BBF

Hello lazy dogs, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model is from Austria, she stands 5’7″ and measures 38E-26-37 and 118lbs.  Please Grüße das Vaterland and welcome,  Miss Lillith von Titz!

Continue reading

BBF

Hello good people, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model is a former cam girl, current porn star, who made a video of petting the kitty in the school library that went viral and got her expelled.  Born in Salem, Oregon on June 16, 1995, 5’9″ 32G-25-35 and 125lbs.  Please form an orderly line and check out Miss Kendra Sunderland.

Continue reading

Obama II: Cockfacefuckaloo

That last word seems made up but it isn’t. If you search for it on the intertitty you’ll find a wealth of information.

So Obama is back, and this time going to kick ass and use cliches, and he’s all out of cliches. The world is stuck like a deer in the headlights of a sixteen wheel suck mobile, paralyzed at his magnificence–or so the media would have you believe.

The truth, harder than a diamond, and as difficult to swallow as a giant bitter pill is that only a few people actually care; rich old liberals and black women. The rest of us are just trying to get on with our lives. The days of our lives, even.

So please, do us a favor, oh God Emperor of the Early Release Television Series, go the fuck away. Obama could build a speech generator using the words, ‘world, future, change, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, let us, hope, and destiny,’ bridged together with terrible sentence formations and almost no one would notice. Just put up a cardboard cut out and play side A of the tape called ‘Flattering Rich Crackers’ then flip it over to side B, ‘I am Black Also, and Understand You.’

Save everyone else some time, dickface. If we wanted to be talked down to or bored to death we’d use bad grammar in a blog post and wait for Hotspur to show up.

*

*

*

*

*

*

gtfo_clean.jpg

This man, right here, the one I’m pointing to…is a DICK!!!

BBF

Hello students, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

God I love that song.

Me:  Big boat deluxe,  big boat denied

Google Play:  Big boat devolves, big boat deny

Lyrics A-Z:  Big broken love, big broken knives

Revolve Lyrics:  Big boat deloves, big boat denies

 

Your model was born in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia on February 5th, 1991, and currently resides in Los Angeles, California.  She stands 5′8″, 110lbs and 34C-24-34 on the nevergonnahappen scale.  Please stop ignoring the pussy and welcome, Miss Ellie Gonsalves!

Continue reading

BBF

Hello saucy wenches,  and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model for today is an adult film star, she was born January 5th, 1980 in Panorama City, CA.  Standing 6 feet tall, 36F-30-34 and 165lbs, please stop making fish sticks great again long enough to welcome, Miss Alison Tyler!

Continue reading

Bill Clinton’s Weenus

 

This will be an exploration of my long held theory that Bill will not allow Pickles McParkinsons to win the election so that he can continue to dick bimbos for the short remainder of his life.

Have you seen the first dude lately? He looks like he hasn’t had a decent meal in ten years or that his alleged syphilis is finally winning the war on women. I kid, I kid. He’s a vegan so you know he has syphilis.

So here’s the theory, in case you missed it in my survey class taught at Muppet U, or if you forgot what was written in the first paragraph: Bill will do anything to prevent Smiley McOpenmouth from getting in the oval office. Way too important to keep his little Gore wet. Yes, for those of you scoring at home, he calls his blank shooter Al Gore.

I bet you’re thinking I’m totally wrong. That the allure of being half of the first ever male/female presidential couple is just too, er, alluring. Consider this: whenever things get good for her, he trots out some sorry statement that even he, a veritable Da Vinci of lying can’t clean up.

Man, that’s gonna sting. Don’t get me wrong, no one cares what he said…except for the only man that might actually make a difference in the election: Golfy McOkieDoke. St Trayvon’s Dad is notoriously thin skinned and its well known that Obama and Bill already hate each other. Bill once told Obama that he should be getting him coffee rather than schlonging his wife (that’s Web Hubble’s job) and Obama’s black half never got over it. If you locked these two in a bedroom closet only one would emerge–probably Bill with panties on his head, wearing high heels, but that’s besides the point.  The hate is real my groovy babies, the hate is real.

Weenus + Viagra >Husband + Most Powerful Woman in the World

Its math, and therefore indisputable, although its probably racist.

FIN

 

 

BBF

Hello Troopers, and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

 

 

Your model today was born in Chicago on January 15th, 1989.  She stands 5’7″ and measures 36DDD-24-40 and 120lbs.  Please stop freaking out man long enough to say hello to Miss Christina Iannelli!

Continue reading

Orange Wire

Vik Muniz

b. 1961 Sao Paulo, Nova Scotia.

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.21.28 PM

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.23.47 PM

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.24.16 PM

Eclectic and prolific, there is an entire universe of Muniz to explore.

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.21.59 PM

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.24.41 PM

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.24.53 PM

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.25.47 PM

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.21.36 PM

Screen Shot 2016-06-26 at 18.26.16 PM

Yet again, I was not aware of Muniz before researching for this column which is odd in that he’s a really famous artist.  It just goes to show how low-brow, under-exposed, pedestrian, and milquetoast I truly am.

But enough about my virtues; let me succinctly highlight one of my many faults.  I have a poor concept of the passage of time when I am working on a production.  Please allow me to ask a straight faced question.

Did I miss posting last Tuesday?

don’t ask me.  I’m not myself these days.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I am myself but this myself is not the myself that kicks it at The H2.  This is who I was prior 2009 and my re-deployment to film life has been an unique vignette into how my life would have been different had I zigged instead of zagged when I retired.

I miss you.

I am exhausted.

 

 

ch -_-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz