is finally winning the war on women. I kid, I kid. He’s a vegan so you know he has syphilis.
So here’s the theory, in case you missed it in my survey class taught at Muppet U, or if you forgot what was written in the first paragraph: Bill will do anything to prevent Smiley McOpenmouth from getting in the oval office. Way too important to keep his little Gore wet. Yes, for those of you scoring at home, he calls his blank shooter Al Gore.
I bet you’re thinking I’m totally wrong. That the allure of being half of the first ever male/female presidential couple is just too, er, alluring. Consider this: whenever things get good for her, he trots out some sorry statement that even he, a veritable Da Vinci of lying can’t clean up.
Man, that’s gonna sting. Don’t get me wrong, no one cares what he said…except for the only man that might actually make a difference in the election: Golfy McOkieDoke. St Trayvon’s Dad is notoriously thin skinned and its well known that Obama and Bill already hate each other. Bill once told Obama that he should be getting him coffee rather than schlonging his wife (that’s Web Hubble’s job) and Obama’s black half never got over it. If you locked these two in a bedroom closet only one would emerge–probably Bill with panties on his head, wearing high heels, but that’s besides the point. The hate is real my groovy babies, the hate is real.
Weenus + Viagra >Husband + Most Powerful Woman in the World
Its math, and therefore indisputable, although its probably racist.
FIN
What change looks like
The Official Sports Team of The Hostages
Honorary Hostage David Thorne – Epic E-mail Exchange
Get TITS2 & The H2 Stuff
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